Watch on

This will definitely be of interest to all the new yorkers on the list:

Also any fans of art and/or Craigslist’s Missed Connections section

Enjoy :)


Hello All (strangers and friends),

I am going to selfishly use you as a bank of people to discuss a few intimate questions with and hope our lack of knowing eachother will make it more honest/frank. I have been spending a lot of time lately thinking about the impact of first-loves and how that impact may linger and mold (or, at the very least, inform) every other relationship we have. I came across this intriguing paragraph by Klosterman (follow the link and it’s the first complete paragraph on that page and then it stops):

I’ve tried to have this conversation with close friends, but find that it’s hard to have an honest conversation since we’re trying to protect each other’s feelings. So when I ask them if they think our definition of love is defined by a revisionist-construction of an individual, I inevitably get a response that says “well _____ this”  or “I think you look at ____ like this…”

So I want to use you all, who cannot blur your answers with personal context, and ask this question:

Do we truly love a template—one created in our own mind with perhaps just a foundation in an individual? Or is this a cynical viewpoint? One that says we don’t actually fall in love with people we meet after our first love, but rather fall in love with how much they fill the love as defined by our original love?

Perhaps this is not the purpose of MRYR, but I’d love to hear what you think. And at the very least, think this article is worth a read.

Happy Carnival,

Hello MRYRers,

I’m going to make a big assumption that this group consists largely of or reaching child-bearing and child-rearing age.  I thought this article in the New Yorker would be a good catalyst for discussion or thought about different ways to raise children.  The article is a bit general, but poses some theories and anecdotes on how America has become a country of “adultescents.” 

It’s too overwhelming to discuss root causes for the “spoiled generation”, so instead I think it would be interesting to hear about our own experiences and see if there are trends.  What are important lessons you learned from your parents or influencing adults that you would want to pass on to your children? How did they teach it to you?

I suppose the most important lesson my parents taught me was to be independent and self-sufficient.  And they taught me by being generally absent (especially emotionally) in my youth and by example.  Now, I don’t think I want to teach my own kids that way, but I think they are important characteristics to pass on. Another important lesson was to have a world-view and that came from going on family trips and getting outside of the bubble we lived in.  That’s a tradition I will definitely continue.

Hope all is well on your piece of the pie.



[Apologies, these are old overdue posts - Apr]

I think most people on this list either dislike their jobs or are students (sorry it’s Monday, peak cynicism time). For the former category, here’s a reminder that it could always be worse:

Am feeling quite guilty now about ordering so much stuff online when I lived in the US.

(I’m a little behind on the MRYR emails, so this might have been posted before… if so, sorry!)


[Apologies, these are old overdue posts - Apr 23rd]

Received this note from another (almost as amazing) listserve and thought you’d all be interested.


Dear Fellow Abolitionists,

This morning in North Carolina’s first test case of its Racial Justice Act, Judge Gregory Weeks ruled that death row prisoner Marcus Robinson clearly demonstrated that racial bias had influenced his death sentence. This is a truly historic moment.

Today’s decision marks a new day for justice in North Carolina, where the legal system acknowledges the unsavory role that race plays in the decision to seek the death penalty, against whom, and for what crimes. It respects the rights of persons of all races to serve on juries.

The decision is a significant step in the right direction. And, it will save many lives. With this ruling, North Carolina continues its leading role as a state willing to honestly and fairly examine the affect of race in its criminal justice system.

Read more in initial news stories here, and here, and there is this analysis on the Huffington Post. You can watch video from the ruling here. Download the ruling and read it for yourself, here.

This decision is rather timely, especially in light of Sunday’s 25th anniversary of the McCleskey decision, and just days after the release of a new study from Duke University demonstrating the greater likelihood of all-white juries to convict defendants of color.

In McCleskey, the U.S. Supreme Court declined to provide relief from a demonstrated pattern of racial bias in death sentencing. Instead the Court said that it was up to the legislature to address the concern as a matter of public policy. In enacting the Racial Justice Act, the North Carolina General Assembly and Governor Perdue have done that, making it clear that the state of North Carolina rejects the influence of race discrimination in the administration of the death penalty.

Today’s decision is a testament to the fact that we must not allow capital punishment to force us to abandon our basic commitment to fairness. With Sunday’s anniversary of McCleskey, the juxtaposition of all of this is sweet.

The National Coalition to Abolish the Death Penalty congratulates the broad coalition of North Carolinians who have worked so hard for this day, including the Legislative Black Caucus, the extraordinary legal team, grassroots organizers and leaders from a variety of organizations, clergy and communities of faith, and others. It has been an incredible and inspiring effort. Today you have struck a major blow for justice. Thank you!

[Apologies, these are old overdue posts - Apr 1st]

#NationalPoetryMonth Thread!


1.     A classic: 

since feeling is first

e.e. cummings 

since feeling is first

who pays any attention

to the syntax of things

will never wholly kiss you;

wholly to be a fool

while Spring is in the world

my blood approves,

and kisses are a better fate

than wisdom

lady i swear by all flowers. Don’t cry

—the best gesture of my brain is less than

your eyelids’ flutter which says

we are for each other: then

laugh, leaning back in my arms

for life’s not a paragraph

And death i think is no parenthesis

2.     This one is more beautiful in Spanish, but I’ll give the English translation as well. 

Extracto de Proverbios y cantares (XXIX)

Antonio Machado

Caminante, son tus huellas

el camino y nada más;

Caminante, no hay camino,

se hace camino al andar.

Al andar se hace el camino,

y al volver la vista atrás

se ve la senda que nunca

se ha de volver a pisar.

Caminante no hay camino

sino estelas en la mar.

English (very rough translation):

Traveler, the path is made

by your passage, and nothing more;

Traveler, there is no road,

for it is made as you journey.

By walking you make the way,

and turning, you look back to see

a path which you will never tread again.

Traveler, there is no roadway,

only foam trails on the sea.


[Apologies, these are old overdue posts - Apr 1st]

#NationalPoetryMonth Thread!


Some things I wanted to say to you
  by Stephen Dunn

if the horse that you ride

is blind it’s good

that it also be slow,

and please stroke it

a hundred more times than you would

the powerful dazzling one.

to be generous is one thing,

but there’s a clerk in some of us,

quick to say yes.

worry about the command

in the suggestion.

worry about smiles, and those men

whose business is business.

there are joys and enigmas

of an evening alone

to appreciate.

there are always the simple events

of your life

that you might try to convert

into legend.

did you know

a good dog in your house

can make you more thoughtful,

even more moral?

and sex without conversation,

sex that’s erotic or sleepy…

oh don’t let anybody tell you

there’s a wrong way to have it.

tell your lovers the world

robs us is so many ways

that a caress is your way

of taking something back.

tell the dogs and the horses

you love them more than cars.

speak to everything

would be my advice.



[Apologies, these are old overdue posts - Apr 1st]

#NationalPoetryMonth Thread!


Hi All,


April is National Poetry month - the month where we celebrate small works that only a small portion of the population reads and an even smaller portion understands.



So here is my request: since poetry month is coming up, I’d love to read some of our (mry)readers’ favorite poems of right now. Doesn’t have to be heavy, pretensious, or by someone who has a famous book out.


I just want to spend april reading interesting poetry that a great group of people have already selected for me.


Thats the first part of my request, the second is this: if you are a soon to be first time sender, poetry month would be a great way to get your feet wet and send out something to the whole list. So go get funky, and reply all.


Happy almost april — you have a couple days to think about this. But start feel free to start sending out whenever.


Watch on

Also, on an unrelated note, for fans (or haters) or Lana del Rey + the Hunger Games:

The best line: “A Pita is a pouch of bread but that’s his name”


One more - the not so fun realities of our TMI world:

“Honestly, I’m more worried about people finding out stuff about me,” said Jill Soloway, a comedian and TV writer and producer. “A lot of times I’ll post things like, ‘Let’s organize a hipster Jewish Shabbat!’ and then I think, what if business people think I’m this religious Jewish person now? Something that seems fun and silly to me might seem really weird to a co-worker.”

Hi MRYR’ers!

Since tomorrow is the anniversary of my favourite artist’s death I thought I would share with the group an article about his final record, Donuts, as well as 4 tribute podcasts (they are free on website, chill SOPA)…

RIP Jay Dill a.k.a Jay Dee a.k.a James Dewitt Yancey!

The best producer there ever was…


Thank You JD! VOLUME 1

Thank You JD! VOLUME 2



Thank You JD! VOLUME 3



Thank You JD! VOLUME 4





Hi all!

Here’s an article about a lawsuit against some law schools for inflating post-graduation hiring rates.  As a current law student, I can confirm that the job market is hellish and, from what I hear, schools have a lot to worry about because their reporting practices (which are very influenced by the U.S. News & World Report) are probably questionable, to say the least.  And not just at lower tier schools.  It’s an interesting and quick read.