Bio 101 is kicking my ass...
This is flying over my head…and this is the basic stuff.
I feel so dumb right now. I just can’t remember anything…there is so much to learn and my instructor is like “We are going to have a test on Chapters 1-4 on Monday!!”
DO YOU KNOW HOW MUCH INFO IS IN ALL OF THOSE CHAPTERS?!SWEET ZOMBIE JESUS!!
I have a horrible memory…and the fact that I have to remember all of this shit…like…monosaccharides…what the fuck is that?! (Don’t actually answer that.) I know what it is because I literally just picked it out from my text book. But guess what?? Later on—I’m not even going to REMEMBER that damn word!!
I am SO glad I dropped Psychology so I could focus on this class and my other class…I know it sounds so horrible…but I get stressed out easily, I shut down easily…I have panic attacks easily… I am such a fucking mess…You know how shitty I feel right now?? I only have two classes.. TWO! Well…technically three….BIO101, BIOLAB, and VET105!
VET105 you just show up and listen to a spokes person…answer questions on the hand out and turn it in. Boom. 100. It’s easy. Just show up, pay attention/ listen. But BIO101…it’s like…what the fuck.
I love science. I really do. I think it is very fascinating! But dumb it down for me. I can’t keep up with all of this information…this is why I said I had a learning disability—but my parents never believe me. “You are very smart, Katelin! You just don’t do the work! You don’t apply yourself!!” Ever think that maybe…just MAYBE…the work isn’t done because I DON’T GET THE MATERIAL?! There are just somethings I don’t understand!! Explain it to me all you want…I-won’t-get-it. I am trying so hard right now and I feel like I am getting nowhere. I have studied and studied..I even tried different ways of studying. But NOTHING is sticking!!
And I feel like a complete idiot because in BIOLAB I am standing there like “What the fuck is going on?! Why the fuck did that liquid change color?! What the fuck does that mean?!”
If I can’t even get the basics of Biology…then I shouldn’t even try to become a Vet Technician…There is just no fucking way.
I can’t even fucking tell you if Unsaturated fat is a Carbohydrate, protein, or lipid—I know for sure it’s not a nucleic acid…so I have that going for me.
But yeah…and I know it’s probably the easiest fucking thing ever. But I am just so dumb…Waaay over my fucking head. If I question how something works…just give it to me simply. Because otherwise I hear
"When something happens it’s because of this! And what is this? This is a molecule! And what is a molecule made up of? That’s right children a cluster of fucks which I have none to give out right now."
Fuck me sideways…
Just put me out of my misery…I am way too dumb for this.