The first time he saw me in my dress. Getting him to smile in picture is the HARDEST thing on Earth and the fact that you can see his smile from the side of his face makes my heart melt. I’ve never had someone look at me that way before in my life.

So my baby is on his FTX training which means no contact for 4 days :( I know it doesn’t seem like much but to go from speaking every day for 6 weeks to no contact at all is difficult. I just feel like I’m making a big deal out of nothing. I love that man more than words could ever describe. He is literally the center of my universe. I’d honestly rather die than be without him. The next few days are going to be so difficult. Anyone have any tips for coping?

One day more...

Tomorrow we leave our house. Today I am doing okay. Yesterday was full-on panic mode. I’m fine during the day when I can keep busy or distract myself but at night I get very anxious, it’s hard to breathe or relax, and I just become paralyzed with fright. I’m usually pretty good at catastrophizing but this time it’s more like shock, all I think is “holy shit” over and over.

People keep telling me they’d never be able to move overseas or asking how I do it, but the truth is I don’t have a choice. We had a small window of choice where we could move to Germany or get out of the Air Force, but once we chose Germany it is what it is. I focus as hard as I fucking can on the positives and occasionally get overwhelmed by all the unknowns. I let myself freak out (and stress poop) then I get my shit together (get it?) and press on.

I love my bed and I love my “stuff” and I get super stressed by travel. As of tomorrow we’ll be homeless for 2-3 months. We’ll be staying at a friend’s for 3 nights, then at my sister’s for 2.5 weeks, to my aunt’s for 2 nights, back to the friend’s for 2 nights, then a hotel in Germany and eventually our new (Empty) apartment in Germany. Pretty sure I’ll be sick the entire time.

But I can do this. I will do this. I have to do this.

I need more chocolate.

…a relationship is two people. Not two people and everyone who has an opinion.
— 

thatsumgoodbeth

God Bless this woman. It can’t be said any better then that.

One day this will all be worth it.
One day this will all be worth it.
One day this will all be worth it.
One day this will all be worth it.
One day this will all be worth it.
One day this will all be worth it.
One day this will all be worth it.
One day this will all be worth it.
One day this will all be worth it.
One day this will all be worth it.
One day this will all be worth it.
One day this will all be worth it.
One day this will all be worth it.
One day this will all be worth it.
One day this will all be worth it.
One day this will all be worth it.
One day this will all be worth it.
One day this will all be worth it.
One day this will all be worth it.
One day this will all be worth it.
One day this will all be worth it.
One day this will all be worth it.
One day this will all be worth it.
One day this will all be worth it.
One day this will all be worth it.
One day this will all be worth it.
One day this will all be worth it.
One day this will all be worth it.
One day this will all be worth it.
One day this will all be worth it.

6

The jar is finally complete!

For our 2 year anniversary, I put together a jar filled with 365 different colored notes with different things written on them.

Blue is songs that remind me of him.
Pink is date ideas.
Orange is prayer requests.
Yellow is reasons why I love him.
Green is scriptures to get him through the day.

I’m super excited to send it to him and I really hope he likes it.

Long Distance Relationships

They are exhausting 
They are hard
You get used to being lonely
Your used to only seeing their face through Skype
You get used to airport reunions and goodbyes
Your used to dropping a ton of money just to see them for a few days
It’s easier to get frustrated with each other 
You end up hating the distance

But, you learn to appreciate the distance. I believe that all relationships who can get through long distance, are true and can face anything. You learn to appreciate the time you do get to spend together, you fall in love with the same pictures months apart. Trust is a necessity between the two people. You learn how to make choices and get through arguments together even being miles apart. While I have resented the distance that has pulled us apart for the last three years, I also know it has built the wonderful and strong relationship we have today. While, I’m excited to finally close the distance between us I know that a part of me will miss it.