Happy Sweaty Selfie Thursday!

I’m grateful to be on my fourth day, cigarette free. I am fascinated by how much easier quitting is than I perceived it to be. I am also amazed by what an emotional hold it has, rather than a physical one. The anticipated fear of letting go is much scarier than the actual act of releasing the habit. All great food for thought. Speaking of food, I am indeed a great deal more “hungry” than prior to quitting and prior to restarting this habit. If I have an initial weight gain this coming week, I know it is worth losing this nasty habit. I am remaining as mindful as I can, and attempting to be as kind and gentle with myself as possible. It is a beautiful day, and I am happy and grateful. Xoxo

Sherlolly Week Day Five; Molly Appreciation

When facing her own demise, Molly remembers the stitched together memories of her experiences with death.

Finding a tiny bird in her garden within a pile of rotten leaves - weeping to her father as she realised its sweet, colourful wings would never flutter again- wondering how and why it had met its end. Thinking that an explanation would soften the blow of its loss.

The first time she ever witnesses an autopsy is as a student and she never forgets it. The man is overweight, has a terrible receding hairline, and in death, a frown that looks unnatural on his face. She recalls the scrawled names on his arms; Caroline, Harry, Samantha, roman numerals coupled with each one. She hopes the scribbled notes she takes down will give them peace.

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Busy season is officially over. Both of my clients have filed their financials. Now I get to have my weekends back. 

So it’s time for some self love - booked my appointment for optometry next Tuesday (my prescription is outdated) and scheduled my wax appointment next monday. Now I gotta figure out when and where to get a facial and if I should do a full blown spa day. 

Tomorrow I am going to have an appointment at a medical weight loss clinic. It is time to lose that baby busy season weight. The clinic says participants could lose 8 pound per month during the weight loss phase. And this time they are going to make me to do 30-minutes of non-walking exercise. Ugh. I don’t know what I am going to do =( I hate running - my legs get itchy so badly whenever I run. And the most challenging thing is to find the time. I have a feeling that I could use the time in the early morning to exercise….only if I could wake up that early in the morning. So we will see - how this goes. 

My goal is to get my weight from 165 to 120. I still want to try to have baby #2 in 2016…so hopefully once I’m back to a healthy weight range, the ttc for baby #2 will be easier!!!

The last thing anyone wants to hear in the midst of the pain of loss is ‘life goes on. You have to move on with it’. So instead hear this: as time progresses, the wound will inevitably heal. You needn’t force it, just let yourself mend. You will. You will mend.

"Satisfaction is not in my nature."

When the battery in my watch died, I still wore it. There was something about the watch that said: It doesn’t matter what time it is. Think in months. Years. Someone loves you. Where are you going? There are some things you will never do. It doesn’t matter. There is no rush. Be the best prisoner you can be.