living in recovery

I just wanted to give myself and others some perspective on my journey! This isn’t an ordinary before and after obviously! And no I didn’t mess up the order of my pictures! Hehe
The picture on the far left was from 2011-2012.. I was morbidly obese weighing in at around 300lbs. The picture in the middle was me around 140-150 and I thought I looked great.. This was taken in maybe 2013 early 2014! But in reality I had a horrid relationship with food! I lost my period and I restricted so much! The picture on the far right was about a month ago!(2015) I now weigh about 195(ish)! I have a much healthier relationship with food! Much healthier relationship with the gym! I now love going to the gym! It’s part of my life! Yes I’m chubby per se! But I love myself and I have come so far from both of the other pictures! Now I lift heavy 5-6 days a week(of course with some cardio in there)! Actually have friends!! And have a more healthy relationship with food! Lovelies recovery and change is possible! Anything is possible once you put your minds to it! !

50 Things to Live For
  1. Cuddling with my dog
  2. Enjoying a hot coffee on a Sunday afternoon
  3. Snuggling into my bed
  4. Hugging my mom
  5. Laughing with my friends
  6. Dancing when no one is watching
  7. Hot showers on cold days
  8. Singing while driving in the car
  9. The first bite of a S'more
  10. 90s rap
  11. The massage my hair stylist gives me when he washes my hair
  12. Watching someone smile when they see me
  13. Making Christmas cookies with my friend
  14. Seeing a new place for the first time
  15. Clean sheets
  16. Watching bad reality TV with my mom
  17. Starting a new book
  18. Finishing a book
  19. Getting a massage
  20. Eating a pulled pork sandwich
  21. Enjoying a bowl of my favorite pho
  22. Playing tennis with old people
  23. Driving somewhere for no reason
  24. Watching the 49ers win
  25. The smell of asphalt after summer rain
  26. Seeing how clean the world looks after new snow
  27. Helping other people
  28. Birthday dinners
  29. Attending my Nona’s 100th birthday
  30. Stretching out my legs by going on a run
  31. Doing work that is hard but productive
  32. Star gazing
  33. Lying in the grass and just breathing
  34. A cup of tea and biscuits
  35. The first sip of water in the morning
  36. My cat mewing at me when he sees me
  37. Seeing life through a microscope (literally)
  38. Learning something new
  39. Getting a new stamp on my passport
  40. Biting into a fresh strawberry
  41. Feeling infinite
  42. The sense of belonging I feel with my best friend
  43. Going for walks with my dog
  44. Learning to play the piano
  45. Seeing how my favorite tv shows end
  46. Lounging in the sun
  47. Surfing
  48. Skiing
  49. Ben and Jerry’s ice cream
  50. Making silly faces at toddlers and seeing them laugh
Take a broken girl, treat her like a famous princess, give her the best seats in the house. Buy her coffee and cigarettes for the coming down, books and bathroom things for the days ahead. Tell her something true when all she’s known are lies. Tell her God loves her. Tell her about forgiveness, the possibility of freedom, tell her she was made to dance in white dresses. All these things are true.
—  Jamie Tworkowski - ‘To Write Love On Her Arms’
The day that holding a cupcake in my hand does not bring me happiness is the day I no longer want to exist. That does not mean I lack spirituality. That means I appreciate the sweet things in life and that I really like cupcakes!
—  Lena Slaughter
Recovery win!

Hey you guys i have great newss wohaa! I went to have ice cream with my mum spontaneously!! She asked me and i went without considering the situtaion for too long, wow! Actually i am the one who plans everything ahead and there is nothing that can interfer in my agenda, but today i simply stoof up from my desk and escorted my mum to the beautiful cafe and had two sorts of ice cream: hazelnut and pistacchio!!!!

This is a great way to look at it. We love this! #Repost @thehillsclinic with @repostapp.
Healing doesnt mean the damage never existed, it means the damage no longer controls your life! #live #letgo #takecharge #takecontrol #seekadvise #seekhelp #treatment #therapy #recovery #mentalillness #mentalbattle #mentalhealth #sydneyaustralia #privatehospital #YAtheloft #thehillsclinic