the same ppl who criticize rap for being misogynistic will say eminem is their favorite rapper lol he’s easily more misogynistic than 99% of black rappers, essentially proving their criticisms are based in racism

Interesting how we’re always hearing how shameful and irresponsible it is to be a teen mom.

But we never hear the same messages directed at teen dads.

Or even the words “teen dad”.

It’s almost like society demonizes women’s sexuality and sexual choices while absolving men of all sexual responsibility and judgement.

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(Part 2) TRIGGER WARNING …

So, by now you have all heard of 22 year old Elliot Rodger who went on a killing spree in Isla Vista, a community in Santa Barbara, California. One Friday night, Elliot shot and killed 7 people, including himself, close to the University of California Santa Barbara campus.

Prior to his violent shooting rampage, Elliot recorded a video titled, Day of Retribution in which he states, “college is the time when everyone experiences those things such as sex and fun and pleasure. In those years I’ve had to rot in in loneliness, it’s not fair.” and “you girls have never been attracted to me, I don’t know why you girls aren’t attracted to me, but I will punish you all for it”.

About a month ago, after seeing some of Elliot’s YouTube videos, his family contacted authorities. Law Enforcement interviewed Elliot and said they found him to be a ‘perfectly polite, kind and wonderful human’ and took no further action.

Now we have media outlets labeling Elliot as a “mad man”, “spoiled brat”, “misunderstood”, “good human” etc and continuing to file this mass murder under mental health.

Understand that no one is saying that he did not suffer from mental illness, I’m sure he does. But we CANNOT ignore the fact that this mass killing was rooted in his hate of women (misogyny) and inability to properly deal with rejection. There is much to unpack about this incident, how it was handled and how it will be portrayed in the media, but for now I’ll post some tweets from those of us responding to the shooting on twitter.

For more info about the shooting: http://bit.ly/1mjerdo

Elliot Rodgers, Day of Retribution video: http://youtu.be/FWWGtee14pA

Elliot was also racist: http://bit.ly/1h0BniC

Three more bodies found at Elliot’s apartment: http://bit.ly/RnzYWP

Elliot Rodgers 140 page manifesto, My Twisted World: http://bit.ly/1nGaWwX

Teachers are often unaware of the gender distribution of talk in their classrooms. They usually consider that they give equal amounts of attention to girls and boys, and it is only when they make a tape recording that they realize that boys are dominating the interactions. Dale Spender, an Australian feminist who has been a strong advocate of female rights in this area, noted that teachers who tried to restore the balance by deliberately ‘favouring’ the girls were astounded to find that despite their efforts they continued to devote more time to the boys in their classrooms. Another study reported that a male science teacher who managed to create an atmosphere in which girls and boys contributed more equally to discussion felt that he was devoting 90 per cent of his attention to the girls. And so did his male pupils. They complained vociferously that the girls were getting too much talking time.

In other public contexts, too, such as seminars and debates, when women and men are deliberately given an equal amount of the highly valued talking time, there is often a perception that they are getting more than their fair share. Dale Spender explains this as follows:

“The talkativeness of women has been gauged in comparison not with men but with silence. Women have not been judged on the grounds of whether they talk more than men, but of whether they talk more than silent women.”

In other words, if women talk at all, this may be perceived as ‘too much’ by men who expect them to provide a silent, decorative background in many social contexts.

youtube

This is the video made by the UCSB shooter, explaining why he chose to murder women in retaliation for being romantically rejected.

ETA: I am seeing some bloggers say we shouldn’t be sharing this video because it gives this guy attention.  Firstly, he’s dead now, so it really doesn’t matter if we ignore him or not.  Secondly, I think it’s VITALLY important that women are able to witness the type of attitude and thinking of someone who would commit such an atrocity.  Watching this video could help individuals identify red flags in potentially violent men in the future.  Watching this video can help us recognize the difference between an annoying, romantically-spurned dude and a man with a level of entitlement that creates a desire for vengeance.  That is why I’m sharing this video.  Because we need to know the attitude of men out there (and, like it’s been noted in articles about this case, this guy is NOT ALONE in his thinking.  He belonged to several webforums where he expressed these views among men with the same beliefs and is now being lauded by them as a hero.)  This is a video that needs to be seen, for our safety.

TW for misogyny and death threats

At the age of 10, I took a pledge at my church alongside a group of other girls to remain a virgin until marriage. Yes, you read that right — I was 10 years old.

The church taught me that sex was for married people. Extramarital sex was sinful and dirty and I would go to Hell if I did it. I learned that as a girl, I had a responsibility to my future husband to remain pure for him. It was entirely possible that my future husband wouldn’t remain pure for me, because he didn’t have that same responsibility, according to the Bible. And of course, because I was a Christian, I would forgive him for his past transgressions and fully give myself to him, body and soul.  

 

Once I got married, it would be my duty to fulfill my husband’s sexual needs. I was told over and over again, so many times I lost count, that if I remained pure, my marriage would be blessed by God and if I didn’t that it would fall apart and end in tragic divorce.

It became my entire identity by the time I hit my teen years. When I met my then boyfriend-now husband, I told him right away that I was saving myself for marriage and he was fine with that because it was my body, my choice and he loved me.

 

We were together for six years before we got married. Any time we did anything remotely sexual, guilt overwhelmed me. I wondered where the line was because I was terrified to cross it. Was he allowed to touch my breasts? Could we look at each other naked? I didn’t know what was considered sexual enough to condemn my future marriage and send me straight to Hell.

[Click the link to read more]

Really, really strong piece by Laurie;

The ideology behind these attacks - and there is ideology - is simple. Women owe men. Women, as a class, as a sex, owe men sex, love, attention, “adoration”, in Rodger’s words. We owe them respect and obedience, and our refusal to give it to them is to blame for their anger, their violence - stupid sluts get what they deserve. Most of all, there is an overpowering sense of rage and entitlement: the conviction that men have been denied a birthright of easy power. 

Capitalism commodifies that rage, monetises it, disseminates it through handbooks and forums and crass mainstream pornography. It does not occur to these men that women might have experienced these very human things, too, because it does not occur to them that women are human, not really. Women are prizes to be caught and used or hags to be harassed or, occassionally, both.

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