• Juniper:The repair guy's coming in the morning to fix the washing machine.
  • Me:Neato.
  • J:He was actually really dismissive and condescending on the phone.
  • M:In like a misogyny way?
  • J:I think so.
  • M:NOT neato. Definitely not rad. I'll take care of it.
  • J:You'll...how?
  • M:I'll guy mode. He won't be shitty to another guy.
  • J:Honey I don't-
  • *****THE NEXT MORNING*****
  • Me:Howdy repair man!
  • Repair Man:Morning. You must be Juniper.
  • M:Uh.
  • RM:Okay sweetie where's the washing machine.
  • M:@_@ *Shows him the washing machine.*
  • RM:Probably just a clog in the pump. Women's panties and socks are so light you probably just lost some of that in there.
  • M:@_@!!!
  • *****Once He is Gone*****
  • Juniper:Well?
  • M:it wasnt a good plan

Apparently it’s not socially acceptable for a man to invite another man out just for coffee or to go out for a meal, in case it’s perceived as a date. Like it’s fine if you wanna go to the pub and drink beer and have a chat but make it non-alcoholic and suddenly you’re not straight anymore? You can go to the cinema together but ONLY if it’s an action movie. You guys can’t even just go shopping with each other. Oh masculinity, so fragile, so strange. 

I’m not scared of desperately uncool cultural reactionaries like Jack Thompson or anti-witchcraft Harry Potter burners. I’m scared of the people who do hold cultural power, who have the loud voice, who are, in fact, the cool kids, but think they’re embattled underdogs. I’m scared of the people who think that because disco was “taking over music” they had the right to “fight back” bullying and attacking disco performers and fans.

I’m scared of people who look at someone like Zoe Quinn, an individual who makes free indie games, or Anita Sarkeesian, an individual who makes free YouTube videos, and honestly think that these women are a powerful “corrupt” force taking away the freedom of the vast mob of angry young male gamers and the billion-dollar industry that endlessly caters to them, and that working to shut them up and drive them out somehow constitutes justice. The dominant demographic voice in some given fandom or scene feeling attacked by an influx of new, different fans and rallying the troops against “oppression” in reaction is not at all unique. It happens everywhere, all the time.

But let’s be honest: It’s usually guys doing it. Our various “culture wars” tend to boil down to one specific culture war, the one about men wanting to feel like Real Men and lashing out at the women who won’t let them. Whenever men feel like masculinity is under attack, men get dangerous. Because that’s exactly what masculinity teaches you to do, what masculinity is about. Defending yourself with disproportionate force against any loss of power? That’s what masculinity is.
The first act of violence that patriarchy demands of males is not violence toward women. Instead patriarchy demands of all males that they engage in acts of psychic self-mutilation, that they kill off the emotional parts of themselves. If an individual is not successful in emotionally crippling himself, he can count on patriarchal men to enact rituals of power that will assault his self-esteem.
—  bell hooks

7 positive phrases we should be teaching America’s boys about masculinity

Common phrases like “man up,” “be a man” and “suck it up” are all part of this rhetorical tradition. What we usually want to communicate with these phrases is that our boys should learn to be independent, responsible, honorable and capable. These are all qualities essential to becoming a respectable adult man, but they are poorly communicated with chauvinistic, ambiguous phrases like “grow a pair” that send dubious messages about binary gender characteristics and what defines being a man.

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There’s Something Absolutely Wrong With What We Do To Boys Before They Grow Into Men

Important Facts About being a Real Man:

  • All men are real men
  • Feminine and androgynous men are real men
  • Trans men are real men
  • Real manhood will not be lost or damaged by listening to women, learning from women, or working for women
  • Stringent requirements for being a real man: 1. be a man
  • Men who hurt people are real men, they have a problem but it isn’t being insufficiently real or manly
  • All men are real men
  • Except this one
  • image

  • Female celebrity:*goes everywhere with girlfriend, caught by paparazzi making out with gf on vacation*
  • Gossip media:This straight woman sure appreciates her girls' night out, doesn't she?
  • Male celebrity:*doesn't appear in public with a woman for a few days*
  • Gossip media:OMG closeted! Clearly he is struggling with his gay identity. Just come out, already!
Oftentimes when I am in a place occupied by butches and men, masculinity becomes a kind of currency. Butches start talking about how they’ve “fucked more girls” than the men, “gotten more pussy,” and are “better in bed.” Their sexual partners become objects rather than humans.

If there are women in the room, their objectification seems to be a bonding mechanism for the butches and men, laughing about who has the best ass, the best tits, who they’d fuck or not fuck. I can show a picture of my girlfriend to a man and know I will get instant respect from him based on her attractiveness. I know that because I’ve done it in the past, and that respect felt good to me, like my masculinity was confirmed by “the source.”

And that, my friends, is unbelievably fucked up.

My sister just posted this on her Facebook and literally 20 people like it and I can’t even fathom how dumb it is to measure a man’s worth by his ability to fire a weapon.

I’m not gonna open a can of worms about gun control and whether or not we need to allow guns, but I wonder what would happen to gun related crime in the US if we stopped considering guns the height of masculinity and stopped putting such pressure on boys to be masculine?


powderdoom I made a video showing how I use makeup to amplify masculinity in my face, as an extention of my reply to the ask you posted a few days ago.


How do you shave like a man?

saltysamgirl said:

1) I have one story I find interesting, kind of in response to all men who think that women/feminists should care more about discrimination against men. So my mother is a teacher in school, and she made a survey in her school, on kids 13-16 years old, about gender roles and gender discrimination in school. Some of the questions were about boys i.e. "Do you agree that boys should be taller and stronger than their girlfriends" or "Do you agree that boys shouldn't cry".

2) And guess which gender agreed more with statements like this? That’s right! Only 30% of girls agreed that boys shouldn’t be allowed to cry, against 70% of boys who thought that it’s true. So, men: it’s not women who limits you and set standards for masculinity. It’s patriarchy. If you’re really bothered by things like this, you should try to destroy this system, not feminist movement.

I put no stock in religion. By the word religion I have seen the lunacy of fanatics of every denomination be called the will of God. I have seen too much religion in the eyes of too many murderers. Holiness is in right action, and courage on behalf of those who cannot defend themselves, and goodness. What God desires is here
[points to head] and here [points to heart] and what you decide to do every day, you will be a good man - or not.
—  Hospitaller, 'Kingdom of Heaven'
Daytime male dress also changed. Nineteenth-century’s women’s fashions, dominated by the corset and bustle, accentuated the female’s bosom and backside. In short her sexuality was magnified, but at the same time men’s sexuality was hidden. Male fashions no longer drew attention to the legs and thighs. The tight breeches and stockings were replaced by the 1830s in England by looser fitting trousers. And the “full fall” of the breeches was replaced by the 1860s with the more discreet buttoned fly front. For formal occasions the middle-class male donned a black three-piece suit. For every day dress, drab grays, blues, and browns replaced lighter colors and coarser wools the finer fabrics. Recourse by men to corsets and cosmetics became a laughing matter. Swords were replaced by walking sticks; ostentatious jewelry by utilitarian watches and fobs. By the twentieth century, the only hints of color were found in the tie or cravat, which led the eye away from the genitals up to the man’s head. A glance at a portrait of Marx or Engels reminds us that even political radicals donned the new uniform of the bourgeoisie. The tone had been set by the American revolutionaries’ contempt for “Yankee Doodle Dandy” and the French sans-culottes of 1789, who attacked as reactionary and pretentious fops men who affected too much attention to their dress. In response the pose of the dandy was taken up by such decadent artists and bohemians as Baudelaire, Barbey d’Aurveilly, Wilde, Swinburne, and Beardsley who wished to parade their disdain for middle-class proprieties. The extent to which Western society sought to hide the male body was perhaps best evidenced in nineteenth-century artistic representations. Female nudes were found in libraries and town halls, representing everything from “Liberty” and “Electricity” to “Slavery” and “Morphine.” The nude male virtually disappeared from the painter’s canvas. Visitors to galleries could imagine a no more shocking idea than that of a naked man as a subject for artistic representation.
—  Angus McLaren, The Trials of Masculinity: Policing Sexual Boundaries