I FUCKED UP. Yesterday, on my personal Facebook, I made a “look what a good trans* ally I am” status update. This is problematic because that’s putting the narrative on me, a cis person and asking for a pat on the back I really didn’t need to ask for. After @queerdeviance and @queervomit tried to check me, I spoke over them, two trans* individuals, in a conversation about checking my own cis privilege.
I apologize for repeatedly allowing my feelings of momentary cis-hurt to trump the daily hurt trans* people go through. To ignore that is akin to violence so I apologize for enacting trans*violence. It was triggering and disrespectful for me to carry on denying my cis-sexist logic like I did. Whether intentional or not, I got defensive rather than actually allowing trans* individuals, my friends, to check me. Erasure of trans* voices is not only a pattern enacted by people like Dan Savage but a system of oppression that I, whether intentionally or not, participated in and furthered. To those cis-people who messaged me to console me, YOU ARE WRONG CAUSE I WAS WRONG AND I DO NOT CO-SIGN WITH YOUR CIS-SEXISM. I was entirely wrong from point A to point Z. I had NO RIGHT.
I’m going to work on being a better trans* ally because being an ally takes work and honest reflection. This is something Im ashamed to say I expect of others in matters of white privilege, masculine privilege, and hetero privilege but have not practiced myself in terms of cis privilege as I should be.
I apologize to all the trans*folks I hurt. Im collecting myself and doing my best to collect the cis-folks who are tone-policing you (as I did) in efforts to console me (which is bullshit).
Also, thank you to @queerdeviance for removing the screenshot of the conversation with my name, in order to protect my safety. Queer to queer, that’s appreciated. Please re-upload it, if it isn’t too triggering, with my name blocked out so that this is not forgotten.