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SIDESHOW: Sometimes there are other ideas that I think would be awesome. So think of these as guest blog entries from other sections of my brain.

This is from a Tumblr that doesn’t exist called When Harry Met Sally Mae. All captions are stats as reported by US News, Forbes, and Info Wars.   I know. I’m sad too. 

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It’s coming on Christmas, they’re cutting down trees. Do you know that Joni Mitchell song? I wish I had a river I could skate away on. Such a sad song. And not really about Christmas at all but I was thinking about it tonight as I was decorating my Christmas tree. Unwrapping funky ornaments made of Popsicle sticks and missing my mother so much I almost couldn’t breathe. I always miss my mother at Christmas but somehow it is worse this year since I need some advice from her. I need her to make me some cocoa and tell me that everything that’s going badly in my life will sort itself out.