6 Steps in Learning to Love Yourself

1. See the good in your past. There will always be things that we wish had never happened; there will always be bad memories and things that we regret. But they are part of who you are – so accept that they have happened and celebrate the person they’ve allowed you to become.

2. Invest time in the things that bring you happiness. It’s important to identify the things that you enjoy, and that make you come alive, and are all a part of “you”. Spending time on those things will help to raise your self-esteem, as you’re valuing yourself when you pursue happiness.

3. Forgive yourself for your mistakes. We all make mistakes - and when we think of them we cringe. But that doesn’t make you any worse than other people. Just try and learn what you can, and then move on with your life.

4. Stop criticising yourself. So often we’re really our own worst enemy. We look for our flaws, and we put ourselves down – instead of being understanding of our own limitations. It’s time to change that behaviour – so start loving yourself.

5. Listen to your instincts and intuitions. If you want to love yourself, you must listen to yourself. Pay attention to those instincts and your instant gut reaction – and trust that you are right when you hear that inner voice.

6. Appreciate your life. Of course there are things that you wish that you could change. But some things are good, and are worth appreciating. So, focus on, appreciate, and make lots of your strengths.

This is one of my favourite motivational posters.

It’s true that the only thing that separates us from the rest of the animal kingdom is our mental abilities. Our bodies are designed with the assumption that we’re going to spend our days fighting, hunting, foraging, running, climbing, hiding, swimming, and everything else under the sun. Overall success depended on our ability to do these things quickly, effectively, and (if needed) savagely.

Our greatest asset as a species is our ability to plan ahead, to think, to make connections between events. This is the basis for success in society nowadays. Intelligence and the ability to learn are two of the most important factors for doing well. 

Looking at some seriously awesome male characters in our culture reveals that the modern man needs to attain success in both of these categories. James Bond, Jason Bourne, Batman/Bruce Wayne, Iron Man/Tony Stark (really, any superhero), Maximus from Gladiator, Liam Neeson’s character in anything,  etc. These men are the ideal alpha males that many of us strive to become. The mix of intelligence and the physical ability to keep safe are one hell of an attractive combination.

So lets get working