maron*

The Contract

The contract is sealed when the words below are spoken aloud for all to hear, your signature applied to the page in blood drawn from your finger, and the book placed on the hands of Mianite.

By signing my name on this page I swear to in all circumstances uphold the agendas for Mianite provided he acts in the interest of Ruxomar’s prosperity and that of the multiverse, these conditions being interpreted by the majority populace. I acknowledge that while Mianite’s requests are issued sparingly, he may call on me to perform acts of arduous nature. I swear to perform those acts in interest of building Ruxomar and surrounding realms a future free of plague, famine, and threats native or foreign. I understand that my own requests of Mianite will be answered in accordance with said interests. I agree to these conditions in unyielding loyalty to cosmos wellbeing.

It shall also be known that I am still a devout follower of the Lady Ianite and that this agreement shall be considered a strategic partnership as opposed to that of me being a “follower of Mianite” as Jericho and Foxx would be considered.

Also, Mianite commits to use all possible efforts available to him and any means necessary to revive the Lady Ianite so that she will once again live. He will also use best efforts to restore her to full God status.

The same will also be done for Dianite.

The majority populace will also be defined as a meeting of all of the vocal minds in Ruxomar who may decide if a request is in the interests of the realm.

Also, looting X to be added to the scythe.

Also add welfare after prosperity.

Also, if the council of vocal Ruxomar residents deems 3 requests to not be in the interests of the realm, this contract is void. (Completed)

READING AS SELF-HELP

I am surrounded by an empire of unread and partially read books. Titles like: The Denial of Death (read), A Thousand Plateaus (God, I tried), The Family (Manson phase), The Hero with a Thousand Faces (skimmed hard), Gravity’s Rainbow (nope), and The Illuminatus! Trilogy (of course). There are several bibles, The Aeneid, The Odyssey, The Anthology of American Poetry. I have Freud, Reich, Barthes, Fromm, Spinoza, Plato, Hunter S., DeLillo, Bangs, Benjamin, graphic novels, Hellblazer comics, beat poetry, cookbooks. 

I am not bragging. I am embarrassed. Most of the books I have are indicators of my insecurity. I really wanted to be an intellectual. I really wanted to understand Sartre. I thought that was what made people smart. I have tried to read Being and Nothingness no fewer than twenty times in my life. I really thought that every answer had to be in that book . Maybe it is. The truth is, I can’t read anything with any distance. **Every book is a self-help book to me. Just having them makes me feel better. I underline profusely but I don’t retain much. Reading is like a drug. When I am reading from these books it feels like I am thinking what is being read, and that gives me a rush. That is enough. I glean what I can. I finish some of the unfinished thoughts lingering around in my head by adding the thoughts of geniuses and I build from there.** There are bookmarks in most of the denser tomes at around page 20 to 40 because that was where I said, “I get it.” Then I put them back on the shelf. 

Terry Gross To Marc Maron: ‘Life Is Harder Than Radio’

Maron: You’ve mastered and defined something that is uniquely yours that has been done by many people for centuries probably and you set the standard for what an interview is and how to put one together on radio or anywhere.

Gross: Thank you.

Maron: And you know, you are what I think most people—you are home to most people when it comes to NPR, that your voice is more comforting than probably any voice in their lives, I would probably say.

Gross: That’s really nice of you to say.

Maron: And now I don’t know why I’m tearing up. Jesus Christ.

Gross: Can I just say something about you?

Maron: What?

Gross: I really, I just love your work so much and I’ve learned from listening to you in your podcast because you’re just so present, you’re so in the moment with people and you have such interesting taste. I love hearing you talk about the music that you love and your interest in [Jack] Kerouac and that you know who Herbert Huncke is, you know all this stuff and you don’t do it in a know-it-all way, you just kind of slip it in to get more out of them. I mean that in the best sense, that’s what an interviewer should do. And the other thing is, you’re no bullshit—you’re just no bullshit, you’re no bullshit in your comedy, you’re no bullshit when you’re talking to other people.

Maron: I don’t think you are either, Terry Gross.

Gross: And I just want to say, the reason why I was comfortable enough to tell you and everyone else here the things that I told you tonight is that I trust you and that you’re no bullshit and I couldn’t look you in the eye and not tell you the truth.

The Alliance

I am aware of my sister’s death, Sparklez, and I am also aware of your heartache. Accept my condolences. Allow me as well to assert that my vision for Ruxomar is the same vision Ianite cherished. At times my military arm has swung too far, but I have always acted from the intent to heal and protect. I promise to promote peace in Ruxomar just as I have for the past millennium. I ask you to make a promise as well, in exchange for powerful tools and a continued stream of direct support from me. Declare me your friend and ally. By partnering with me, you will carry out the legacy of Your Lady as well as extend your own legacy as a great champion across multiple worlds.

If you choose to walk with me, there is one more condition I can fulfill. I will bring Ianite back to life. Gaines is constructing the revival mechanism for Dianite as we speak. It will also work to harness quintessence from across the cosmos to reform Ianite’s shattered soul. She will return weak, but she will be yours. You will have her not as your goddess but as Your Lady, as you have always known and loved her - and, I believe, as she has always desired to be known and loved.

Finally, I bring grave news. A threat lurks in the void between dimensions. Pockets of quintessence have been leeched dry by an apparition that never appears to us but leaves it’s mark in the form of emptiness. Gaines fears the entity to be malign, and notes that its marks appear in highest concentration near Ruxomar. A number of them have spawned by the location of your old homeland. We fear for the safety not only of Ruxomar but also of your beloved country. As your partner I would deftly guide your blade toward victory against this villainy.

If these prospects appeal to you, sign the contract I have given you, that our alliance may be written into history.

-Mianite