Usually, my legs are just an ‘ache’. I find myself lucky, that only during 'that time of the month’ is when my legs actually hurt to the point of disablement.
Unfortunately, I have not been that lucky this month.
First off, lemme back up some…
At work (beginning April 8th), I was sitting in a chair that was not the best - it did not adjust; and for a six feet tall woman, it was practically on the ground. It started to really hurt my body. Lord knows the effort standing up is for me with my heavy ass legs - - sitting on the GROUND? Are you kidding me?! I, then, got sick with strep throat. Once I was able to return to work, a friend provided me with a chair, that sits higher (“tall people chair”, as I call it) - but the bad chair had taken it’s toll - I could barely walk, it was disabling. Limping, stumbling, and just…struggling in general.
But, it got better with the arrival of my new chair. Getting up & down was easier, and I slowly started to recover - when…around May 5th - I stood up from my desk and something…popped.
It was my knee. And it was LOUD. Everyone around heard it. And, since that pop…I have lived in constant chronic pain.
Chronic pain is one thing. Awaking, always knowing you’re going to hurt in some way - but CONSTANT chronic pain? That is a different beast all together! Not only are you gonna hurt, but you’re gonna hurt BAD and all over. It got to where I was laying in bed, thinking 'will I be able to lift my leg today?’ That is a scary feeling. I have no insurance, and did not get my job until after the deadline for ObamaCare this year. And this….is rough, man.
The best way I can describe it, for someone who has no idea, is this scenario:
Imagine you have just run The Boston Marathon - which is around 30 miles. And you did it with a 'run, walk, run, walk’ method. Okay, so, you’ve ran it. You’re physically healthy! You pushed through! You’re good! You’re proud! Good job! ….aaaaand it’s the next morning.
That ache? The soreness? The inability to move without stiffness or pain that your imaginary self is now relating to? THAT is the way I feel 95% of the time now.
It is miserable. And it is exhausting. Gosh, I’m SO tired…
I also have a small bunion on my left foot, caused by my compression. Which, doesn’t help things at all. Just adds to my pain, actually. I’m hoping to be able to afford new shoes for my birthday.
I’m going to the doctor tuesday. But, I already know, powering through is about all I can do & cross my fingers that it calms down.
Lemme just say, the people who live in constant chronic pain - full time, 24/7 - I have a newfound respect for them.
I want to walk. I need to walk. But, right now…walking is a struggle. A tiring & exhausting one, for sure.