lonely-road

cause its my problem if i wanna pack up and run away
its my business if i feel the need to smoke and drink and sway
its my problem, its my problem if i feel the need to hide
and its my problem if i have no friends and feel i want to die
—  Marina And The Diamonds
Wanderer

Pain is inevitable. Joy comes and goes only to juxtapose, so you know where thoughts are headed.

Do I want to live at all?
Maybe I should pop them all?
Maybe I should hang or fall?
Maybe just one swift chop?
Maybe I should walk
when that red hand tells me stop?

So I’m wandering down this lonely road,
the only one I’ve ever known.
I’m still not quite sure where it goes,
so I sail my soul on a page full of prose.

She called me a wanderer and I didn’t even question it. That’s my og. Yea, she knows me more than most who’ve quit. And I’ll admit, I’ll admit- loving you was nice; dream sequences come to life. But it got too cold up in the zip so I just had to dip and add some more dots to the map like a forgotten treat; wandering…

Clem,
I can’t erase you from my dreams. And when my eyes open you’re the star of all my scenes. Life is such a film, you add drama but it seems that you constantly split seams with your comedic timing. And even when you’re ticking I’ll still cover you to save you from the explosion. I mean, I really love you and I need you to be okay with me. We can grow, plant a seed, and raise them to be serene. We have issues, but who doesn’t? Through our struggles, we’re still lusted. But you’re the one that I’ve entrusted to begin this wanderlust with.

Shame on me for hanging.
Shame on you for cutting the chase.
Shame on us for changing.
Find beauty in all of our mistakes.

There is only so far we can go in this cramped space
The front seat of a car was never meant for this kind of activity
Even with the seats reclined I can’t get comfortable
You need me closer still
I know the steering wheel is pressing into your side
But that’s not the focus right now
By the noises you’re making I can tell you’re getting much closer to coming undone
By the way you shake I know the end is upon us
I whisper let it all out
As you cry in my arms
curled up on this lonely road after your parents told you they could never love a son like you
No matter what I’ll love you and I’m proud of you
—  One sentence shouldn’t erase be able to erase a lifetime of love

my future partner is probably texting their bae right now about how they’re gonna be together forever. sike, see you in ten years bitch

me: *gives an answer*

teacher: class, do you agree or disagree?

you: well I disagree beca-

me:

"why do you always wear black"
cause i’m ready for ur funeral bitch

I edit the look of my blog whenever you edit my feelings.