Based off ‘Stay’ by Mayday Parade. You’ve been fighting and he tries to get you back.
Pairing: Y/N and Luke
Rating: PG (Idk I swear a bit)
Word Count: 2443
Everything that I feel’s like a warm deep calm casting over me
Luke was numb. He was in shock. The love of his life had walked out on him and he could barely think. He knew that he should feel sad, upset, angy, frustrated, but he felt nothing. He couldn’t process anything. It was all too much. He opened his mouth, and no words came. He stood;empty, except for the image of you slamming the door on him replaying over and over, before he fell to the ground, his legs no longer strong enough to hold him up.
It’s taking me to somewhere new
You ran. You hated running, but you would do anything to get away from there as fast as possible. You ended up in front of a diner, one that you and Luke had been to only once before. The coffee and food was shit, but you had to take shelter from the rain, so it was better than nothing. His blonde hair had stuck to his forehead, his perfect quiff ruined thanks to the rain, after having insisted you wear his hoodie .His t-shirt clung to his body as he had waited, shiverring in the doorway for a good few minutes before the staff had brought him a towel and encouraged him to sit down. There were quite a lot of memories there, but you were too overwhlmed and exhausted- both emotionally and physically, to go anywhere else. So you walked in, breathing heavily, until a waitress had shown you to a table at the back. You couldn’t stop what happened next; the hyperventilating, the panicking, the crying, the shaking. You wanted to scream. You still weren’t over what just happened.
“Please understand that if I see you again, don’t even say hello”.
Luke considered going after you, many times. His knees were pulled up to his chest as he debated with himself whether or not to find you. He stood up and grabbed his car keys, pacing and standing by the door before realising it was pointless because you were probably avoiding him, not even wanting to be found. He fell to the floor once more, your words now echoing throughout this head. “If I see you again, don’t even say Hello.” His grip tightened on his car keys, and the attached penguin keychain you had given him for his birthday, and they began to draw blood as his knuckles whitened and his first tears began to fall.
You begged the diner owners to let you stay. They were a 24/7 diner, but they weren’t used to having people stay for an entire night.
“I have nowhere else to go. I’ll pay for coffee and all that just let me stay. Please.”
“Please understand I’ve been drinking again, and all I do is hope”
Luke left your shared apartment. He wanted you to be able to return without him being there, in case you wanted to collect your things and leave. He was mentally preparing if you never wanted to be associated with him again. So he went to crash with Calum and drink all of his alcohol in a desperate attempt to forget everything. Every night it was the same routine, he’d tell Calum how much he hoped you’d forgive him, he’d beg for alcohol and then drink until you were off his mind.
You left the diner eventually. You stayed over at a friend’s and only found out where Luke was through Ashton’s frantic texts, but you refused to let the guys know where you were.
All the love’s still there, I just don’t know what to do with it now
When Luke wasn’t drowning his sorrows in Calum’s alcohol, he was overthinking your relationship. Luke was certain that you still loved him, somehow. Despite what he’d done, and even after what you’d done, he knew that you couldn’t hate him forever. He didn’t know what to do or say to get you back. He sent chocolates to your apartment which had probably been stolen or melted, he sent apology cards and flowers, and he was fairly sure they were wilting by now, and he had left countless text messages and voicemails, but you never picked up your phone. He was still hoping that something would show you exactly how much he cared and wanted you back.
You ‘spoke’ to Luke once in the week. You ignored every, “Are you alright?”, “I’m sorry” and “At least tell me where you are so I can stop worrying” and just sent;
Luke was out, walking around the city, with his hands shoved deep in his coat pocket, kicking pebbles along the ground as he walked. It was almost midnight, but he didn’t have the heart to go back to your apartment in case you were there and he really didn’t want to bother Calum anymore, so here he was; walking around the city alone, part of him desperately hoping he would bump into you.
It was freezing cold, yet his coat wasn’t doing much. He shivered slightly and glanced up at the shops around him. Four department stores- all closed, but one diner, still open. His jaw dropped a little as he realised it was the diner you two had run into to avoid the rain a few months ago. He remembered how the rain shone on your hair and made it glitter under the street-lamps, he remembered how your teeth wouldn’t stop chattering until he handed over his hoodie, but even then, you were so happy to be out with him that you never stopped smiling. He figured he had nothing to lose, and seemed to remember it was pretty warm inside, even if the coffee was shit, so he walked in.
The tacky diner bell above the door chimed as a tall boy walked in, adjusting his beanie slightly and waving off staff as they offered him coffee and food.
You groaned inwardly and almost slammed your head on the table. You really did not want him to be here now. What were the chances? You only came in here because your friend said you should get some fresh air and coffee… and because it reminded you of Luke, but that didn’t mean you wanted to see him. You didn’t think you were ready to handle it. You looked down at the newspaper that was on the table, pretending to read the headlines, avoiding confrontation with Luke at all costs.
“Y/N?” you heard his shoes squeaking on the diner floor as he rushed over to you.
You had missed the sound of his voice, even though it had only been a week. You were tempted, but hadn’t even listened to his voicemails he’d left.
“Oh my god, it’s you. I’m sorry Y/N. Are you okay?” his voice shook. He looked at you with all the hope he could gather, but you continued to stare at the paper on the table in front of you.
“Do you want me to leave? I just… I wondered if we could talk. I’m so sorry.” he sounded as if he was about to cry. It took all your determination not to look up at him.
You clenched your jaw and swallowed, before biting your lip, holding back all the things you’d wanted to say to him. Luke was observant; he noticed all these little things that you did, for fear of making things worse, he turned around and was about to walk away, on the verge of losing all hope. He was torn between fighting for you and giving you space.
“Luke, wait… Please Stay.”
You still didn’t look up, but you stopped ‘reading’ and didn’t fight back as his hand found its way to your chin and he lifted it up so that your eyes, brimming with tears, met Luke’s.
Oh can you tell I haven’t slept very well, since the last time that we spoke.
Your eyes scanned his face, and his seemed to be doing the same to you. He looked sick, his skin was pale, his cheeks were hollow, his blue eyes didn’t glint in the light as they used to and the bags under his eyes were so evident, it was clear that he hadn’t slept much in the past week, if at all. You thought you looked bad (as your friend had so kindly reminded you), but Luke seemed much worse.
“Y/N… Have you slept at all this week?” he slowly asked, as if still scared and hesitant to talk to you.
You shook your head, your breath hitched in your throat, so you could only mouth “A couple of hours yesterday”.
Luke sat opposite you and took your hands in his, “Same” he muttered, unsure of whether or not you cared.
Luke had only slept a couple of hours each day. Typically it would end with Calum waking him up from a nightmare because he had been either screaming, thrashing around of calling out your name in his sleep.
You had gotten almost no sleep because your bad habit of overthinking everything came back and you tossed and turned, conflicted about your feelings for Luke. You loved him, and you hoped he still loved you, but what were you supposed to do. You walked out on him, you couldn’t just go back.
“Have you eaten?” you asked, shyly, noticing that he also looked skinnier than usual and it was worrying.
“Do you care?” he asked, sounding a little harsher than he had originally intended to.
You flinched slightly at his choice of words, and bit your lip, holding back a snarky comment, instead choosing to reply with, “I never stopped caring, Luke.”
“Well no, barely anything. I’ve been so worried about you.” He managed to choke out, he was so close to tears, but he knew needed to talk to you and this was a start.
You know, I still can’t believe we both did some things I don’t even want to talk about.
“Can we talk about it, please?” his hands squeezing your slightly.
“I’d rather not… but I want to hear why you did it. So yes, we will talk this out.” You said, removing your hands from his grasp and folding your arms across your chest.
“This may sound a bit off, but I need you to believe me, she pushed herself on me, I swear. She started it. ”
“Bullshit.” You countered, staring him down and refusing to believe this ‘excuse’
“Your hands were up her shirt Lucas; I highly doubt she made you do that.”
“I was drunk…”
“Doesn’t matter, you idiot,” your tone becoming harsher and louder, “You knew I was there, you knew I was in the next room. The least you could’ve done is found somewhere private to fuck your ex-girlfriend, or even told me I wasn’t good enough for you in the first place.”
“No, Y/N. You don’t understand.”
“Then explain it, make me understand,” cutting him off and raising your eyebrows slightly, unimpressed at his attempt to explain everything so far.
“If anything, you’re too good for me, I don’t deserve you, the fact that you’re still talking to me proves that. I am so lucky to have you and I love you, okay? I would do anything to get you back, I just… please believe me. She was the one who started it all. I would never have kissed her first. I was drunk, so I made a mistake in not pulling away immediately but I am so, so sorry.”
“Alright….” You started, before he cut you off this time, suddenly becoming less nervous.
“Need I remind you, the minute you found out, you ran off to make out with Calum, my best friend?”
“Haha, I kissed him once and you made sure it was only once because you, quite rudely might I add, came barging in the room to interrupt before he could even consider touching me the way you were touching her.” you spat. You were willing to forgive him, your anger subsiding significantly because of his explanation, until he brought up what you had done.
Just say you love me and I’ll say “I’m sorry, I don’t want anybody else to feel this way.” I’ll admit I was wrong about everything.
“Do you still love me?” he interjected, stopping you before you could say anything else.
“What?” That was the last question you were expecting right now.
“Y/N Y/L/N, do you still love me?”
“I’m sorry. I was stupid, and I would never do it again. I still love you. No one could ever feel the way I feel about you, and I don’t think I could live with myself if I lost you after one stupid drunk mistake. What I did was wrong, what you did, I overreacted to, it was nothing compared to what I was doing. I’m sorry, please forgive me. Please stay.”
All the fun that we had on your mother’s couch, I don’t even wanna think about… what I was supposed to do, you know I love you.
You couldn’t stay angry at him for any longer. You mumbled a quick apology for how you spoke to him earlier.
There was a reason you’d fallen in love with him, one reason was his determination to show you how much you meant to him and how much he loved you. Your friend had told you about the chocolates and the flowers and this ‘speech’ of his made all the tears and the sleepless nights worth it.
You kissed him, hoping it could get your message across because you didn’t really know what to say right now. It was passionate and fiery, all the emotion you two had been harbouring for the past week coming out in this one kiss. His hands cradled your face gently, still not wanting to hurt you. Memories came flooding back, being caught kissing by Luke’s mum on her couch, the stolen kisses whilst in the company of the other boys and all moments you’d spent with each other within the past few months, all held in one kiss. Your hands grazed his hair, pulling off the beanie on his hair and making his hair flat, like the last time you two had visited the diner. You both pulled away, to breathe more than anything else and Luke raised his eyebrows at you, smirking slightly.
“What was I supposed to do, Luke? You know I love you. Of course I want you to stay. I forgive you, and I’m sorry too.”