When I do something, I’m always serious about it, like there has to be a purpose or meaning behind it. I won’t just do something for the sake of it or whatever, there has to be a reason why.
Like for example, I’m in medical school because I really want to become a doctor and help people. I know it’s such a cliche but in the real world or at least my world, it’s not a cliche as I hoped it would be. When I ask people why they’re in medical school or why they want to become a doctor, they’d say, “because I don’t want a desk job”, “I’m just trying it out”, “I don’t want to work yet so I’m still studying”, “I don’t really know”, “my college degree is useless”, “because my parents are doctors”, “I’m just copying my elder sibling”. Those were the answers that I got and I’m not really satisfied with that, because I wanted something deeper, like soul wrenching deep. Okay, maybe not that deep but you get my point.
Maybe I’m not just acquainted with the right people. I want to be surrounded with people who are PASSIONATE about what they’re doing. And like together, we’ll change the world, no matter how little. I want to be surrounded with people who will fuel my passion even more and who will make me become a better version of myself. I want to be surrounded with people who are hardworking and strives to have a high grade. (I know a grade is just a grade, like in the real world it won’t matter, but the VALUE of at least trying to achieve to become the best is what matters to me.) It’s not the grade, it’s the personality, the attitude, the stubborn persistence of someone because they want to be the best doctor so they can help people better.
I don’t really know, because I feel like the atmosphere and the environment I’m in is where people brag about how they didn’t study, or how lazy they are, or how they procrastinated too much. I know, I do that too, but I won’t brag about it. It’s really not something to brag about. Why can’t just people admit that they studied and worked hard. It’s not shameful, it’s something to look upon. And I feel as if medical school for others is college part 2, where you party and drink, and smoke weed. For me, it’s a time to be serious. I know we need to have fun too, but by serious, I mean it’s the time for you to show what you’ve got, because this isn’t a game, you have to learn, you have to memorize, you have to know things, so you can help people. It’s not something you should be lazy about. This is the time to build your personality, to build your persistence, to build yourself to become stronger, to manage your weak points, to know yourself in tough times because there will be A LOT of those.
Maybe it’s my INFJ talking, maybe I should stop demanding people to have a better reason why. I’m not saying I have the best reason why. All I want is some enthusiasm, some passion, like I want to see the sparks in their eyes that they glow with so much energy even in the most stressful days. That’s what I want to see. Emotions and attitudes of others are highly infectious, so you’ve got to be careful who you spend your time with. Don’t lose your passion just because the people around you aren’t as enthusiastic as you are.
(I’m sorry if this was long, it’s just something that bothers me quite a lot during my first year because I thought I’d be surrounded with like minded individuals who are fueled with passion and purpose. I might have sounded judgmental but that’s just how I feel, I’m not saying I’m 100% right. Maybe I’m just being too serious, but then again I won’t lower my standards, because that’s just who I am.)