Malapert; Ollie + Eliana.

Malapert - Clever in manners of speech; themagpielife, heraldofzeus.

It’s going to be okay, he tells Tyler over and over. It’s all going to be okay. He’s great with kids, and Eliana is a great kid–once they all get used to each other, it’s going to be okay. They just need to get used to having a third plate on the table. She just needs to get used to two dads after so many years of one mom.

He’ll handle it, he tells Tyler over and over. He’ll handle everything until they’re in that easier place. He’ll make her lunch and he’ll handle her bus schedule and he’ll tuck her in at night when it feels like too much. They just need to get their routines down, and he’ll handle them until the grooves are deep enough.

He sits on the edge of her little cot night after night, watching her pretend to fall asleep and lie with infinite stillness and careful breaths. In the darkness of the room, with the quiet of her measured breathing, he feels the cracks of beginning to believe that maybe things won’t work out. Maybe he can’t handle it.

After the first two weeks, he stops reading her stories once she’s curled the covers up over her shoulders. He sits instead until his own words come to him, devoid of illustration but soft and genuine. He tells Eliana the same stories Hadyn and Eileen had embarrassed Ty with not so long ago. He tells her about Bruce and about the soft, happy memories they’d managed to make in this house. He tells her gently everything that’s fit to say to an eight-year-old. 

It’s a month before she starts asking questions. There are never many, but they’re always the quietly astute little blips that surprise soft smiles onto his lips. Answering them gets tricky, now and then, but she learns to take his careful shrugs with tiny smiles of her own.

It’s amazing how much he sees Tyler around her eyes when she smiles in the dark.

word of the day: malapert


Boldly disrespectful.

From Old French mal- (bad, wrong) + apert (bold, insolent, clever), from Latin apertus (open). Ultimately from the Indo-European root wer- (to cover), which also gave us overt, cover, warranty, warren, garage, garret, garment, garrison, garnish, guarantee, and pert. Earliest documented use: 1400.

“Malapert and cheeky, she gazed up at him."Susan Johnson; Wicked; Bantam Books; 1996.

shipping-sylph-of-whatever asked:

oh look I'm 262627 years late but: Cagamosis: Ava/Odin and Malapert-Korrasami

I’m sorry it took me forever to write and even more sorry of the craziness since I haven’t practiced writing in forever.

(This is around when they were walking to get to Maggie)

“Stop pulling me!”
 “Well maybe if you’d walked a l-little faster, I w-wouldn’t have to pull you.”
  Ava, glared at Odin’s back-he knew she was too short to keep up.
  “Well maybe if you weren’t so freakishly tall I’d be walking at the same pace.“
  It was Odin’s turn to glare. He hated the fact that he was tall-sure it came in handy when he wanted to intimidate during his missions, but his siblings had always used it as the butt of their jokes.
  Ava squirmed a little under his gaze, and when he turned she realized that his hold on her wrist had become stiffer.
  “Ay, lumberjack, you’re cutting off my circulation.”


  Each time one of the triplets had called him that his mother called them out, telling them to stop. Each time his father had told her that they were just kids, and a little jab to the ego every now and then is good for a man.
  “But he’s not a man, he’s a boy,” she’d always respond, then they’d go back and forth until the argument shifted to bills, and the condition of the house, and how one wasn’t a good enough parent, and eventually Odin would have to pick up his sisters and take them into the other room, each screaming “Let me down you oversized giraffe!” while beating at his chest.

   Ava blushed, not wanting to admit that his sudden silence had worried her.
   “I… I… You’re still cutting off my circulation,” the last bit came out rushed, and more of a question than a statement, but he didn’t so much as blink.
   He let go of her wrist immediately and quickened his pace.
   “T-Try to keep up…m-midget.”


  The spirit world wasn’t nearly as relaxing as Asami had imagined it to be.
  Left and right spirits would come up to her and Korra screaming about disasters that turned out to be only small inconveniences to them, and others would hide in their bags, bunches would eat the food they’d gather, ancestors would come up to them talking about how much they’d grown, and if she had a dollar for how many times Jinora had showed up because Tenzin wanted her to check up on them, she could call off future industries for good.
  Korra, though was completely in her element (pun not intended). She knew all the spirits, and was welcomed for tea by several deceased acquaintances. So to make sure she didn’t dampen Korra’s excitement Asami put up a brave face.
  She played her role well, but there was one spirit she absolutely could not stand.
  His name was Vervelend-Verve for short-and he was the most obnoxious thing Asami had ever met.
  He constantly pestered her with riddles in which if she didn’t answer correctly, he’d refuse to return her things.
  At one point Korra had to hold her back as she reasoned with Verve to return Asami’s underwear. He adamently  refused until Korra agreed to have a meal with him. Asami turned absolutely livid at this because “NO ONE IS GOING TO TOUCH MY GIRLFRIEND WHILE I’M AROUND”
   She attempted chasing him up his tree, but gave up after falling several times.
  “You must reallyyyyyy like her then,” Verve taunted.
   Asami glared.
  “Too bad, I’m keeping my date then.”
   Another attempt at climbing the tree.
   Another failure at climbing the tree.
  “You know what, there is one thing that would convince me to cancel it.” he drawled.
   Asami narrowed her eyes. “What is it?”
  “If I had a different date,” he was now hanging off a branch by his yellow tail, “I wouldn’t mind calling it off.”
  “Ok, I’ll get you a date,” Asami muttered angrily, though there was amusement flashing in her eyes, “I know the perfect candidate”
   Korra laughed from a few feet away, at Asami’s unintentional pun.
  “Okay bring her around dinnertime,” Verve swung out of the tree and flew on the wings too small for the rest of his body.
   A couple hours later Asami came back from dropping off Verve’s date, nearly callapsing from laughter.
   “So how’d you find someone desperate enough to agree,” Korra asked, the corners of her lips tugging upwards in regards to Asami’s laughter.
   “Oh I didn’t,” Asami said as she reached for a cup of water, but she had to spit it out because she couldn’t stop giggling.
   “Remember that tree we found the other day, with the dates growing on it.”
   Korra’s eyes widened, already realizing where this story was going.
  “I picked one and gave it to him.”
  She laughed until she had to brush the tears from her eyes, and Korra laughed until her stomach hurt.


“The-the other important joke for me is one that’s usually attributed to Groucho Marx, but I think it appears originally in Freud’s wit and its relation to the unconscious.  And it goes like this-I’m paraphrasing: 'I would never wanna belong to any club that would have someone like me for a member.’ That’s the key joke of my adult life in terms of my relationships with women.”

-excerpt from the opening monologue to Annie Hall


Groucho Marx roasts Bill Cosby.