408 East 79th Street, Apt. 17AB Upper East Side, Manhattan, New York $8,650,000 | 5 Bedrooms | 5 Bathrooms | 3,836 sq. ft.
Fabulous gut renovated full floor 3,836 SF luxury condo with 10ft. ceilings, four exposures with outstanding open views plus floor to ceiling windows. 4/5 bedroom and 5 full baths. Custom top-of-the line eat-in-kitchen with huge lounge. Grand dining room/living room and fabulous den with custom bar. Additional media room and office.
As we look down the barrel of the latest Northeast snowstorm, I sense that many of you are asking, “Why do you want to live in the cold, harsh, unfriendly North?” I sense this because you keep asking me outright with pointed texts and emails. Some of you (in particular my friend Betty in South Carolina) fear for my life.
So let me calm a few fears. At least about winter storms and Manhattan.
1. They actually have snow plows and salt trucks here. In Georgia, there’s maybe one guy in the whole state (probably called Bubba) who happens to have a truck with a plow on it. And the only salt in the deep South comes in shakers. Attempting to drive in those conditions is terrifying. It’s a sheet of untreated ice. Nope. Not here. That’s why we pay 7 millions times more taxes: to have snow plows. At least I think that’s why. Possibly also because of unions and corruption. But I digress.
2. I don’t have a car. No car to be stuck in the snow. No car to slide off the side of a mountain. I walk to the grocery store anyway all the time – good weather or bad. Walking to a store is inconceivable where you are. I get that, but I can get where I need to go on my own two feet. This is including but not limited to: multiple food stores, restaurants, hardware stores, urgent care, even my gym.
3. I’m not even responsible for clearing my stoop and sidewalk. That’s what building supers are for. De Blasio may be no Bloomberg, but he’ll get the streets plowed soon enough. The sidewalks will follow. The worst part? It’s actually the thaw next week that will form enormous puddles. That’s what I’ve got to worry about. Not the snow.
4. Speaking of snow. It’s actually snow here. Not sleet or ice or freezing rain or the really slippery stuff that plagues y’all down in North Carolina. Can I tell you something? The snow is beautiful. Inspiring. There will be babies born nine months from now. I mean, I won’t be having one, at least, that’s not the plan…
5. All the power lines are below ground in Manhattan. Did you know that? I bet you didn’t. I bet you wish they were where you live in the tornado/hurricane/ice storm-zone from Texas to Virginia. No tree is going to thwart my ability to keep warm. Our cable and wifi? Well, it’s Time Warner, so that may be another story. Rather than bingeing on Netflix we me may be forced to (horror of horrors!) watch an old fashioned DVD. Pray for us.
6. Yes, the milk aisle was wiped out yesterday. But here’s a little fact about me. I almost never buy milk. If I go a week without milk I will be fine. So would you, really, unless you have a Jerry Seinfeld-level addiction to breakfast cereal.
So, calm down Southern friends. We intrepid Manhattanites will make it through. I will be snug and fighting cabin fever with a glass of wine (I DID stock up on that. I mean I’m not CRAZY), and some warm Southern biscuits, like any New Yorker should.