Can we talk about how fantastic it is that this starts with taking “I feel love for both Alex and Kim” as a valid premise? That nowhere does it say, “Ha lol no I don’t really, I must be mistaken?” It acknowledges that some people do choose to adhere to monogamy in spite of their experience of feeling love for more than one person, and it references a common rationalization for such a choice (i.e., one of these loves is “real love” and the other is—who the hell knows, “just love?”), but it very much depicts it as a choice to forego a relationship with one person you love over preserving a monogamous relationship with another person you love. It doesn’t depict it as, “Ha lol no being in love with more than one person isn’t a thing I’m just infatuated with Kim and clearly Alex is the only one I could possibly love.”

I spent years actively experiencing feelings of connection and love with more than one person at a time, but all I was told by standard relationship narratives was that that wasn’t a thing. And if I found myself thinking that it was a thing—if I thought at any point that I was really actively in love with more than one person—then I must be mistaken about one of them, or both of them, or all of them, or maybe the relationship I’m in isn’t the right fit, or maybe there’s just work we need to do instead of getting sidetracked by this “grass is greener” stuff, or maybe this other person is meddling and manipulative and trying to ruin my relationship, or maybe I’m just a selfish jerk who can’t stop wanting to have her cake and eat it too and everyone I think I love would be better off with other people who really do love them and aren’t selfish jerks and can do this better. It took so, so long for me to look at my experience of loving more than one person and just say, “You know what this is about? It’s about the fact that I love more than one person. That is a thing.”

perhaps monogamy is a compartment afforded in some people’s psyches, but the way i see it, if one doesn’t allow zis Lovers to continue to grow through other wings and chains, so to continue to find new ways to appreciating one better, it’s gonna bite one in the ass down the road.  (monoamoury is rampant.)

Lol at “non-practicing bisexual” (or any polysexual for that matter).

If you’re single and straight, you’re a non-practicing heterosexual? Bisexuality doesn’t mean that you have to constantly have sex with both men and women. Bisexuality doesn’t mean polyamory. You can be bisexual and polyamorous which means that you can have several (sexual or romantic) partners (both men and/or women) at the same time. But many bisexuals are monoamorous which means that they’d only have one partner (a man or a woman) at a time.

Honestly, the kind of heteronormtive bullshit that you get to hear as a polysexual.

One of my biggest pet peeves is listening to people talk about other people’s sheep-like tendencies or “privilege” while failing to acknowledge their own. Recently, there’s been a lot of talk in my social circle about monogamy as social pressure and “mono privilege,” the invisible benefits of being monogamous in contemporary American culture. Generally the argument goes something like this, “People are only monogamous because it’s socially expected and, if they kowtow to social pressure and go along with the status quo, they reap benefits that the strong-willed and independent thinkers (read: polyamorous, non-monogamous, or otherwise “alternative” identified people) do not.”

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