The pictures from the Elementary holiday party (at bottom) reminded me of this post - http://nairobiwonders.tumblr.com/post/87499666319/ohkate-tickatocka-elementary-a-study-in and prompted this little fic:
Joan and Sherlock were escorted into Captain Gregson’s office by two uniformed officers. Gregson looked both of them up and down and shook his head. “What the hell were you two thinking?”
Neither Sherlock or Joan would look at him. Sherlock stood in his suit jacket, shirt tails untucked and shirt collar unbuttoned, with what appeared to be a red Santa Claus hat hanging out of his pocket. Watson wore Sherlock’s pea coat and not much else it would appear besides fishnet stockings and stilettos.
"Were you drunk? Or drugged?"
"No. We are both very much sober," she murmured. Joan hugged the jacket a little tighter around her and shot Sherlock a sideways glance. He caught her eye and looked away. "
Gregson continued, he read from the report in front of him, “You were seen leaving the precinct holiday party at approximately ten p.m. wearing a ship’s captain’s hat and a Santa hat.” He looked to them for confirmation. Neither said a word. “Next thing we know is you were picked up by Officers Lopez and Smitty for disturbing the peace, indecent exposure and brawling … At a strip club? Joan? Would you care to elaborate?
As she once again moved to tighten Sherlock’s coat around her small frame, a white captain’s hat slipped out and hit the floor at her feet. Joan pretended not to notice and focused uncomfortably on a spot on the wall behind Gregson’s shoulder.
"I see …" Gregson shook his head and turned to Sherlock. "You have anything to say for yourself? I’m going to assume some how or other you’re responsible. Joan would never …"
Watson spoke up. “I’m responsible.” She took a breath and rushed through an abbreviated explanation, hoping if she spoke fast enough it wouldn’t be as embarrassing. “I was wearing the hat and we passed a strip club on the way to the subway and they were having an amateur night and Sherlock made a comment of some sort saying there’s something I could never do, saying I was too uhm … Victorian, prudish … His usual set of digs about my …”
Sherlock shot her a look, “I didn’t mean for you to run in there and take center stage …”
Gregson’s eyebrows raised, “Let her finish.”
"Next thing you know I’ve changed into this outfit, and fishnets and I’m on stage…"
Sherlock piped in, “She was very good at uhm, …. She performed admirably.” He looked at her with pride in his eyes and she suppressed a smile.
"How did this get to be a brawl?" Gregson was trying not to picture Joan’s performance.
"Well, I got silly and went over and kind of pretended to give Sherlock a lap dance …"
"Pretended, huh?" Gregson sounded skeptical.
"We were goofing around … It’s been a rough year for us …. We were just having fun for once…. " Joan’s voice got weaker.
Sherlock picked up the story, “Watson looked very uh … becoming and I took out my phone and took a photo or two. We were distracted and that’s when this huge ass of a man reached over and grabbed at Watson in a most inappropriate manner, exposing her uhm … Anyway I got angry and punched him. The idiot’s friend came to his defense, grabbed me from behind and ..”
"I broke a chair across his back." She looked at Gregson almost defiantly. "He was strangling Sherlock, I had to do something."
"It becomes a bit of a blur after that, fights broke out between several other patrons … I was in the process of giving Watson my jacket as she was still exposed, when the officers came in."
Gregson wiped at his face and sighed, “Why can’t you two stay out of trouble? This is the second time in the span of six months you’ve been brought in.”
"That whole ice cream business shouldn’t count against us. Charges were dropped." Sherlock spoke and Watson nodded her head in agreement.
"No one wants to press charges here either and since no one was really hurt … I guess you’re free to go." The captain looked at them like a disappointed father. "May I suggest that if you engage in this sort of behavior in the future, you do it in the privacy of your own home."
"Thank you, Captain." Sherlock turned to Joan, "What say we go home Watson?"
She caught the look in his eyes. “Yes. Let’s.” Joan responded and holding the jacket tight around her, she bent down to pick up the hat at her feet before turning to leave the office.