I’m determined to get my shit together this year. I’m gonna check off everything on my list, even the small things. I’m gonna find a job so I can start saving as much as I can for college, I’m gonna work my ass off in school to get the scholarship for the college I want, I’m gonna let my hair grow, I’m gonna get fit, I’m gonna take my board out of the corner and practice 24/7 so I can kick ass at the skate park and most importantly I’m gonna try to learn to love myself and be happy with who I am and what I’ve got. 2012…please don’t fuck this up for me.

So today’s pink t-shirt day, for bullying….I refuse to wear anything pink. Now before you start to judge me or call me rude, heartless, etc. listen to where I’m coming from. I refuse to wear anything pink today because wearing pink, isn’t going to it raise awareness, and it isn’t going to help stop bullying. Because a stupid pink shirt sure as hell didn’t help me when I was being beat up everyday for years. Every person who wears pink today wont truly understand that this won’t help, look at it thru my eyes..cause to me, all I see is a group of people all wearing pink.

Im going to get in shape. I’m so sick and tired of people making fun of me for being “to weak” or “to delicate” or being called a toothpick and having people joke about snapping me in half. I’m done.

I’m going to start running, build up my core, tone my legs, arms and stomach, eat healthier- more fruits, vegetables, no more junk or fast food, lots of water, a good nights sleep.

Maybe join a sports team I’m not asking to be jacked or anything, I just want to stop being seen as that little girl who’s to weak to do anything and who gets left out of things because people don’t think she can do it.

What happened to you? What happened to the person I knew? She’s completely changed you and it seems like I’m the only one who notices that. Your style, your hair, who you hang out with, who you talk to. It’s all different now. If you ask me that’s not being a very good girlfriend. Isn’t being in a relationship about loving one another and caring about each other and accepting each others flaws no matter what? I guess not….

5 am, still awake…wtf!? Can’t sleep, what do I do? Go on facebook and creep. I guess she’s kinda pretty, yeah know if you tilt your head and close one eye then close the other. That’s just my opinion tho. Best thing is, I think she’s scared of me (which is kinda a bonus) she always gives me looks in the hall and changes directions in the hall if she sees me and always clings to him and changes sides so she isn’t near my locker when they walk past me so I guess that’s good (for me anyway) ugh I just kinda wanna punch her in the face then push her down a flight of stairs. Who’s with me?