*These text messages were received in response to my amazing earlier post about the professional snuggler who makes $60 an hour to snuggle with strangers*
10:41 AM, Jul 18
boy: So what’s your cuddle fee?
me: I’m working on a business plan now. Will let you know. You can have a discount if you purchase extended blocks of time
boy: How about you let me hold the money you make from these cuddles? That way you can concentrate on getting cuddles and I’ll manage the finances :)
me: Nicca. I hold the money. You can hold my pocket. You think I’m one of these simple, off the turnip truck ass bitchez? Nah boo. Hoes up…pimps down
boy: I got something you can hold after you get your little ass back from the attitude adjustment store
me: yeah yeah yeah. I dont know where the attitude store is…so I ain’t goin!!!
me: Fuck you Dad
boy: Maria Elisa!! You go ahead and go right back up those stairs cause you are not going to that concert with your friends. I dont care who this Jodeci guy is! Maybe you should have thought of that before you used adult language
me: I love you