loving

I can handle it if you don’t care about me. I can’t handle you leading me on and making me think I’m special. Just tell me now so I can process it and not get hurt instead of finding out for myself a year from now when I’m clinging onto a hope that wasn’t there in the first place. Don’t wait for me to make plans for us thinking we’ll get that far and don’t let me wonder how it feels to lay my head on your bony chest while we watch a scary movie and your heartbeat quickens and your grip tightens around my waist. Don’t let me wonder how it feels to lie down on your roof with you and watch the stars while a cold breeze goes by and I shiver, only to have you pull me closer and give me a warm feeling inside and outside my body. Please don’t wait. Tell me now. Tell me everything you need to say.
—  Because if you don’t, I’ll keep waiting.
And waiting.
And waiting.
But eventually, someone else will come. Someone who fills that empty space left by the one before. Someone with new and fresh ideas, someone who changes the way you see life and the universe. Someone that gives a whole new meaning to the word “love”, errasing the remanents of past heartbreaks. Someone who sees in you what no one else saw in you, with a whole new perspective of things. Someone who is actually worth fighting for. Someone who, no matter how tough things get, will always be there by your side to comfort you and push you if you get stuck. Someone who will pick up all those broken parts and glue them together, making sure you won’t fall apart again. Someone who will shine on you and guide you through the darkness that seems to take on everything, helping you to achieve all your goals. Someone who will actually appreciate everything you do for them, treating you the way you deserve. Some who will sing you to sleep and calm you when the nightmares torment your mind, and you feel like there’s no escaping from that twisted reality. Someone who will fall in love with all your little things, like the way you raise your tone when you talk about something that you love, or how you always cry with “Hachiko” even though you have already seen it 14 times. And how you say that it’s still sad, with your watery eyes. Someone who will cuddle you when it’s cold and raining outside, covering up you bare feet with a blanket cuz that person knows your feet are always cold, yet you never wear socks because you like the feeling of the cold floor tiles. Someone who will trace maps with all the moles on your face, creating constellations, because you will be their universe, the thing that person can’t live without. And finally, someone who will treasure you like the most valuable thing in the world, because that’s what you are, something so rare and so unique and so special, that the mere thought of losing you, will make their heart wrench.
—  And you will find that someone.