Twin Cities Marathon: Week 16 Day 5, 10 Miles Tempo
Target Pace: 10:52
Actual Pace: 10:59
This morning, I made a decision. I quit. It didn’t come easy, I fought a huge mental battle.
I don’t want to be a quitter.
There is no glory in sitting on a concrete sidewall shivering and holding back tears while runners, bikers, morning dog walkers, and commuters pass and stare.
As the half hour I waited for Cam to pick me up passed, my brain gnawed away at my four months of training and what a shit job I’ve done.
I came to the conclusion that I have failed. I gave up and there I was on display. It was, quite honestly, humiliating.
When he got there, Cam cranked up the heat in his car. I was a mess of shivering tears. Miserable and really disappointed in myself.
I broke down the options for him as I weighed them during my run.
My run I started with two warm-up miles before the sun was even poking out. It was crisp and cool and I was, surprisingly, feeling really great.
After 3 tempo miles, I started to get some pain in my toes on my left foot. I dealt with a pretty crappy bunch of blisters during my half in June, but I put mind over matter and ran through them there, so it’s not that I can’t. I plugged along for another 2 before I stopped to take a look.
After 7 miles I pulled off my socks and saw the same shitty blister I dealt with months ago. Thankfully, my wipes pack is attached with a safety pin. I used that to pop the dime-sized bastard and release some of the pain.
I ran pain free for about a half mile and then it went right back to absolutely awful. I made it a bit farther before I threw in the towel because I had started to adjust my stride to compensate for the pain.
When it came down to it, I had two options:
- Call it, don’t elevate my blisters from uncomfortable to holding me back from running this weekend. I’d already put in a good showing, was it really worth continuing and risking more days off my feet?
- Keep trucking. Blisters might happen during the race and I’ll need to learn run through them. Giving up is failing,
Had I kept going, I’m sure I would probably have an entire foot’s worth of blisters and would not out of the game again this weekend.
There is an end game: beat the living shit out of the marathon in just over two weeks.
Did my decision today help or hinder my progress toward that goal? I don’t know.
As it stands, 12 hours after the run, do I still think I failed? Only a little.
Either way, I definitely need a fucking nap and a snuggle.