Bleach characters, you just found out that Hisagi and As Nodt are dating! How do you respond?

As requested by anon. :)

Kensei: [opens mouth]

Kensei: [closes mouth]

 [opens mouth]

Kensei: [closes mouth]

Mashiro: Wow, Shuhei! I think you made him so angry that he can’t even speak!

Hisagi: Or maybe he’s just trying to think of something supportive to say?

Kensei: [angry glare o’ death]

Hisagi: Or possibly not.

Mashiro: Personally, I think it’s great!

Mashiro: Having a boyfriend who wears a spiked face mask will DEFINITELY trick people into thinking you’re cooler than you are!

Hisagi: Thanks?

Tosen: Shuhei, when I told you that it was important for the warrior to embrace fear…..this isn’t exactly what I meant.

Tosen: Kudos on really diving in, though. 

Byakuya: When I took back Senbonzakura, As Nodt declared that he was lonely.

Byakuya: This loneliness clearly drove him into the arms of Hisagi Shuhei.

Byakuya: Basically I am an excellent matchmaker.

Rukia: As Nodt has no lips, though.

Rukia: That is going to make make-outs a little hard, right?

Matsumoto: S’okay! Hisagi gets terrible nosebleeds and passes out if he gets even a whiff of “sexy”!

Matsumoto: So it’s perfect!

Rukia: As Nodt does seem like someone who’d be cool with blood…

Kira: Hisagi always did work hard to face his fear.

Kira: Now he is dating fear.

Kira: It is as if Ulquiorra wrote a romantic comedy.


Ulquiorra: How did you know what my hobby was? 

Lisa: This may be my favorite Bleach couple ever.

Lisa: If you saw them walking down the street - one guy with spiky hair and an obscene face tattoo, the other wearing a spiked face mask - you’d think, “Here it is. The most punk-ass gay couple of all time.”

Lisa: But then you’d talk to them.

Lisa: And realize that actually, the two biggest dweebs found each other.

Lisa: Slow clap, guys. Slow clap.


As Nodt:

As Nodt: I don’t know whether to be offended or pleased.