I began with the eyes of yours… The eyes that didn’t catch my attention until I actually listened to those sweet words that released from your lips that spoke of your desires, passions, dreams, wishes, and many more with happiness in your eyes. “You met me at a good and bad time in my life.” This is a warning but not so straightforward like I have been with others. I’m already a mess when we officially meet and what’s worse is that I’ve put myself in this particular mess and I’ll never be able to forgive myself for hurting the ones that I care about the most. “I can’t fucking believe I’m here getting a damn piercing.” I was nervous but the conversations eased me for a few hours. You started this.. You started my downfall.. Feather-like caresses, longing gazes, and songs played by one of your favorite bands. “You’re interesting.” Words that came from my lips as a genuine interest while we sit on your roommates bed. He’s cool. He gave me the combat boots that I’ve been dreaming of because he’s a punk person just like I am and you are opposite. This worries you later.. This is where the crash in everything that matters to me changes. “You’ll be fine, just breathe slowly and you’ll be fine.” Your light brown eyes are intense but reassuring and I’m pulled in.. pulled in so deep that it takes me a moment to actually blink. You’re the most beautiful soul that I have ever looked into and we get along too well for the first day. I hold onto you because I’m light headed. My fucking weak ass stomach and we sit down, holding eachother as if we were already in a relationship. I close my eyes and wrap my head around my gushing nose.. ‘My grandma is going to kill me.’ Your grip is a bit strong. I cannot move without your eyes being trained on me and this goes on into the night where I am lying on your chest. You have a tongue ring that you pierced yourself and I can’t help but to be like a cat chasing the end of a string. After recognizing this, it eventually becomes your bait to reel me in and I fall for it because vulnerability never works in my favor.. I’m a mess, remember? I’m open, needy, sad, desperate, yearning… I’m also bold at this point because I’m so comfortable. I grabbed the tongue ring bar with my teeth! I can’t believe this.. What am I doing? You have no idea either since I recognize that this takes you by surprise. I don’t let go either. There’s a thrill from this and my lips slightly graze yours. “I’m going to kiss her..” These are your thoughts that you reveal to me later when we have one of our deep conversations. A look at your eyes.. your lips.. your eyes.. your lips.. A kiss.. Another kiss.. A long kiss and I withdraw after this. “What the hell are we doing?” You aren’t feeling bad about any of this but I’m a bit cautious. This is day one and vulnerability never works in my favor.. “It’s okay.” I allow myself to be pulled into the wonders of two people who won’t stop what’s happening through the night. I don’t feel guilty. I want to believe I do but I don’t and of course, your reassurance allows me not to regret, to forget the past, and to fall asleep next to you. I wake up in the middle of the night to you complaining of how you can’t sleep. I take you into my arms and hold you, running my fingers through your hair soothingly but the wonders call to you and I give in to your unspoken request. You finally fall asleep and I wake up to the sight of you sleeping peacefully with your head in my direction. You’re the lightest sleeper I know because I shift and your eyes flash open but you’re relaxed. I stare.. You stare.. You sleep.. I sleep, holding you.. I wake up and your grip is tight.. You wake up.. I have to go and I don’t want to. “Okay, I’ll walk you out.” I hope this bus never comes and it’s allowing me to get my hopes up because it takes so long to arrive. Touch, downward glances, smirks.. Yesterday is surreal and real. “…bye.” Did I seal this dreadful fate with those words? Why not until next time, M? Your expression is soft and readable, allowing me to hope and I leave with the eyes of yours..