Possible James Potter’s reactions to Sirius and Remus relationship.
The tentative one: What you mean you’re dating Moony? I mean…dating? What kind of dating? The snogging type of dating?
The it-was-about-time one: Why are you so nervous, you wanker? I know it, everybody knows it, even the giant squid knows it. I mean what the hell those eye fucks were about? I’d be disappointed if you were not shagging Moony.
The gamble one: I TOLD YOU WORMTAIL YOU OWE ME TEN GALLEONS.
The inconvenient one: Who’s the bottom? I need to know…for science.
The nonsense-monologue one: Hey assholes, we’re going to Hogsmeade for some firewhiskey do you want somet— OH GOD, MERLIN’S HAIRY BALLS I WAS SO NOT READY TO SEE IT. COVER YOUR ASS. FUCKING HELL ARE YOU— DID YOU JUST— WHAT— CONGRATULATIONS BUT— OH GOD. ARE YOU FUCKING NAKED? JESUS CHRIST WHAT IS GOING ON HERE? YOU’RE GAY—?
The comprehensive-mate one: I might need some time to…you know, get used to it and how it affects the dynamic of the group. But you know you’re my best mates. I want you to be happy.
The older-brother one: If you hurt him I’ll forget you’re not a bird and I’ll fuck your arse so hard you will spend a week watching classes on your feet.
The I-live-with-you-tossers-for-too-long-to-believe-this-shit one: I really hope this is not a joke because if it is Padfoot yOU BETTER WATCH YOUR SUGAR ASS.
The skeptical one: Ha-ha very funny. And I’m fucking Snivellus. Will you pass me the pumpkin juice, please?
The sympathizer one: How is it? No, not being in love, I fucking know how it is to being in love. How is it to have a cock in your arse?
The amused-by-the-irony one: DOES YOUR MOM KNOW ABOUT THIS SNOGGING-THE-WEREWOLF-PARTY OF YOURS, MR. PADFOOT? HA-HA-HA OH MY GOD THIS IS GOING TO BE HYSTERICAL, BRACE YOURSELF WORMTAIL
The speachless one:
The James Potter one: WHY WAS MOONY THE RESPONSIBLE FOR MAKING YOU REALIZE YOU’RE A FLAMING QUEER? I’M YOUR BEST FRIEND! MOONY, WHAT THE FUCK? WHAT I’M NOT DATABLE ENOUGH FOR YOU? HOW DARE YOU DATE WITHOUT ME? I’M NOT JEALOUS, WORMTAIL, FUCK OFF JUST BECAUSE YOU’RE NOT FUCKABLE IT DOESN’T MEAN I’M NOT EITHER.
(In addition: Don’t give me a homophobic James. That’s just not an option.)