My Girlfriend Seems To Think Her Bodily Autonomy Is More Important Than My Feelings

Dear Mary, 26 May 2013:

I’m really confused right now and as I can’t talk to anybody else I’m trying the anonymity of the news paper. I have a relatively new girlfriend – it’s only a few months since we got together – and as a result of her having a virus, and vomiting all the time, the Pill wasn’t effective, and now she is pregnant. She wants to have an abortion because she says we don’t know each other well enough to be parents, and I can’t think of anything worse than aborting an unborn child. All the controversy going on right now doesn’t help, and I am at my wit’s end. None of our parents has a clue as to what is really going on. I’m in my late 20s and she is a few years younger. What are your thoughts?

Dear Anonymous,

Unlike you, I can think of something worse than aborting an unborn child: a woman who is unwilling to put her health and future at risk and commit to 18 years of parenthood with a near-stranger so that a grown-ass man doesn’t ever have to feel confused or sad about a decision he will never have to make for himself.

What an awful position you’re in, being physically unable to be pregnant and yet knowing exactly what pregnancy is like, and specifically what your girlfriend should do about hers! So many pregnant people experience complicated emotions about unplanned pregnancy and bodily autonomy, while you’re cursed with the absolute knowledge of what’s best for all pregnancies, if only everyone would just listen to your penisfeels for a minute.

But you’re helpless to force every pregnant person ever to carry every pregnancy to term, which is the right thing to do because you personally can’t imagine anything worse than something you literally cannot imagine because it literally will never happen to your body. O, cruel fate!

What can you do? Make a lot of frowns at your girlfriend so she sees how sad you will be if she doesn’t spend the next nine months, and potentially 18 subsequent years, attending to your emotional wellbeing, the most delicate and precious thing on the earth (besides zygotes).

animenutcase said:

re: male tears. Another thing that bugs me is when they use the word "mainpain" when talking about male character angst, particularly when it comes to characters grieving over a loved one's death. It makes me uncomfortable, like they're dismissing the character's emotions as not being as "deep" as a female characters, like it's impossible for a male character to actually care deeply for someone else.

Agreed.  Apparently having basic human empathy to a loved one dying is “manpain”.

What I found hilrious was Manfeels park, which ran as follows:

Male character: Look please stop excluding us from discussions regarding rape, domestic violence and sexual asault.  This happens to us too. 

Female character: Oh we’re very sorry that talking about our problems bothers you, we’ll try not to disturb you with your pain and make sure it doesn’t bother you.

According to the author and her feminist handmaidens, the male character is supposed to be the overly-emotional, self-obsessed, whiny one using emotions over logic and the woman is supposed to be logical, selfless, reasonable and not ruled by her emotions. 

Gamers are so easily manipulated.

All this fake outrage will only promote sales of Depression Quest. Regardless of your personal feelings about Zoe Quinn if you participate in blasting her actions you are fueling further discussion of her games ultimately making her more popular than ever before. 

I’m getting a kick out of all the manfeels boiling up, so by all means keep getting your jimmies rustled. Quinn will be laughing all the way to the bank just like Sarkeesian. 

It’s so satisfying to see ladies getting an edge in this industry thanks to rampant misogyny… I’m only saddened by how rare it happens.

anonymous said:

I saw you mention Manfeels Park. The one that hit pretty close to home for me was one in which a guy says he avoids interacting with women out of fear that he'll be viewed as "rape-y", "a creep", "a loser", etc. And that society encourages feeling like that for men. The end has the woman say "You should stay away from women". I have several anxiety disorders and depression, and I feel similarly to the guy in the comic. It sucks to get reinforcement of these anxieties from the allegedly just.


I think someone needs to take that comic and make the male black, and express his fear that everyone will think he’s a criminal and a rapist of white women, and have the author avatar respond “you should stay away from white women.” 

Not to mention the beautiful hypocrisy of all the main characters of Manfeels Park, including the feminist avatars… are all extremely wealthy 19th white women, the social elite of their era.  They are enjoying the fruits of colonialism, from wearing jewels harvested from the Kimberly diamond minds with the blood of the natives, adorn themselves with gorgeous silks and satins created by children in dangerous workhouses, stuff themselves with rich food whilst the lower classes starve, and amuse themselves with parties, balls, banquets and frivilous excess whilst…. well you know your Blake and your Dickens.     Apparently these obscenely wealthy women whose only interests are having a good time are the perfect avatar for feminism according to the author. 

Another feminist with no self-awareness.