Masochism: a study

Hit me

Slap me

Punch me

Make me hurt

Give me pain 

Because 

sometimes I need to cry, 

but can’t

sometimes I need to scream, 

but don’t, 

sometimes I need to hurt, 

just so I can feel something. 

Take me away.

Take away my thoughts and feelings and decisions. 

Take away everything but the pain.

Reduce me to dust.

A handful of screams, and intolerable pain, and pain.

Pain. 

Pain. 

Pain.

I want nothing but pain in my mind.

I want it pounding, throbbing, slamming into my head 

I want you to shove it into my head. 

I need you to pummel it into me. 

I need you to choke me. 

Rid me of my breath and control my air. 

Remind me who is in charge. 

Pleas. Choke. Me.

I am a masochist.

Pain helps me

It helps me clear my thoughts, 

and reset my body.

The endorphins,

the blood rush and

the air rushing into my lungs and

capillaries is a beautiful thing. 

It has more effects than you can imagine. 

I need pain. 

I want pain.

I have to have pain.

Give. Me. Pain.

~A Masochist