Andy Dwyer Presents: D.C. 101 with Professor Andrew Dwyer (x)

The symptoms of Lurgi included the uncontrolable urge to cry ‘Yack-a-boo,’ though even during the episode the ailment proved to be an extortionate attempt to sell brass band musical instruments. Milligan was later to make up his own definition in Treasure Island According to Spike Milligan, where Jim Hawkins’ mother describes it as “like brown spots of shit on the liver”.

I have been struck down with the Dreaded Lurgi. Quick! Pass me another euphonium!

(Ten points if you get that reference)

I’ve been feeling a little under the weather since Tuesday, but especially bad since Saturday afternoon. I hate being ill, I don’t have time to be ill, I have a job to go to and two children to look after and a household to run. I just don’t do illness.

My body, however, disagrees with me quite strongly and wants me to remain curled up on the sofa with a hot toddy, blissfully ignoring all of the housework that needs to be done. It is threatening more dizzy spells, stomach cramps, coughing fits and sneezes that would rival the eruption of Vesuvius if I don’t comply. 

I think my body might be winning this time. Hmph!

Lurgi has struck

The entire household is at some stage of fighting off the dreaded Lurgi, so I won’t be spending as much time on my writing for the meanwhile.

Chaos is the last to fall/youngest/most needy of the family, so most of my time will be sopped up by caring for an ailing little lass.

I’ll still be trying to do the daily instants, but progress on my trilogy has tanked.

Thanks to everyone for their patience with me.

So. Struck down, by the dreaded lurgi.

Not really struck down, but certainly feeling washed out. I started t run frm work to the railway station this afternoon, and was puzzled: my legs were fatigued in a few hundred metres, I felt like my heart was about to burst out of my chest …

It wasn’t until much later I realised that it was probably because of this cold my children have bestowed upon me.

I don’t see a 10k happening this weekend. Nor a fartlek. Just something easy and shortish, more’s the pity.

Daily Discussion: Forcing them off?

First day back to school and surprise, surprise… Mayhem had a sudden relapse of Lurgi after his near-recovery, yesterday.

Funny how he can be fine on a weekend and sick as a dog on Monday.

Well, I’ve had more than enough of that, this year. I doped him up with all the over-the-counter stuff I could get him to take [Kids’ immuno-booster, probiotics, ginger ale, a decent breakfast and his antacid], and told him that there was no way in hell that he was coming home before school ended, today.

He tried to get more sleep in during the car trip to drop Chaos off. I fed him one of my atomic mints and told him to wake up and tough it out or else.

And I’m dreading the school ringing me, despite the fact that I sent along a note that, distilled to it’s core essence, reads as, “Don’t believe a word my malingering son has to say about his health.”

The kid looks like hell on a biscuit, and most of that is because he won’t apply his chapstick. And though he looks like hell on a biscuit, he’s essentially fine.

I just hope the school believes me on that call.

Is anyone else caught between a rock and a hard place?

Ugh damned lurgi coupled with stomach cramps means Ive been awake since just before 5am. Had to finally admit defeat and get my sorry bum out of bed. For now I’m going to stare blankly at X Files whilst drinking my nettle and Lemon tea. Ugh.

I was tagged by britishprostitute

Answer all the questions and then pass it on to 10 of your followers

Birthday: May 28th

Gender: Male

Sexuality:  I like hot people no matter what their gender although they’re way out of my league

Height: 170ish idk (that’s 5’6” i think)

Time Zone: UTC +2/+3

Time and Date Where You Are: 12:04 AM August 30th

Average Hours of Sleep: 6-8 hours

OTP’s: Andrew Garfield and Emma Stone

Last Thing I Googled: 170 cm in foot and inches

First Word That Comes Mind: Music

Last Thing Said to a Family Member: “Who is she?” we’re watching a tv show rn

A Place That Makes You Happy and Why: Montreal in general, I like the vibe of the city and people are nice, where I live is too crowded and people are loud, you can’t go anywhere because there’s always heavy traffic jam and there’s no free wifi

How Many Blankets Do You Sleep Under: Just one

Favorite Beverage: I LOVE ice tea, I could drink it all day everyday, I also have tried bubble tea for the first time this summer and kinda I liked it

Last Movie Seen In The Cinema: Guardians Of The Galaxy

I tag gayboyfriencl illegalaustralien lurgys slimegf kuzkospoison hunnty shrekjpeg ecstasysmom englland and dramaqueenvevo

Daily Discussion: Ready to resume the rat-race?

The school holidays are almost over and so, thankfully, is the lurgi that’s been plaguing me all week. Sadly, it looks as though Mayhem has caught it.

And he’s had a knack for being sick that simply pains my pecs.

If I send him to school with whatever help I can muster, then there’s a high chance they’ll throw him back because he looks bloody awful. If I keep him home, I still earn bad-mum-points because he’s already spent too long away from school.

I can’t win.

And I need a LOT of quick-fix remedies that I can give this child so he can actually go without being sick.

It’s that bad that I’m thinking of threatening him with honey and cider vinegar again.

Does anyone have some good home remedies for lurgi?

First Time Fanfiction Coriolanus

The idea behind my name obviously Fiction

Blood and Tea Girl

 One Shot.

Tom  Actor while playing Coriolanus

Romantic fluff with some sexual refrance.

There is nothing better in life than combining the things you love, so when I got the offer from a mate asking me if I’d like to work at the Donmar during the Coriolanus run because half the staff had gone down with flu, I jumped at the chance.  I would be a very junior runner but HELL, the Donmar, Shakespeare, and of course Tom Hiddleston, who wouldn’t? I didn’t expect to get near or even talk to the guy just a bit of staring from a distance would make my day.

The first few days I did everything I could to be helpful, make tea in large amounts, lemon and honey drinks as the cast had the dreaded lurgy too and run trips to the chemist for every flu and cold remedy known to man. I cleared up fake blood from corridors and clothes and washed up. The list went on and on. Still it was amazing listening to the cast and crew tell stories of productions past and getting the odd glimpse of Tom.

On the 4th day I got a call from the stage manager would I go to “HIS” dressing room as he had a request. Bloody Hell! It wasn’t just my legs that shook as I tapped on the door and waited for a reply, hoping I could hear the answer over my thumping heart.

“Come on in” said a not so familiar voice.

And in I tip toed, Oh it was still him, sitting on his sofa looking tired, red eye and full of cold. I hoped he’d stay sitting down, it felt a little better me being taller. Nope he stood up, all 6foot 2 inches and gave me a watery version of his boyish grin.

 “Would you mind getting these for me?”

He then apologised for being rude.

“Sorry let’s start again, What’s your name?”

And in a voice I didn’t recognise, several octaves higher than my own answered


“Well Conny, I’m Tom”  like I didn’t know!

“Would you mind getting these for me please” and he handed me a now familiar list of lemons and other cold stuff.

The same squeaky voice answered sure and I shot out the door before he had the chance to give me the money to pay for them.

When I returned with the goods I’d manned up, well that’s what I’d told myself. I tapped on the dressing room door with more vigour.

“Come on in “

I managed a pretty good smile with a casual got your stuff Tom, then ran. Only to be called back by the man himself now grinning at my very red face,so he could give me the money to pay for it.

“I need to pay for these and thank you “

“Sure ” I squeaked, and that I thought would be my only contact with the star of the show.

As the start of the show got nearer, it became very obvious that the back stage bunnies had been dropping like flies and we were very short of helping hands. The girl who did the makeup had done all the main work and left. I was taken aside by the stressed out stage manager and asked in a kind of jokey way, if I would mind splattering Tom with blood as he rushed passed to get back on to the stage in 1min 30 seconds having killed lots of Volscies and opened those gates. SHIT! Yes of course I would, I heard myself in that stupid high voice. FUCK IT AND OH HELP.

So at 7.50 I was standing in the corridor of the theatre with a fake blood in squeezy bottles waiting for Caius Martius when I would cover his gorgeous, super fit, body in blood. I thought I’d shook earlier now I could barely stand up and I had a strange lack of breath. Here he was in front of me


I nearly did just that but instead I splashed, splattered and squeezed blood all over his head, neck,  torso and, not forgetting to get some on those long slender hands. Not once looking at his face to avoid those bloody awesome sexy eyes and lips as the blood trickled down them. |How did anyone resist them? He then dashed off back on stage.

That was it my job done for the day Thank God.

The following day I again got called to THE dressing room.

Oh shit! I must have cocked up last night. It took me a full 60 seconds standing outside the door before I had the courage to knock timidly at it in the hopes he would not hear.

“Come on in “

I didn’t even talk this time I just stood feeling like a kid in the Head Masters office waiting for the cane, I was having bad thoughts about that, FUCK.

“I wanted to thank you for last night” No cane then, shame.

“To ask you to do the same thing for the rest of the run” did he know what I was just thinking? Coz those bloody eyes were twinkling and he was grinning as only he could?


He came over and gave me a big Hiddles hug- man he smelt good- before thanking me again and allowing me with my now jelly legs to flee the scene.

7.50pm there I was again, throwing blood over Hiddleston and trying really hard not to look at it splashed down his jaw line, his neck and those muscle arms. We didn’t speak and I didn’t dare look more than I had to. Once I had covered him in red and managed to cover myself as well, off he shot to carry on the play. 

I went Home feeling somewhat frustrated and bothered, trying really, really hard not to think of that blood flowing down that neck and torso…Shit the neck!

2 weeks later I’m still at it, throwing blood at Tom and making tea for all the crew who now called me Blood and Tea girl.

 Blood and Tea girl please go to Tom’s dressing room. What had he come up with now to torture me? I still hadn’t said more than 2 words to him.

Again I stood outside the door where thoughts returned of Head Masters and canes. Another Timid knock,

“Come on in”

“Hello Conny” and giving me another Hiddles Hug, which I am now sure he uses to disarm women before he asks them to do stuff. He stood back and gave me the big grin. He really did smell  way to good to be a normal mortal.

“Would you mind helping with something else as well as the blood”

“Sure” At this point he probably thought that was all I could say.

“I need you to go the other side of the stage and help Marc and me, get me in and out of that stupid gown, its taking too long at the moment”

“Sure” I said and bolted very, very quickly.WTF had I agree too.

7.50pm I was shaking like a leaf as I did my now brilliant job of covering tom in Red goo and Tom did his of looking so fucking Hot as it slid down his firm, strong body. A few minutes later I was the other side of the stage feeling even more scared, nervous and sick than before but somehow strangely excited. In they rushed, the gown already waiting for them Marc started to help Tom remove clothes

“Come on help”

Shit where did I start.

T Shirt off, FUCK Shoes off, OH FUCK, Trousers off and there he stood in just a dick onsie to cover his modesty. OH MY GOD. Now I need no bloody imagination when I got home, it was all in front of me.

 I grabbed the gown and got it on him, my hands accidently brushing against Face, Neck arms and even very firm smooth Buttocks. Covering him up with that stupid see threw gown, before I did something Id regret. How could one man have such an effect?

I had only a few minutes to calm down before I had to reverse the whole process, getting him back in to those oh so tight jeans and body hugging T shirt. Hands yet again brushing against him all the way down, buttons done up shoes sorted.

 Boy I needed air.

If I had been frustrated before on getting home, well this was a whole new level of pain I needed a way to calm down.

It was the stressed stage manager that told me the next day that Tom liked the new arrangement and it would carry on for the rest of the run.

For the rest of the plays run I was on Auto pilot the only way to survive. Throwing blood at his gorgeous body and seeing it drip down him, going round to the other side of the stage to pull the gorgeous fucking sods clothes off. These included the wet from shower tight jeans which on some night refused to be removed without extra help and tugging. I never talked to him and I tried so hard not to catch those blue eyes, or look to long at places I should not be. Honest!

Going home in a whole load of pent up emotion each night with only some toy with batteries to relieve it. Knowing that tomorrow would bring more of the same sweet torture.

On the last week of the plays run I got the sodding cold but even though the Blood and Tea girl was a bit slower she didn’t give up. The last day dawned and I went in to face my personal hell one last time. Knowing that after that night it would all end, and the new pain would start of not having it, or him

The cast and crew were buzzing, a few jokes were played and many

“We must keep in touches” were spoken.  Me, I did as I had all run stayed out the way and at the correct times Sloshed blood on the man and took his clothes off and on. Maybe making sure this time to brush up against that smooth, warm, beautiful smelling skin as much as I could without him realising it. It was my last chance.

I was all set to go home feeling totally rung out when the not so stress stage manager caught me.

“Conny, coming to the after show party?” I did try to say no. I gave excuses of the best kind, of colds and needing sleep. This did not work, she simply put me in Tom dressing room where I noticed his stuff was packed up. She told me he would not be in for an hour as the interval was over,

“So get some sleep on the sofa and we’ll see you there.”

 Just for a second I thought, I’ll just sit here where he had for a second.

Oh Shit! The next thing I knew I was waking up and I could hear someone in the shower as I went to move to run for it, they got out. I faked sleep seemed a good idea.

The person walked across the room and sat on the arm of the sofa. Then ever so gently he and it was him I knew that blissful, smell anywhere, moved me so that he could lay behind me with his arm round my waist. There was no mistake who it was, as there was no mistake about the pressure in the small of my back and what was making it.

I had imagined this moment for the whole fucking run and my reaction to it. Now it had happened I was so fucking angry. All this time he’d not said sod all and he just expected this with no words!  So with as much dignity as I could muster I wiggled round to face him.

And the moment I looked into those blue eyes I was doomed.

“Hello Conny, feeling better?”

Before I could answer that he put his lips to mine and gently kissed me gradually making it fuller and fuller. His arms completely circled me and I found myself under him looking up at that beautiful, happily smiling, handsome face. He had only a towel round his middle, which to be quite frank was now having trouble staying there, it seemed a shame not to help it….

30 mins later, both of us totally naked and grinning, he laughed out loud in the classic Eheheheh.

“Well at least this time I got to undress you” 


So this happened somewhere inbetween babysitting, coming down with a case of the dreaded lurgy (stomach-related) and a rewatch of the latest update to vivzie-pop's WIP animation to Ke$ha's “Die Young”, which I think is one of the coolest animatics I've seen with webcomic characters involved.  I love how silky smooth everything is, especially the werewolf gal's hair.  I recall animating hair in college and having a conniption over just how difficult it was, so props to Vivzie for making it look so dang easy and brilliantly cool <3 <3 <3

I also listened to Ke$ha’s “Die Young” whilst sketching this.  Props for inspiration because I haven’t drawn shite in quite a number of months.

There’s an art attached to this post and that was mainly the point of this.  Illness isn’t fun and it makes me want to launch something into the stratosphere out of sheer boredom.  Lessened the amount of quills on Vel’s hairstyle…and subsequently added them onto her tailspine.  I’m hopeless >_>;  The ring in her hand is actually meant to be the ivory ring symbol of her rival, Magellan’s team.  Circles are not a strong point with my shaky hands.

I dislike everything from the neck down.  Sigh. 

I really need to draw more but inspiration’s as fleeting as the summer sunshine.  Jobwise, the situation still sucks ass, but I have hope for a couple placements.  We’ll see…

Daily Discussion: Depending on others?

As you may have read in yesterday’s DD, I went down like a sack of spuds, yesterday.

The lurgi still has me in its odious grip, and I’m in no shape to go anywhere or see anyone. So naturally, Murphy’s law has decreed that we need stuff.

I’ve sent my best-beloved off with a long-ish list of things I need and the fond hope that they bring home the metaphorical bacon.

And no way of telling if - or when - they will.

And most of it is supplies I need to survive Lurgi with most of my brain functions intact.

And meanwhile… I am heavily brain-fogged.

Who else is in purgatory with me?

This is my sick face 😷😫😰 sorry guys, I’m gonna be taking some time out from posting while I recover from this lurgy! I’m going to start doing YouTube vids soon though so there’s something for y’all to look forward to! 😚❤️ enjoy the weekend xo

OK so in addition to the things I was whinging about the other day, I got a huge knitting commission through my etsy shop, which is great because money but it means I have to knit basically non-stop for a fortnight. And I have the lurgy. So I’m going to call this a semi-hiatus for a week or so. I’ll be about but I’m not going to try and keep up and I won’t post much. I’ll keep an eye on messages, if anyone wants my kik or my email let me know.

See you in a bit, if my hands don’t fall off (SO MUCH KNITTING TO DO)