Look, I am not saying I shot the fucking meteor out of the sky. All I am saying is that I just happened to be hunting in Siberia when the meteor entered Russian airspace. And that I shot the fucking meteor out of the sky.

“Now, who you sit with here in the Russian Federation is crucial, because you’ve got everybody there.

You got your underage-looking tech nerds,


socially awkward diplomats,

batshit oligarchs,

Chechen douchebags,

cool Chechens,

chess nerd economists,

politically unfriendly hotties,

annoying opposition people on LiveJournal,

annoying opposition people in jail,

desperate wannabes,

creepy church guys,

Sexually active performance artists, 

the greatest people you will ever meet,

and the worst.”

I hope you have been good little boys and girls this year. Oh, you have been good, have you? That is not what my informants have been telling me! Ahahaha, I am just kidding. I like to kid. Best wishes for a happy holidays. Love, The Boss.