I think it’s really cute that we can portray ourselves
However the hell we like nowadays
That’s lucky for you
I doubt anyone would like you very fucking much
If they got to know you the way I did
Let’s make something abundantly fucking clear
I just tore a hole in my bed sheets so that I would not tear one in your neck
And for the record
You’re welcome
That was me being generous
I screamed into my dirty laundry
I figured it was a cleaner luxury
Than the filthy rotten excuse of comfort you gave me
Let’s just say I don’t take it very fucking nicely
When somebody fucks with my body or my mind
Like it’s a reusable vomit bag that they can repeatedly pour their guts out into
Contrary to popular belief
I didn’t come screaming into this world as a dartboard for your issues
Even though I can take a fucking hit
And I wouldn’t mind being provoked by you one more time
I just don’t need another reason to be injured
I’m already at risk for bleeding out from the incisions that other lovers have graced me with
I’ve got prosthetic veins and mechanical tear ducts
From all the blood and tears I’ve spent trying to buy the love of men like you
Come here, I’m going to put my hands around your throat for a few minutes
I want to give you a taste of what it is like to choke on the people you trust
After that I’ll call you over to my place and fuck you with the lights off
And scream other men’s names while I ride you like an animal
I’d hope you’d throw me off of you and tell me to leave the room
I’d then know you felt my rage
It doesn’t feel very good to be treated like an option, does it baby
I’m just giving you a taste of your own callous, bittersweet treatment
Without the pleasantries that you so “courteously” gave me
“It’s not you, it’s me,”
“Nobody’s gonna be that somebody, I just need to walk alone,”
Then next day you had the audacity to blow up my fucking phone
You must have thought that was so kind of you
Telling me how it was
Maybe you forgot the fact that you took a few months, first, to fuck my life up
I must admit I was an idiot to have come to your rescue
After this tragic plot twist
But since I’m awake at 3:00 in the morning and the anger persists
Just shut your stupid mouth for a minute and let me fucking say this:
You were petrified at finding me on our very last night
With blood beading down my limbs from a rusty pocketknife
The red all over your sheets sure wasn’t a pretty sight
And as for the pain you put me through
I’m sure I’ll get over it in someway
But in the mean time I’ll leave this memo
As a reminder of that day:
If you think you can touch me again
I want you to think this through
If I can hurt myself that badly
Imagine what I could do to you.
—  Ashley McLachlin, It’s 3:00 A.M. & I’m Still Not Asleep

It seems to me like everyone’s in the market to find someone they can use. To wipe away their tears and use to feel better about themselves. I’m sick and tired of being the little rag doll used for temporary amusement when no one else is there, because I am the reliable friend, the one who’ll make sure everyone is okay even when I’m falling apart. I’m sick and tired of never being good enough and being cast to the side. I am not a rag doll, I am a person, I have feelings. I don’t think people realize how their actions affect those around them and I’m getting rid of those people in my life and making room for better friends, and for myself. I’m done.




#静岡 #古着 #レディース古着 #古着屋chubbyeight #chubbyeight #vintage #antique #usedclothing #used #jpn #Shizuoka #vintageboutique #全力で顔のパーツを真ん中に集約させる #今日のチャンピオン #やっぱりな #さすが私の相方 (古着屋chubby×eight)

I’m putting everyone else first, constantly. I’m starting to wonder if anyone will put me first…ever. It feels like I’m not enough, or not worth enough to be put first..Maybe I am.

Maybe I am the worthless piece I thought I was.

It’s funny, that realization doesn’t hurt as much as I thought it would. I guess I accepted it a long time ago.


#静岡 #古着 #レディース古着 #古着屋chubbyeight #chubbyeight #vintage #antique #usedclothing #used #jpn #Shizuoka #vintageboutique #ce購入者スナップ (古着屋chubby×eight)

Don’t promise to have someones back if its just a lie. It was us against the world until you left me for dead when you saw better things.

You don’t possess loyalty. As long as it’s for you you’re happy.

Hand in Mine, Into Your Icy Blues

read it on the AO3 at http://ift.tt/1KmIOKL

by sundrowned

Gerard is the captain of the hockey team and his overbearing father is the coach. When a new boy named Frank joins the team, Gerard has to decide weather to follow his father’s orders to stay away from the boy or choose his own path.

Words: 28006, Chapters: 1/1, Language: English

read it on the AO3 at http://ift.tt/1KmIOKL
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