literature

"I thought I would be okay when he left," she said. "But I’m not, and there’s no poetic way of putting it. I feel like I’ve been punched in the stomach a hundred times and I’ll never be happy again.

"And I almost wish he’d come back and save me, like some superhero. But I’m not even sure that it would make me feel better. I’m not sure I can go back at all."

—  S.Z. // Excerpt from a book I’ll never write #156
Don’t fall in love with a girl who only 
functions during Tuesdays
 and Fridays and is dead during the rest of the week. You will have 
to pump her chest—revive her heart—using your own hands until
 you’re weary and you yourself are having a hard time
 catching your breath; while she’s lying
 still on the floor with her eyes open but not seeing anything. You will
 then end up telling her ‘have a good sleep, love’ when in reality, 
you want her to grab your neck
 and kiss you nonsense.
 You will have to double your existence so you could fill the
 void within her—something
 that she will never ask from 
you; but because you love her,
you’ll still do it. ‘Walk by yourself,’ she
 will tell you some days. But you can’t leave
 her alone. So instead you’ll tell her 
’no, love, we’re going to travel 
together’ and you will then teach
 her how to walk again. ‘Why are you
 doing this?’ she will ask you, her 
eyes as empty as she looks.
 A big lump in your throat will
 then start to form with the certainty
t hat she, in any second, will tell you 
to stop being patient and leave
 her alone. With this big lump comes
 also the certainty that you, without
any doubt and hesitation, will tell 
her: ‘I’m here to watch you live fully during your good days, to celebrate with you and to always, always revive 
your heart during your bad days, when you can’t live for yourself.
—  i.v.c., i’m sorry you fell in love with a sad girl