mary jane holland

6

I was in Amsterdam and I started writing and then I dyed my hair brown. Like literally out of nowhere I just was like ‘Freddie, let’s go, I just don’t wanna be blonde anymore. I just feel like the world owns my blonde-ness. And it’s not mine anymore and I don’t wanna feel owned. And I wanna go out today and I wanna have a good time and I don’t want anyone to know it’s me. I just need one night of just freedom. And I don’t wanna be wearing another fucking wig while I’m doing it’. So he dyed my hair and I went out and I just got super stoned and drank a bunch and we went out to my favourite sex clubs and strip clubs and had a great great time and all night I kept calling myself ‘Marry Jane Holland’ and everybody kept calling me ‘Mary Jane Holland’ so it became this alter ego of who I became when I was smoking weed. And it really became a source of comfort for me; that I could smoke and take something that would really help with my anxiety and help really bring me down from the pressures of being a star and.. whenever I smoke I really forget that I’m famous - and that’s maybe not a good thing *laughs* - but I really loved that. I really loved feeling just kind of like normal. Like I could go out and do whatever I want and I could be stupid or be dumb or be smart and be fun and it wouldn’t matter. So in this record I say ‘I think that I could be fine if I could be Mary Jane Holland tonight’ and it’s true. I would say to myself you know what, if I could just grab a toke and be a brunette I think I’d be ok. Just for like one night.