if you can’t fall asleep at night because of all the thoughts in your head, this is for you:

try keeping a notebook/paper & a pen beside your bed and write down whatever thoughts are circling your head, no matter how silly they could be. I do this and it helps take certain thoughts out of my head and makes my mind quieter so I can try to sleep. 

1. i mostly exhaust myself these days

2. i am mostly exhausted by my obsession with always having to: be more, do more, be better, constantly learn, be whole, be entire, save the world, save a body, save something that is not myself, save my mama’s traumas, be more than my flaws, carry them all the way home (not the one i’m yet to build for myself), be a thing that is yet to happen

3. i wake up at 6am and go to pee. i come back and try to lull my body back into a deep sleep but am caught between every thought i have about the day, work i need to do, how the anxiety makes me want to scream into myself

4. i never got to be normal as a kid, normal or ordinary is not a thing i got to do. i have trained myself into believing that i still do not get to be normal or ordinary

5. i am tired of having to try to be perfect, a varnished thing, i cannot be an acute imperfection, I must sand myself down into only good ;

6. i realise my favourite colour is really blue, the pale and almost kind, the dusky one that is both warm and cool at once, the kind that is both water and sky, a myth of sorts

7. i wonder if i will ever write anything complete again, a story that has some meat to it, that stops sounding like all my unanswered questions pried out onto bodies i have known, bodies that ask for forgiveness only on the page

8. what i do know is this: most nights i go to bed early. i have stopped socialising. i prefer to run and take naps. i prefer the silence or the candles flickering a prayer against a white surface. i spend most evenings now wondering if for a moment i could stop, where it would take me. maybe i’d climb a mountain or run a bigger distance or take up a new hobby. maybe i’d know how to love, it would come naturally, big and wide, movement like instead of this - moulding, moulding, moulding myself, an early morning panic attack or always a lover gone too soon, blue - the almost kind. 

the mortal instruments 30 day challenge

Day 2- Favorite ShadowHunter

ALEC LIGHTWOOOD!

While Clary and Jace are awesome, Alec is my favourite followed closely by Izzy. Alec is just awesome and i’m not sure how to describe him you know? he is very blunt-but most of the lightwoods are-so you can almost always tell what’s going on in his head. He is very protective-a quality that is very important- and he loves his siblings, family and Magnus very much and it shows in how he acts around them.

There’s a quote from the Bane chronicles that says ‘If Jace was gold, catching the light and the attention, Alec was silver: so used to everyone else looking at Jace that that was where he looked too, so used to living in Jace’s shadow that he didn’t expect to be seen. Maybe it was enough to be the first person to tell Alec that he was worth being seen ahead of anyone in a room, and of being looked at longest.

 And silver, though few people knew it, was a rarer metal than gold’

That just summed up Alec, he may not be the flashiest person ever but he is always in the background and he will always be there for you and that is so rare now a days because people are always willing to stab people in the back. Alec doesn’t do that and i adore his character because of it

(Art of Alec is from the flower series Cassandra Jean has done. link to her blog here)

youtube

Do you see the potential in everyone? That’s probably your inner teacher talking.

your rat is problematic: alba
  • uncooperative when I need to go to bed
  • pushes other rats out of the way to get to the water bottle
  • fights with younger rats for treats
  • put on a front of being shy when we first met but turned into the craftiest motherfucker I have ever dealt with
  • reinforces negative stereotypes about rats by climbing into my trashcans whenever possible
  • literally stuck in my trashcan right now
  • actual trash baby
Why You’ll Never Get Over The Signs

Aries: The fire raging inside of them was like nothing you’ve ever seen before. It was dangerous but enticing.

Taurus: They made you feel safe in their arms. Protecting you from all of life’s demons and making sure that you were always surrounded by comfort and beauty.

Gemini: Showed you how to have fun. Helped you come out of your shell and realize that there’s a lot of people like you out there, and you’ll never have to be without a friend.

Cancer: Opened their heart for you to move in. You felt at home with them and wouldn’t hesitate to start a family.

Leo: They gave you a romance like a Hollywood movie. They showered you with gifts and affection. They loved to see you smile. You were their King/Queen ruling beside them.

Virgo: Always helped you work for your goals. They kept you grounded and let you know when you were wrong. They helped you grow a lot as a person.

Libra: They hated to see you as anything but happy. Tried their best to always keep you in a good mood and felt honored to be in your presence. 

Scorpio: They loved you passionately with every fiber of their being like no one else ever did, and they would do anything for you.

Sagittarius: They showed you a whole new world and distracted you from whatever stress you were under. They really showed you how to live life to its fullest every day.

Capricorn: They wanted to build an empire with you. The both of you against the world and no one could stop you from becoming the ultimate power couple.

Aquarius: Opened your mind to things you never even dreamed possible before. You loved that they would always fight for what’s right and they always fought for their right to be an individual. A true free spirit.

Pisces: You admired their creativity. They were always dreaming of something and you couldn’t wait to come home to hear them tell you about their daydreams. They believed anything was possible if you put your mind to it, and they made you believe it too.

theboneshack asked:

What horror movies do you absolutely recommend? Also, what are your favorite movies available on Netflix instant streaming (if you even use Netflix)?

Ten on Netflix:
+ Starry Eyes (also on the list of “always recommended,” one of my favorites of    all time
+ Kill List (ditto)
+ The Taking of Deborah Logan
+ Dead End
+ The Canal
+ Pontypool (also always recommended)
+ The Sacrament
+ I Saw the Devil
+ Honeymoon
+ Housebound (horror comedy)

I was about to type out my ten always recommended but it was pretty much identical to this list.

The 100 Best, Most Interesting Blogs and Websites of 2015

DailyTekk has compiled a list of the best blogs and websites of 2015 in the categories of: news and current events, most helpful, most fun, unique, design and art, and the best websites for men and women.

Carefully chosen for their intelligent, fun and beautiful content, they spent an entire year visiting many sites to deliver one of the most important lists you will read in 2015 online. 

Keep reading

trans boy appreciation post

shoutout to chubby trans boys
shoutout to fat trans boys
shoutout to skinny trans boys
shoutout to trans boys who like dresses and traditionally “female” clothes
shoutout to trans boys who wear makeup or paint their nails
shoutout to trans boys who can’t/don’t bind
shoutout to trans boys who don’t like stereotypical masculine things
shoutout to trans boys who do like stereotypical masculine things
shoutout to trans boys who hate their bodies
shoutout to trans boys who aren’t taken seriously
shoutout to trans boys with big boobs
shoutout to trans boys who are okay with their bodies and don’t want surgery
shoutout to trans boys with really bad dysphoria who hate looking at themselves in the mirror
shoutout to gay trans boys who get asked “why don’t you just stay as a girl and be normal?”
shoutout to the trans boys who don’t use he/him pronouns
shoutout to trans boys on their periods
shoutout to trans boys who cry
shoutout to trans boys with long hair
shoutout to trans boys with curves
shoutout to all the trans boys who get called “butch lesbians”
shoutout to the trans boys too scared to use public bathrooms
shoutout to trans boys who aren’t hairy
shoutout to mentally ill trans boys
shoutout to disabled trans boys
shoutout to the trans boys who can’t afford to transition
shoutout to trans boys who are too scared to come out
shoutout to the trans boys who are happy

shoutout to all trans boys for being the bestest, realest, most hardcore men ever. i love you guys. stay strong.

singer/songwriters born under each sign

aries: matty healy (of The 1975)

You’re cold and I burn, I guess I’ll never learn. 

taurus: stevie wonder

The many sounds that meet our ears, the sights our eyes behold will open up our merging hearts, and feed our empty souls. I believe when I fall in love with you, it will be forever.

gemini: bob dylan

Once upon a time you dressed so fine, you threw the bums a dime in your prime, didn’t you? People’d call, say, “beware doll, you’re bound to fall.”

cancer: beck

When a moon is throwing shadows, you can’t save the ones you’ve caught in battle. Oh, don’t leave me on my own.

leo: mick jagger (of The Rolling Stones) 

If I could stick my pen in my heart and spill it all over the stage

virgo: florence welch (of Florence + the Machine) 

And I don’t need the birds, let them fly away; and I don’t want the clouds, they never seem to stay. I don’t want no future, I don’t need no past; one bright moment is all I ask.

libra: marina diamandis (of Marina and the Diamonds) 

I’m your carnal flower, I’m your bloody rose, pick my petals off and make my heart explode. I’m your deadly nightshade, I’m your cherry tree, you’re my one true love, I’m your destiny. 

scorpio: lorde 

There’s a humming in the restless summer air and we’re slipping off the course that we prepared. But in all chaos, there is calculation; dropping glasses just to hear them break. 

sagittarius: taylor swift

We are too busy dancing to get knocked off our feet. Baby we’re the new romantics, the best people in life are free. 

capricorn: alex turner (of Arctic Monkeys)

I’d probably still adore you with your hands around my neck, or I did last time I checked. Not shy of a spark, a knife twists at the thought that I should fall short of the mark. 

aquarius: conor oberst (of Bright Eyes) 

I do not read the reviews. No, I am not singing for you.

pisces: grimes 

Dreams, they feel like memories when I dream of you. Time won’t stay, it’ll stretch itself out from a minute to days, and I’d like to think that we don’t dream to wipe it off.