This is one of our role model couples. Claire and Cliff Huxtable.

Even though it is television, it’s still a goal I’m willing to strive for. They are beautifully happy together, they still have fun, they bring out the best in each other. They keep each other happy, that’s why people get into committed relationships right? To be happy :) They have beautiful children, an amazing family! I’m just saying, it’s just fascinating to see such strong forever love…….even if it is televised. :)

- Mrs. Robot

Something simple is something special

Sleeping in his t-shirt, his hoodie, his boxers, AND his socks :) It’s not a diamond ring, or a gold watch. It’s something that he’s worn before countless times. Something that kept him warm now keeping me warm. I’m sure when he wore these garments, he wasn’t thinking of any specialness that pertained to them. But, to me, it’s like he’s still here with me cuddling :D Hehehe

-Mrs. Robot

Confiding to each other:

If you hold in something that you really want to release from your significant other, it’ll only build up pain and tension and your other will never even know something is wrong. Letting them know how you truly feel about something is the one way they will figure out what they need to do to keep you happy. Letting them into your heart will let them want to stay there, and you will want to keep them there after release. 

After an argument or a bad time, things will not be okay automatically. But given time and finally understanding your partner, things will start to look a lot better. Just wait.

THE FIRST TIME:

This blog is not only about the great times in our relationship, but the struggles we may face and how we go about to overcome them. For the first time in our relationship, Nigel has hurt me emotionally. For the first time, I felt my heart start to break. Yes, we’ve had bad times and I’ve been upset, but HE has never personally hurt me before.

It’s crazy how you realize how much you love someone. Perhaps its not such a great thing all the time. People are blinded by love. If someone hurts the other, that love overpowers all the hatred they may have towards that person. It’s as if, the person cannot even stay upset for so long because they love their significant other so much. It’s being naive. It’s being blind. It’s being …me? 

I actually blame myself. I’ve been lying to myself that it’s impossible for him to hurt me. I’ve been telling myself all along that he could never betray my trust, I’ll always be able to trust him, everything he says to me is honest. That’s naive. I should’ve been more realistic and not have such high expectations of him. One of the biggest killers of relationships is expectations, and I’ve been expecting him not to hurt me, lie to me, trick me, etc. …and once he did, it killed me even more than it probably would’ve had I not had these expectations. 

It’s scary. I’m scared that I could get hurt again. I’m scared that maybe I was way too quick to forgive. I’m scared that the relationship will never be the same. I’m scared that there will always be this thing in the back of my mind knowing what happened. I’m scared that HE’LL never be the same again. I’m just scared.

It’s hard for me. And I’m really trying to make an effort to keep the relationship going strong, but it’s hard. Especially feeling like I’m the only one making said effort. Not saying he hasn’t or doesn’t want, I just FEEL like I’m the only one. Maybe I’m wrong. But it’s really hard for me just because I’ve been hurt before by someone I loved. I knew how I was and how I became in that relationship after being hurt so badly. And I don’t want that for us. 

Even though the reason I’m hurt now is different than my past relationship’s reason [cheating], I still feel like I’ve been down this road before. I don’t wanna be in a relationship where I have to question whether the person is deserving of my trust or not. I don’t wanna be in a relationship constantly wondering IF that trust is justifiable. Grr..

I don’t want to ask for help. But I thought I knew what to do, and I still just don’t know. I just wanna feel like I’m not going to bail out on the relationship, or call it quits. I wanna make sure we can be phenomenal again. I wanna know that one day, maybe,  I can possibly forget this. 

This is the most I……

Ugh…

This is the first time I’ve felt like this.

- MRS. ROBOT

Watch on mrandmrsrobot.tumblr.com

This is just presh :) …. Watch it! It describes me perfectly I think. My heart has been damaged, abused, but Nigel is there to take care of it :) <3

-Mrs. Robot

Watch on mrandmrsrobot.tumblr.com

So, on a daily basis I go on Facebook and do the whole “Happy Birthday” ritual. I go to whose ever birthday it is and wish them Happy Birthday on their page. Today I did that to an old friend that I haven’t seen since 6th grade. I barely talk to a lot of people that I knew during that time but I still keep up with the news. Like who’s pregnant, who ran away from home, or sadly, who died. My friend from the sixth grade, (now a sophomore in college), had a boyfriend who passed away about 2 years ago. I didn’t know the guy personally, but I knew of him. And when I heard the news, all I could think about was my friend who was madly in love with him. When I wished her happy birthday, I saw that she wrote on his wall. She told him (paraphrased) “Today is my birthday, and honestly I’m not that happy. I wish I was, and everybody is being really nice and everything, but I wish that you were here to celebrate it with me. I was hoping for that 12 AM text or 7 AM phone call. We always wanted to be the first ones to tell each other happy birthday. I miss you so much and I love you.” I felt so sad for her, I could tell she was really in love with him. She got his name tattooed on her and everything.

I had a friend who passed away last year, and I know that people still go to her Facebook wall and share things with her. They tell her stories, share memories, or just vent. So I went to his page to see if his friends did that too. They did. I wanted to see all the posts my friend wrote to see how she was handling his death. I clicked “See Friendship” and she wrote him so much. She shared everything. She told him about the small parts of her day, when a memory pops up in her head, when she visits his grave, when she visits his family…etc. I just admire her, because she’s so strong. Even though I can tell it’s oh so very hard for her to process. She is trying to keep on moving with her life and I respect that.

One post I read was a from couple of days after she found out about his death. She said she was out of town when she got the phone call. She said that she was so happy that she got to say goodbye and that she loved him before she left.

That post is mainly the reason why I’m writing this. I noticed her saying that they had a lot of bad times and arguments. It made me think, what if they were arguing before she left and didn’t say goodbye or I love you? I think she would’ve been even more restless than she initially was.Then that made me think about my relationship. And when Nigel quoted Alicia Keys. One day he told me “I want you to always kiss me like you’ll never see me again.” I want to always live everyday like it may be our last, because it very well may be. We never know what would happen tomorrow, the next day, or the next year.

Every time you argue with your loved one, or do something detrimental. Think “What if he/she isn’t going to be here tomorrow, will I regret this for the rest of my life?” When your loved one goes out of town for a few days/weeks/months, give them the biggest hug using all your strength. Matter of fact, every time you say good bye, hug them/kiss them like it’s the last. Don’t go home wishing for more when you have the opportunity to give your all. Live life to the fullest. Don’t dwell on the small things and make a big fiasco, look at them and ask “is it even worth debating?” HAVE FUN! Don’t sit around wishing for more, live life like there’s no tomorrow, because none of us can predict the future. My motto used to be “go to sleep every night with a smile.” That way you end your day happy so if it is your last day, there’s no regrets. Don’t leave an argument unsolved, questions unanswered, kisses unkissed. Keep living strong because you just never know.

I hope the best for my friend. Even though it’s been about 2 years, I can tell she’s still hurting. I wish I can tell her I know how she feels, but fortunately for me, I can’t. But I’ve learned a valuable lesson after reading all her posts she wrote him.

You can’t always expect tomorrow. So live today like their isn’t one.

.

-Mrs. Robot

Whether it is a male and a female, a female and a female, or a male and a male, a relationship consists of more than one person. No one should ever feel alone while they’re committing themselves to someone else. Everyone wants to be and should be heard.

There are numerous of relationships out there where one mate feels inferior to the other. They don’t tell their partners what actions that they may or may not do that could hurt them. They don’t defend themselves because they don’t want to make their mate upset. They just go with the flow and take any nonsense that comes their way.

The biggest reason why someone in a relationship rarely enforces their own opinions, or their feelings, is because they want to keep the other happy. They feel as though if they continue to keep their lover happy, then eventually they will be happy as well. That should never be the case. Yes it is important to keep your person happy, however, if you making them happy persists to make you feel inferior, unseen, unheard, or unloved, is it worth it?  Making yourself happy should always come first. With that, it’ll be a blessing to make others happy rather than a regret.

If your partner tells you they feel alone, then stand up! Stand up and be there for them. If you truly care about them don’t just say it, but show them. Assemble actions that express your commitment. Don’t let your partner continue to suffer in the relationship, instead give them reasons why they shouldn’t.

If you feel alone, speak up. It isn’t healthy to continuously put yourself in a situation that entails being lonesome and damaged. You’re with your companion for a reason, there’s obviously some reason that attracted you to be with them and form a mutual relationship. You deserve to be happy with them, just be honest with your partner, and most importantly yourself.

-Mrs. Robot

Going the Distance

I know our relationship isn’t as exclusive as most long distance relationships. We’re actually quite lucky. We’re planning on seeing each other during the summer, and we’re going to be together for a whole new school year. But I’m starting to understand why people even bother getting into long distance relationships in the first place. LOVE. I’ve had friends hat haven’t seen their other in years or they only see each other for a very small portion each year. I always wondered, “why bother being in a relationship if you are actually WITH the person?” Generally they all basically said “Because I love them and I know we can make it work.” I get it now. Just knowing that each of you are willing to be strong enough to withstand the distance is beautiful. Each of you are facing challenges, temptations, emotions, withdrawals, etc…..for one person. Knowing that you’re doing all these challenges for that one person and waiting for the day just so you can see them again and be in their arms says so much. Basically, it’s hard being away from Nigel, but I’m trying my hardest to be strong in all accounts and I hope Nigel is too. I’m just doing it for love.

- Mrs. Robot

Change

We were talking the other day about how we didn’t really need to change much about ourselves to impress the other. I still stand by that, I don’t dress up all the time, I don’t do my hair and make up everyday, I don’t pretend to like things because I know Nigel likes them. I don’t do all the stuff a lot of people do to impress the other, and he said he doesn’t do that with me. But lately, I’ve been doing a lot of changing…

I mean I’m changing certain things in order for us to stop having all the problems we had and stuff, but it gets frustrating at times. I feel like instead of all the makeup or fancy clothes, I’m doing other things now in order to impress him. I mean it’s for me to get better and everything, but I feel like I have to adjust everything about me in order for me to keep him happy.

I don’t mind changing if the end result will mean both of us are happy, but this brings me to what I was thinking last night. I have to give up somethings that make me happy in order for the person I love to be happy, so they’re happy with me, so I’m happy. But from past experience, it doesn’t really work out that way. I usually make the other person happy, but I’m not completely happy with myself.

I’d do just about anything for Nigel to keep him happy, for anyone I love really. It’s just, I’m making all these changes and adjustments and giving up things for others..

Idk, no one has yet to answer my question. “Is it right for you to give up your happiness in order for the ones you love to be happy?”

Also, I’m not saying I’m unhappy. I’m very satisfied and everything. And he makes me truly happy, I just want to know if me changing will keep me happy. That’s all.

-Mrs. Robot

Seeing these couples in our dash..

The ones that say “6 years and still going” “5 years and still going strong” “i love him/i love her”

Give me so much inspiration and faith :)

If THEY can do it, I’m sure as hell knowing that we can :).

Only if you down for the challenge babe :D

-Mrs. Robot

Mrs. Robot Gets Real

A little history:

I’ve had boyfriends before, I’ve even loved someone before. But that love was tainted. The first boy that I gave my heart to, did everything for, ran back to every time he left, was the boy that broke my heart the most. I gave him everything, he knows everything about me, and he constantly broke my heart. The first time he cheated on me, I was extremely upset. I broke things, I punched things, all I could constantly think about was “Why? What did I do wrong? What is he looking for that I can’t give him? Why did this happen?” I was in a depressed state for the longest. We broke up of course, but he asked, begged, for me back. The fact that he was begging me to be in his life was a sign to me that he realizes he messed up and he’s hurt that I left him blah blah blah. So I took him back. I thought I was “The One” in his eyes. We were good, then BAM once again, he betrayed my trust. I had no faith in our relationship any longer. I still took him back though, over and over and over and over again. I thought just maybe, there’s a little ounce of kindness in his soul that he could find and stop doing this to me. I kept thinking “This time will be different, it just has to be.” I was wrong, and I was hurt countless times. We eventually became official exes. Soon after the break up I started dating again. EVERY SINGLE GUY after my ex seemed to be a douche bag. They’d cheat on me, talk down to me, make me feel useless. I’ve had horrible experiences dating wise. I honestly believe my past has a massive effect on who I am today and my relationship with Nigel. A lot of problems our relationship has faced has been caused from certain events in my past.

Here’s the truth about the way I am was:

One of my exes cheated on me with someone because I wouldn’t have sex with him.

  • I feel if I don’t have sex/give oral with a boyfriend when he wants to, he’ll either cheat on me or leave me. I don’t like feeling pressured into doing something I don’t want to do, but there are times when I feel like I don’t do them, my significant other will get up and walk out.

Confession: I did have sex with one other person after my ex I loved. For the reason that I thought he’d leave if I didn’t and for the reason I was really vulnerable from my big breakup. Guess what, he still played me.

One of my exes cheated on me with an ex girlfriend and they fell in love.

  • I feel if a boyfriend of mine is good friends and starts hanging out a lot with one of his exes, soon they’ll rekindle that fire and feelings for each other will erupt. I never used to be the jealous type, but I do get scared. I get scared that I’m not good enough for a boyfriend of mine to stop caring about his past, when I want to be so great that he won’t look at any other girl the way he looks at me.

One of my exes would update his statuses about how amazing the girl he was cheating on me with is! (The sad thing is I believed him every time he said it’s just his best friend/cousin)

Example Status: Shaquanna (fake name) is the best girl ever! She really knows how to make a man smile. I love her!

This also clashes with another ex who cheated on me because he was trying to keep me a secret (from his other girlfriend[s]). He didn’t put “In a Relationship”, he never wrote any thing about me on his profile even though I’d do it plenty of times for him.

  • Once again I feel “ungood” enough. I felt worthless. Especially with the first guy, he was so proud to show off the other girl but with me, I wasn’t worth it? Isn’t that what we all want to feel - like we’re worth something? The second guy, I hated feeling like I had to be hidden. He’d tell me things like “I’m not comfortable with everyone knowing I’m in a relationship, my friends would rag on me, but believe me I wish I could.” I accepted that. I understood some guys were uncomfortable with this kind of thing. I accepted it until I!! put him in a status on Myspace and some girl flipped out on me when she signed on to his profile. I want to feel like I’m the most amazing thing in my guy’s life. I want to be bragged about. I want the world to know I make him happy, when I see people bragging about their spouse I get envious because I know they feel like their amazing. I just want to be bragged about, just a little, who doesn’t right?

The last one I’ll share because it was relevant to the problems that have occurred in my relationship with Nigel is the female friend thing. Now don’t get me wrong, I feel it’s perfectly fine when a guy I’m dating has female friends, because I have male friends as well. But I do get uncomfortable and Nigel noticed. This one is pretty predictable, the guy had many girl friends which were actually many girlfriends. 

  • I just want to be in a relationship where I can trust my spouse 100% but if he’s going to go behind my back AFTER I’ve given my trust to him, how should I feel? When you break someone’s trust of course you feel horrible. But when its your trust that’s been broken, you feel like it’s the end of the world. You gave that person your trust, you took their word, and there’s no going back.

None of these stories are about Nigel, and believe it or not these aren’t all the stories. But I feel like people should understand why some girls/guys are skeptical during relationships. Their past has huge effects on them so it’s hard for people to let their guard down. I also want Nigel to understand the exact reasons some of our problems arose. I apologize for bringing them into the relationship more than once, but I just can’t apologize because I did. I can’t control what my mind has been negatively constructed to think. BUT Mrs. Robot is getting better. I started testing myself, asking myself questions, realizing Nigel is different, Nigel ISN’T those guys.

So people in relationships, yes sometimes your past can be repeated but then there is someone out there who will help you gradually forget that past. Remember, the people you’re in a relationship with now ISN’T the people you were in a relationship before. You have to go with the flow and see if he/she can truly be the one.

My body is here in Texas, but my heart is way over there in Pennsylvania. Over a thousand miles away, but our love overpowers the distance and the time. <3

"I no longer count the days I’ve spent without you, I now count down the days until I see you and know as the numbers get smaller the sooner I’ll be back in your arms." -Bianca D. Williams (hehehe)

-Mrs. Robot

Watch on mrandmrsrobot.tumblr.com

Distance, it is a test of love, many will fail, but for those who can withstand it have the answer: true love.

Going to college, I had no idea of what kind of people I’d meet. I had no idea of what states they’d come from, what accents I may hear, the fashion I may see… Nigel is one of those people.

First off, I’m an Army BRAT, so I’ve lived all over the United States. Before I came to college I moved to Texas. Nigel is from Pennslyvania. You do the math. Or, I’ll do it for you :). We are exactly 1808.99 miles apart. I’ve never had a relationship with anyone so far away. In our case, I consider our long - distance relationship pretty lucky. It’s only for a few months (Summer Break), and we plan on seeing each other during the vacation. After spending so much time with some one for so long, having that taken away from you is quite frankly a little depressing.This reminds me of one of the metaphors I’ve come up with in the duration of our relationship. FUN-DIP SYNDROME

Fun-Dip Syndrome is the condition of being so attached to one person, when they aren’t there you can’t help but want more of them. It kind of sounds like an addiction, but it’s not that dramatic. The “syndrome” derived from this: Say you are a kid, you are happy-go-lucky about every little thing. Your mom buys you the miraculous Fun-Dip packet you asked for. You’re having a blast, dipping your marshmallow flavored stick into the powdery goodness, licking it all joyfully and what not…then BAM!! For some unknown reason, you drop the pack of powder and the stick, leaving you with nothing but bare hands and tears. You beg and plead your mom to buy you another one, and all she says is “Sorry little Billy Joe Bob, but you’ll have to wait until tomorrow.” To a kid, tomorrow seems like an eternity, especially when they had something so great, so magnificent, and now it’s gone. That’s how I described missing Nigel so much when we would part ways. I loved spending time with him, and I loved just having him in my presence. Saying goodbye was always difficult for me, so I’d just say it’s Fun-Dip Syndrome: I had it, it’s gone, and I have to wait to get it again.

Right now I’m way beyond Fun-Dip Syndrome, I’m in a coma and the only thing that can rejuvenate me is Fun-Dip. However, I am grateful. I’m grateful for the advanced technology that provides me with texting, video messaging, or simply e-mailing. I can’t even imagine what it would be like in the past. Writing letters everyday, waiting patiently for a letter in response, sending pictures, or talking for a limited time on the telephone…I don’t think I could’ve handled it. I’m also grateful that it’s only for a few short months, I just know even though I massively miss him right now, we’ll be in each others’ arms soon :)

What I’d like to know is for couples who are facing the wretched truth of long - distance relationships for more than a few months, more like a year at the least, how do they do it? I know there’s a lot of couples out there trying to manage the distance, but how? What’s their secrets? I know some of the biggest fears can be

  • Cheating
  • Falling out of Love
  • Forgetting Someone
  • Losing Contact
  • Never Seeing Someone

I’m sure there’s a hell of a lot more too. But I admire those who are confident and strong enough to not let fear overpower the strength of their love. I actually talked to one of my friends who joined the Marines. He is in a two year relationship with a girl, but he is now deported. Before he left, I asked him how can you be so confident when you’re leaving her behind? He said, “I’m so confident because I know I’m coming back. I’m confident because I know she loves me enough to wait for me and be one of the first people to welcome me with open arms when I do come back.” I was very impressed and inspired when I heard that.

So as for the distance, yes it’s large and it’s dreadful, but I know that this time apart isn’t forever :)

-Mrs. Robot

Thoughts From The Mrs.

The first time I met Nigel, I thought: Well he’s a cute guy, he could be a cool friend, he’s obviously interested in unique things…blah blah blah. I never thought that we’d be where we are today. I never thought I’d be here with anyone today: in love. Especially in college..especially at the college I go to. I was expecting all guys to be players and try to get as many girls as possible. People have warned me about these lists guys make of girls in college, about how many girls they’ve slept with, lists with the names of girls, etc. I was very skeptical about getting into a relationship freshman year. Especially with my past (I’ll speak on that subject later). But Nigel changed my mind. After going on magical dates with him, having priceless conversations….my love for him never ceased to grow. I kept growing fond of him more and more. I wanted him in my life more and more, and I knew I couldn’t let a good man walk away. That’s why I said yes, when he asked me to be in a committed relationship with him. I’ve never regretted a day with him since :)

-Mrs. Robot

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