Anonymous asked: I felt an impossible loneliness today until I tumbled into your space. Now I know I’ve found a similar spirit and I feel the possibility of all things. Now I can wander through crowds and pass unnoticed like a little ghost, but I will not feel so alone
Anonymous asked: you are a beautiful creature. I am incredibly lonely, anxious and troubled. I find myself in a pit of despair, with a beast in here wanting to destroy every little part of me. can you please please help me in any way? perhaps with a thing, or just with your beautiful words.
I am wearing my coat in and on and around the bed because the rain, my dears, is here. It arrived a little bit of time ago, and people have been warning me about it for months and months and all the minutes of today and yesterday. Time is not a thing I can work or understand. I ignore it entirely until it gets right up behind me and I feel my fingers and face go hot and I check my chest for your tiny clawings.
Still. It rained and is raining.
Sometimes people write to me about loneliness. Perhaps lonely people can taste it in the wind, the need to presspress oneself into some other. A tree perhaps, if you feel she might might might be on the other side doing the same.
They are all nice seeming ones. Gentle and ok and easy to love in some way or other. And this place, and these bones, are safe ones. Like those dreams I kept having - of my hand on your neck and under your hair. Between those two things, biting and bitten.
I hope you are both ok. I am easy enough to find and trouble. I shall draw you a map of my ways and wheres and whens, and perhaps you can find your way to the other side of the tree.
deathdrinkingcoffie asked you: oh oh you little worry, where are you now? i see the glass of your window but not the little thing behind it. Maybe you grew older, with your birds in summer
Oh yes, endlessly older, all rot and ruin. Sometimes it is difficult to remember how to do the propers, walking and choosing and paying and doing. The reals, and knowing how one looks while one does them. Much much easier to get lost in things and things and thighs and wrings. So we do.
Anonymous asked you: I love you.
Little greyface. It is nice that you are here, and all blink and beatbeating heart.
There is a tiny wooden bridge near my house, barely necessary, but I am always sure to need it all and I try to peer down between the wood and the water to see if you are there.
And there is that cat black cat that comes wandering over each time, coming from somewhere someone, with a thing to tell but I cannot figure the creak and mew of it. It comes from meetings with you, I think.
And the tree that spitspits and the bird that follows me home and makes the sounds of alllll the birds it can. Perhaps you know them perhaps you taught them. I will find the noises of this bird and put them here so you can tell me if you recognise her chatters.
We will know it, you and I.
Because I promised all of you a big fat Moonling. This creature is what I call a Moonling. Creatures made of essences of fear that appear only on half moons seeking sources of light to find its prey like moths to a flame. They appear sluggishly in a shroud of fog deep in the nights, moaning and howling and instill grave fear into all, including the most hardened and ‘fearless’. You feel it before you see it, a sudden chill and coldness and a fear or terror so deep that the breathing stops in the hopes not to be found, some are killed of the feeling, others thrown into fits. If it hears or sees a victim, the Moonling will close on it and devour its body and essences. The soul is normally so damaged that it disintegrates as soon as it flees the body. This isn’t the biggest badest or ugliest of the moonlings, but it’s one of the more common way of seeing them. I don’t know whats possessed me to suddenly have a fascination with them, but hey, i can draw them as long as I stay a distance from their range with binoculars right???
(I realize its been a while, got a little lost :) )
Moonlings are a strange creature that can be categorized into some of the rare living essences that inhabit some of Hup. It is unknown what sparks their creation, unlike water consciousnesses which develop in the energy of water under the intention of what might be thought of as a soul, or fire consciousnesses which seek only to burn. They are very solid beasts and thus are unique to other essences, but cannot be physically harmed and hold only to the desire to feed. It is believed that they develop from the essences of fear, due to their nature.
A moonling is terrifying to all living creatures. They appear only under the cycles of at least one half moon of Hup’s six peeking through the dark of the nights, and inhabit mostly the high volcanic regions of Hup where there is little life aside from other essences and mineral creatures. When on the hunt, this beast will slowly lumber along towards any source of light seeking prey, moaning and howling as it moves. Living things such as plants will whither as it moves over them, and mobile living creatures will freeze where they stand or run aimlessly simply to escape. The fear stricken on the victims unfortunate enough to come within this creature’s energy range is incredible. They will find themselves with energy being leeched away towards the creature, and those effected most may experience seizures, asphyxiation, anxiety fits and can even perish through the amount of shock inflicted upon them. When the Moonling spots or hears a victim, it will make its way over to the possibly subdued creature and it will devour it alive. With this, it is common when finding moonlings, to witness a number of them feeding upon a fear stricken draken type animal, or other large animal.
Once the sun begins to rise, the Moonling will return to hibernation until the next half moon. Unlike other essences, Moonlings must feed on organic, live matter to survive. If starved they will continue to shrink until it shrivels to something near the size of a cat, and decomposes into the earth in a matter of minutes. If well fed, they can become massive, grotesque and bulbous. But they are rare.
Journal entry: While it was fascinating finding these creatures, and learning about them through Chulia and distanced observation… even being within site to one is a rush of adrenaline I would not like to repeat. As advised by my current guide, I will not be returning to this particular volcanic region. But if I come across more on my travels, I will document them…. from a distance, I have found binoculars specifically for that.
I haven’t drawn in this book for a while, so I figured it was time for a doodle. This creature is what I call a Moonling. Creatures made of essences of fear that appear only on half moons seeking sources of light to find its prey like moths to a flame. They appear sluggishly in a shroud of fog deep in the nights, moaning and howling and instill grave fear into all, including the most hardened and ‘fearless’. You feel it before you see it, a sudden chill and coldness and a fear or terror so deep that the breathing stops in the hopes not to be found, some are killed of the feeling, others thrown into fits. If it hears or sees a victim, the Moonling will close on it and devour its body and essences. The soul is normally so damaged that it disintegrates as soon as it flees the body. This Moonling is a little one, and a thin one. Often times they grow so grotesquely massive that they make channels in the earth where they drag themselves, all they touch withering. They appear to rot as they grow, and spring horns and spines and eyes. Often, they have the entrails of previous victims still hanging from their mouths.
I will be drawing more of these. this one doesn’t quite feel right, I don’t feel fear from it, heh. will try to draw a big one next.