SPOILERS for Six Feet Under’s 5.12 - ‘Everyone’s Waiting’.
What you’ll need: A pop song playing in the background, some tissues and a Prius.
As seen in the final montage (again: spoiler!), the fates of the main characters (with further spoilers in the captions!):
This is sad. But at least she doesn’t have to worry about her pot roasts.
Ruth’s best quote: “You want me to complain? Alright then. Fuck this. Fuck you. Fuck all of you and your sniveling self pity, and fuck all your lousy parents. Fuck my lousy parents while we’re at it. Fuck my selfish, bohemian sister and her fucking bliss. Fuck my legless grandmother. Fuck my dead husband, and my lousy children with their nasty little secrets.” (2.3 - 'The Plan’.)
Keith was the only one who got shot. This is the montage’s only blemish.
Keith’s best quote: “You’re in my will, I’m in yours. We basically are married even if the law refuses to recognize it. But then again, I refuse to recognise most of the Bush administration, so I guess it all evens out.” (4.10 - 'The Black Forest’.)
If he said he saw Keith, I believe him. “It was just so absurd. This isn’t really surprising, but I looked like my grandfather.” - Michael C. Hall in the Vulture’s recent Oral History.
David’s best quote: “I felt so free for a week. But then, all of a sudden, within days I went from 'Yay, I’m independent’ to 'Holy fuck, I’m gonna die alone.’" (3.13 - 'I’m Sorry, I’m Lost’.)
This is the spookiest one on re-watch. Notice how he checked his arm before falling. He got a Narm! Nate didn’t get to go on a cruise ship, though.
Rico’s best quote: (of a body) ”This one won’t stop smiling. Wish I knew what the fuck was so funny!“ (4.3 - 'Parallel Play’.)
Cause of death: Billy Chenowith.
Brenda’s best quote: (brace yourself) ”You know what I find interesting? If you lose a spouse, you’re called a widow or a widower. If you’re a child and you lose your parents, then you’re an orphan. But what’s the word to describe a parent who loses a child? I guess that’s just too fucking awful to even have a name.“ (1.9 - 'Life’s Too Short’.)
This is where the sweetness officially overcomes the bitterness. 102 years old! Russell probably didn’t last that long. Well done, Claire Fisher. What a hero.
Claire’s best quote: ”I wish that just once people wouldn’t act like the clichés that they are.“ That’s so Claire. She’s the only person who’s allowed to say that, to be honest. (1.3 - 'The Foot’.)