mine(7)

I thought love was supposed to leave you breathless from happiness, but right now I swear, I’m barely getting oxygen and it’s not at all because I’m happy.
—  I never meant to love you, but it happened, and now I feel like I’m dying.
Nothing hurts more than loving without receiving love in return. I would’ve gave you the world. Laughing and crying until it hurt every single night. Watching reruns of our favorite show, and you blessing my ears with music I would’ve never discovered on my own. I’ll never understand. You would’ve never had to sleep alone again if you just let me in. I spent endless fucking needs tossing and turning asking myself what’s wrong with me? How come I’m never good enough? It’s painful to accept (not that I have) that I am not what you want.

Fuck this shit. I tried putting coherent sentences together but WHY? Nothing makes sense. You are cruel and unfair. I waited days, weeks, months, years for you to want me and yet you still can’t let me in. No, I do not want to smoke with you. I want to punch you, kiss you, fuck you, love you but most importantly, forget you. You have made me feel so special at times, yet so broken and unwanted at others. I know the only cure is to move on. But how? Who the fuck else will talk to me until 4 am and make me playlist and tell me I’m an amazing girl? How am I supposed to move on when you’re the one I think of when I wake up and the one who haunts my sleep from the minute I pull up the covers. I hate you.
—  Unknown