One day more...
Tomorrow we leave our house. Today I am doing okay. Yesterday was full-on panic mode. I’m fine during the day when I can keep busy or distract myself but at night I get very anxious, it’s hard to breathe or relax, and I just become paralyzed with fright. I’m usually pretty good at catastrophizing but this time it’s more like shock, all I think is “holy shit” over and over.
People keep telling me they’d never be able to move overseas or asking how I do it, but the truth is I don’t have a choice. We had a small window of choice where we could move to Germany or get out of the Air Force, but once we chose Germany it is what it is. I focus as hard as I fucking can on the positives and occasionally get overwhelmed by all the unknowns. I let myself freak out (and stress poop) then I get my shit together (get it?) and press on.
I love my bed and I love my “stuff” and I get super stressed by travel. As of tomorrow we’ll be homeless for 2-3 months. We’ll be staying at a friend’s for 3 nights, then at my sister’s for 2.5 weeks, to my aunt’s for 2 nights, back to the friend’s for 2 nights, then a hotel in Germany and eventually our new (Empty) apartment in Germany. Pretty sure I’ll be sick the entire time.
But I can do this. I will do this. I have to do this.
I need more chocolate.