loafness

Another Day

Another Day

beautifulblonde85 asked:

Hi!! I’m having really bad anxiety right now and I was wondering if you could do a reader and dean to the song another day by meat loaf a little angst and lots of fluff? Could the reader be dealing with that too? Thanks sweetie!! Your stories always help!! Love you lots!! 😘😘

A/N: This may upset some people.

Dean watched as she walked inside the bunker, his heart aching unsure of what to do. He knew it was getting bad for her. He knew she wasn’t coping. The signs where there, she was starting to worry about everything. It was a simple comment to begin with what if the credit card they tried to pay for the motel on got declined, what if the police car that drove past was looking for them, what if the reason Dean hadn’t answered the phone was because the Djinn they were hunting had got him. It all snowballed, the what if’s. He knew she was struggling.

Life for Y/N was apple pie and picket fences up until a few years ago. She was a suburban girl, loving parents a pretty little sister and overprotective big brother. She was popular; fashionable, she modelled for her Mum’s clothing store catalogues. Dean had met her then, they were both young every time he went through town and thanks to some round about planning it was quite a bit, they would meet up. She refused to date him then, he was gone too much. She didn’t want the strain, but it worked out for the better in the end. They got to know each other pretty well. A new thing for them both. She was always so happy and bubbly, she loved life and didn’t have a care in the world.

It changed not long after she turned 23, the first person she called was Dean. Her Mum was dead and her Dad missing. He watched as the anxiety of what happened took over, he sat at her place watching as she struggled to cope. He watched her knee constantly bounce, her hands always shifting. He looked at the scratches on her legs as they itched with her stress. His heart broke every time he spoke to her and her soft voice came out in a harsh tone. He stood by her though he knew this wasn’t easy.

It only got worse when the news came in that it as her Dad who killed her Mum. She collapsed crying, screaming. It didn’t seem right, not to either of them. Dean did some digging and found her Dad, dead in a sewer. He knew then what it was. A shape shifter, he told her then all about his life what he really did. Why he was gone. He watched that night as his sweet Y/N left behind her apple pie life and vowed to kill the monster that destroyed her family.

They found it too late, her brother and sister both killed. Dean killed the bastard that did this too her. He sat with her as she cried, he stayed by her for weeks as she struggled to function to move. He considered getting her help. But knew it was pointless. She was glad in the end that he never did, Dean was all she needed to get through it. The patience he had for her, the willingness to be strong when she was weak. It was what she needed.

Her breaking point was when someone called Dean, a demon was terrorising a small town. Y/N heard what was going on and vowed that day to never let anyone go through what she did. She followed Dean and became a hunter herself, Dean watched as she changed, while his girl was still there she was no longer all about fashion, lipstick and magazines. She was now about the family business; saving people, hunting things.

Overtime she got better, their relationship grew from friends to partners, lovers, soul mates and everything in between, he watched her smile and laugh again. He melted his heart to think she was back. It made him feel complete again seeing that smile or hearing her soft voice. He soon realised there was triggers that set it off, times that made it bad. And triggers that helped. He learn’t them, memorised them and used them. If he could see something that would set her off he would move hell and high water to avoid it. He never considered it a burden, he loved this woman more than life itself and this was nothing to him. No more work than making her a coffee. He got hopeful that she was coming back to him, the smiles, and the laughs at his stupid jokes. As she stopped to look during that moments hesitation as they passed a store. They were all signs of hope.

She loved him all the more for it. Some days she had no idea how much he did, what he did to avoid those triggers for her. Passing on a case that might be too much at that time, driving an extra 6 hours to avoid a town that brings back bad memories, keeping things tidy and clean in the boot, weapons organised so she felt ready for battle. That she could grab and go quickly. He did it all. She didn’t realised some days how much he worried. Some days it was days before she had fought back enough to focus on life again. The days in between when she lost it, when she collapsed to the floor crying, when he watched at she wrapped her arms around her chest trying to stop her heart from running away with the speed that it beat, or the panic over the small things.

He listened as she sat in the bath and cried, he sat on the other side of the door his own tears falling. Knowing nothing he did right now would make her feel better. He knew what she was doing, the same thing he was praying. She prayed a lot for help. It never came. But it never deterred her, she prayed every time. For her own healing, for Deans she knew how much this hurt him. But she couldn’t help it. She knew he wanted to fix it, to save her to fight her demons for her but he couldn’t. He helped but ultimately there was nothing he could do.

She sat in the bathroom crying into a now cold bath. This last case was a mess try as hard as they did and still that family died, still the poor 7 year old girl lived after watching that damn thing eat her family. Wendigo. That son of a bitch has ruined that girl’s life, a new wave of tears fell. What if they got there sooner? What if they hadn’t of stopped at the gas station for the drink and toilet break? What if they had of moved faster? All this could have prevented it. Now Y/N knew what she had to do, to get fitter, move faster, drive quicker. Next time she wont let it happen. Next time…. She started crying again there would always be a next time, she often wondered what life would be like if she hadn’t of lost her parents, would she still be who she was? Wearing latest fashions? Modelling? Helping her Mum in the store? Would she have ended up with Dean? The man who she loved more than life itself, the only one who brings light into the darkness, the only one who while he can’t bring that light permanently can calm her enough in the darkest moments to try and show her the light.

The tears falling into the water around her, the prayers being sent, Dean had enough. He couldn’t take it anymore. He opened the door, looking down at her. He climbed into the bath gasping at the cold water as it seeped through his jeans. He didn’t care about the clothes; the cold after the initial shock didn’t bother him. He pulled her back into his arms wrapping her up. Kissing her head. He held her while she cried. After a while, he pulled her out the bath. Wrapping her in a robe and carried her to bed. She had tried herself out. Stripping down and drying off he climbed in next to her, and held her tight. He felt her heart pounding. He knew she was going through things that they could have done, what if? He knew she was thinking about quitting, that she then would hate herself leaving people without help. He knew her mind was jumping from one thought to another and that she couldn’t focus on any one thing. That this was making things worse. He reached behind him and grabbed the stereo remote turning on her music, cranking it up to block out her thoughts. She started to tell him off, Sam would be trying to sleep by now. But Dean soothed her.
‘It’s ok Baby, he knows. He understands.’ He rubbed her back, running his hand through her wet tangled hair. She caved and snuggled in closed. Both knew she wouldn’t sleep for a few days, but it wouldn’t matter neither would Dean. Not until the worst was over.

During the worst of these she wonders how she still make it through, how she will wake tomorrow. So many times she actually thought she was having a heart attack, so many times she thought her heart would literally jump from her chest. That the pain in her body would actually kill her. But it never did, morning came and she was always still here.

Dean kissed her head, her forehead and then her lips. He missed his girl; he knew she would come back. It was just a matter of when. She would never be the girl he met all those years ago. No, but it didn’t matter, she was even more amazing now, more beautiful. She was stronger than anyone he knew, she was more amazing that any person alive. She battled this daily and won. Every second of every day she won. The fact that even in the darkest moments, she was still here made her a winner, a fighter. She sent him into awe again and again. That first smile she gave, the one that reached her eyes and showed even for a second that she was there still fighting made his heart flutter like a school boy.

He lent down and kissed her lips.
‘I love you baby. Yesterday, today, tomorrow, every day.’ He whispered kissing her again. She fell into a restless sleep waking as the clocked turned to 1 am she was grateful she had made it through another day.

tbh i don’t like it when people post pictures of really bland or simple meals and go “white people food!” because it’s actually uh, specifically poor white people food
like i know beans on toast and macaroni with ketchup sounds really gross but that’s what a lot of my family (poor irish) grew up eating and idk it’s weird to think about it
trust me, i’m sure anyone would prefer a meal with spices and well-cooked food

A girl walks into a supermarket. She picks up a banana, a can of soup, and a loaf of bread.

She then walks up to the cash register to pay.

The cashier looks at her and the items she has and says, “I can tell you’re single.”

She smiles and responds, “How do you know that?”

He says, “Because you’re ugly.”

A reader wrote and asked, “How do you make the cute little squares on the White Russian jelly shots?”

Since I said I would describe the process if anyone expressed interest, I’m following through. I have used this method for embedded shapes only once, but enjoyed amazing results.

Note: The original directions for adding embedded shapes did NOT call for chilling the coffee mixture until partially set before adding the squares. It is entirely possible that adding the white (milk) gelatin squares directly to the room temperature coffee mixture works perfectly, however I was afraid they might sink.

Here’s the recipe with the ingredients and measurements. And if you missed the jelly shot hoopla, check out yesterday’s blog post about White Russian jelly shots with more pictures.

This is what I did. 

  1. Have ready two 8x4-inch (1 pound) loaf pans.
  2. Pour the milk into a small saucepan and sprinkle the gelatin over the milk. Let the gelatin soften for a couple of minutes. Over low heat, stir the milk and gelatin together until the gelatin is completely dissolved, about 5 minutes. Pour the milk/gelatin mixture into a loaf pan. After it has cooled to room temperature, quick set it in the freezer on a level spot for 15 minutes or so, or until firm. (Don’t let it freeze.)
  3. Remove the milk mixture from the freezer and run a thin sharp knife around the edges of the pan. Using a very thin, flexible spatula, carefully remove the white gelatin from the pan onto a cutting board. Cut the gelatin into squares, or use small cutters to cut into shapes, such as circles or diamonds. Refrigerate shapes on plate or non-stick surface for 10 minutes.
  4. While the milk layer chills, pour the coffee into a small saucepan and sprinkle with the gelatin. Let the gelatin soften for a couple of minutes. Over low heat, stir the coffee and gelatin together until the gelatin is completely dissolved, about 5 minutes. Take off the heat and add the vodka and Kahlúa. Once the liquid is room temperature, pour into a loaf pan and put in refrigerator to set slightly, about 30 minutes.
  5. Remove the coffee mixture from refrigerator. One at a time, place a milk gelatin shape into the coffee mixture. Some shapes may sink at first, but after a few seconds they’ll surface. I used a toothpick to arrange them into a pleasing pattern on the coffee layer. The toothpick also helped to upright any rectangles that turned on their sides.
  6. Cover the jelly shot loaf pan with plastic wrap or foil, and place back in the refrigerator. Chill at least 8 hours or overnight.
  7. Remove the loaf pan from the refrigerator. Run a thin, sharp knife around the edges of the pan. Using a thin, flexible spatula, carefully remove the gelled loaf onto a cutting board. Cut into cubes and serve. (Fingerprints show, so be careful the way you handle it.)

bakedonpizza asked:

10 13 22 :D

10 a song that makes you sad: I would say either Always by Panic! at the Disco or.. Probably I Want Crazy by Hunter Hayes for reasons I won’t disclose but yeah
13 favourite 80s song: PARADISE BY THE DASHBOARD LIGHT BY MEAT LOAF STFU
22 a song that moves you forward: like.. motivation?? bc that would be Dear Maria by atl or Move Along by the All-American Rejects or smthn idk
thnk u!!!