i love how cough syrup comes with the little measuring spoon

like im ever gonna use that mother fucker

ive just drank the shit outta the bottle since i was hella little lolol

needless to say i probably just drank far too much as usual and i’m fighting to keep my eyes open

So I started taking a new medication because my doctor was all like yeah this will help so I was like cool. Went and researched it a little more yesterday and found out it’s an antipsychotic, widely used for bipolar disorder and schizophrenia. I mean it’s also used for just extreme depression, but still. Now I feel like my mother. It also makes me sooooooooo tired and dazed. Like I have a really slow reaction time. The new girl in my office is very chatty and she keeps saying things to me then I just stare at her for a few seconds while I process what she said, then I answer. She thinks I’m crazy. Which apparently I am. But seriously, the drowsiness is not just drowsiness. It’s I-could-fucking-fall-asleep-standing-up-ness. Yesterday was awful. I ate like 12 candy bars and had a diet coke and walked around a bunch and I still just wanted to sleep forever. The side effect should go away soon, but holy crap I just want to be Sleeping Beauty right now. I fell asleep on the couch at 6 last night and I probably would have slept until the next morning if my dad hadn’t stopped by.

I’m tired of feeling so heavily medicated. So medicated, it feels like I should be confined to a hospital bed. But I’m still functioning in everyday life. Well…“functioning”. Being present at work and kind of doing stuff while trying to keep my eyes open. I actually took a nap on my break yesterday. I have NEVER done that because I think it’s creepy to nap in the break room. And usually I’d never be able to fall asleep for 15 minutes. But I definitely did. And I was not refreshed at all when I got up.

Now I’m going to go to the bathroom so I can just sit in the stall and close my eyes for a few minutes. It helps for like 5 minutes.

Just a quick note/word of warning.

After quite an interesting experience with a travel sickness tablet today, people should ignore whatever I’m saying.

In all honesty, I should be allowed on the internet tonight but shit happens. And so does an obsession with Tumblr.

I need to sleep this off.

the spirit may cause drowsiness
if you think of “mind” as synonymous with “spirit,”
and you become something that identifies with your mind
instead of the "suit of clothes” you wear.
alcohol may intensify this effect.

Instructions on Spironolactone
“Last Chance to Evacuate Planet Earth Before It Is Recycled” by Marshall Applewhite

Porcupine Tree