mostly-i-like-the-fact-that-they're-friends

every “annabeth goes to percy’s school” fic ever
  • title is either “Annabeth goes to goode”/a “goode” pun/talks about how cliched it is 
  • summary says it’s “not like the others”/ revels in the fact it’s cliched
  •  everyone forgets goode’s a private school with a uniform (how else could we have school slut??? oh the horror)
  • percy has five friends (three girls, two guys)
  • two couples within these five friends
  • percy’s best friend is a girl who’s in love with him 
  • no one believes annabeth is real and percy must have “photoshopped her into the photos” or “paid her” because “percy could never get a girl like that”, 
  • despite the fact “he’s the most popular guy in school” but doesn’t know why he is- he’s only got “a six pack, windswept raven hair, tanned skin, and sea green eyes.” (huh)
  • there is a slutty desperate cheerleader/ queen bee who wants percy and cannot take a hint 
  • description of said “slut”: “pounds” of caked makeup, looks orange because her foundation colour is all wrong, wearing a skirt and top so tight and tiny it’s basically underwear. (i swear american high schools don’t even let girls show off their fucking shoulders/bra straps where the hell did this come from??)
  • Annabeth’s transferred to goode but it’s a surprise 
  • also she’s living at Percy’s place
  • she’s wearing grey and owls 
  • she makes a massive entrance and everyone stares with jealousy/whistles or catcalls
  • she goes to office and meets one of percy’s female friends (not the one who’s in love with him)
  • aforementioned friend says “oh my god your locker is next to the most popular and hottest boy in school. He’s one of my best friends but all the girls are in love with him, he’s captain of the swim team”
  • Annabeth sees percy. She sneaks up on him. Aforeaforementioned friend is like “what are you doing” Annabeth calls percy seaweedbrain/ pretends she is a monster
  • percy kisses her while the entire hallway goes silent
  • “slut” turns up and screeches “what are you doing with MY boyfriend”
  • “I’M his girlfriend.”
  • “Oh please he doesn’t want a dumb blonde bimbo like you. I’M the one he really wants”
  • [cue totally uncalled for and overdramatic proclamation of love] “Annabeth is not a dumb blonde. Shes the most intelligent person i know. We have saved each other’s lives countless times, i gave up immortality for her, I would and have gone to hell and back for her blah blah cringe cringe”
  • there is douchey jock was “wants to bang the new hot dumb blonde”
  • they have the same schedule except for electives
  • annabeth is doing architecture and percy is doing marine biology/swimming
  • they both take greek and they are better than the teacher who is a completely obnoxious moron
  • in gym class they do sword fighting: the cocky jock challenges percy, loses pathetically; annabeth and Percy are better than everyone obviously and everyone watches them spar in awe
  • “don’t call me annie”
  • percy/annabeth have tartarus flashback in class
  • douche and “slut” join forces to break up percy and annabeth
  • they have phones- (leo made anti-monster ones) 
  • “slut” POV: who does that fake blonde bitch think she is PERCY WANTS ME. he will be mine he clearly loves me 
  • jock POV: Jackson doesn’t deserve her she wants me she’s a hot piece of ass
  • best friend in love with percy POV: I’m percy’s closest friend I’ve known him longest he’ll fall for me not her. She’s not right for him. *”you belong with me” by taylor swift starts playing* 
  • said friend questions percy and annabeth during lunch; finds out they’ve known each other since they were 12; crushed but undeterred
  • “so Annabeth you go to camp with percy?” “Can i come?” “No it’s only for kids with dyslexia and ADHD”
  • jock tries to kiss Annabeth, percy punches him (annabeth is helpless without her percykins) 
  • the rest of the seven/ thalia “pinecone face” grace (artemis wanted her to get an education because she’ll obviously need it while she’s an eternal hunter) +nico “death breath” di angelo (same year as percy and annabeth and probably straight) /stolls (who are now twins) +katie (get ready for tratie and katie yelling “STOLLS” while chasing them around) +clarisse /silena and beckendorf (hades brought them back from the dead apparently so they could finish their education-they’ll need it in Elysium duh) /all of them, will probably show up at one point (grover is forgotten like usual)
  • the reasoning for this will be “oh chiron said it would be easier if we’re all together” (the whole attracting monsters thing isn’t an issue apparently, and all of them are voluntarily leaving camp to go to school)
  • they only get attacked by a monster once anyways and it’s to reveal that either the infatuated best friend or the jock/cheerleader can see through the mist/is a demigod- usually a son of Apollo or a daughter of Aphrodite
  • newly discovered demigod goes to camp, tries to break up percy and annabeth and is threatened by camper, massive detailed speech about tartarus, quests etc cringe blah (again)
  • the end