i can’t exactly say that i got much enjoyment out of my mental breakdown, but it has taught me a valuable lesson: life is far too short to be miserable, & nothing. & i mean, nothing in life is as concrete as it may seem. it’s all tangible.
your best friend might not be your best friend anymore if you change your music taste, change your location, end up burnt in a house fire. if you have friends who would be, no matter what, they’re golden. hold onto them. don’t waste your time with anybody who’s company you don’t enjoy. if you aren’t happy with your boyfriend, or girlfriend, end it. stop complaining. don’t spend your entire relationship creating drama about a partner who, in fact, is pretty much everything you want. you’ll regret it when they’re gone. this isn’t an american soap; your relationship isn’t just to keep your friends entertained.
stop feeling guilty about every decision you make. stop feeling guilty about everything you couldn’t control, everything you couldn’t fix. if you want to fix something, do it. if you can’t, don’t. but bloody try if you think fixing it can make you happy. don’t waste your intellect, waste your time, waste your energy sitting in a stuffy office doing a job you don’t enjoy so that you can keep a roof over your head. don’t spend every day waiting for the clock to turn to 5 so you can start living your life. do something you enjoy, or enjoy working a dead end job to get the money to do what you truly want to do. don’t let your work consume you. you hate your degree course? transfer. change. quit. or apply for things to do during your summer that make it worth while. don’t waste your time listening to music you don’t love. don’t waste hours watching films that someone else said you had to watch. it doesn’t matter what music you listen to, what films you watch, or if you do nothing but masturbate all day. who cares, if you’re having fun, do it.
if you’re a self destructive anxiety ridden depressive mess it isn’t the end of the world. be a whirlwind, be a hurricane, be a storm. but don’t suck other people up with you unless they want to enjoy the ride. life’s too short to make anybody else miserable. if you’ve got no reason to say that nasty thing, don’t say it. if you want to stop spinning, don’t give up once you start to feel dizzy. the world will come to a stand still in the end, you just have to stick it out. it’s possible, it’s do-able, & by god yes it’s hard but i promise you it will be worth it in the end.
your life is your own & by the time you read this you’ve probably already wasted 20 years of it. you might have wasted it exactly the way you wanted to, or exactly the way you didn’t. don’t waste another twenty. the world might be over in two.