lingoes

[CONTINUED]

image

KYLE: Have we relapsed to the fourth grade? Is that what’s happened?
KYLE: Is this some kind of cross-dimensional time warp that I’ve slipped into?
KYLE: Where people still think it’s okay to use the phrase ‘cool beans’?
KYLE: Is that it?
STAN: Hey, don’t rag on me just because my lingo is more hip than yours.
KYLE: Oh my God.
KYLE: Hearing that sentence almost physically hurt me.

image

KYLE: No, wait. I’m pretty sure it did.
KYLE: Yep.
KYLE: I’m going into cardiac arrest.
STAN: You’re just jealous, don’t deny it.
KYLE: Jealous of what?
STAN: That I’m cooler than you.
STAN: I’ll give you some time to come to terms with that.

image

KYLE: Oh, I’m sorry. Which one of us just used the word ‘hip’ in sincerity?
KYLE: Was it me?
STAN: Hip is still a thing.
STAN: Because I am it.
KYLE: Oh my God, stop.
STAN: Pull up your phone and Google hip. I’m the only search result you’ll get.
STAN: Just pictures of me striking this pose.

image

STAN: Bam!
KYLE: Really.
KYLE: Really, Stan?
KYLE: Cause I’m pretty sure I’d get the same effect from Googling the words ‘complete idiot’.
STAN: I am no longer Stan.
STAN: I am Coolguy Hotface. And I’m amazing.

image

KYLE: Okay, well.
KYLE: I think that’s about enough for me today.
KYLE: Yeah.
KYLE: I am well and truly at my limit.
STAN: Dude, though. Seriously. My awesome alter ego aside.
STAN: Are we cool?

image

KYLE: I really want to say no. Just for the plain fact that you called yourself ‘Coolguy Hotface’.
KYLE: But yeah.
KYLE: We’re okay.
STAN: As weird as it’s gonna sound.
STAN: I missed you lecturing me about how lame I am.
KYLE: I missed having someone to lecture about how lame they are.

image

STAN: I missed you, dude.
KYLE: Yeah.
KYLE: Yeah, I missed you too.

anonymous asked:

If you don't mind me asking but how old are you? I swear I'm not a perv! Scouts honor 👌

Ha! I don’t mind you asking at all! I’m 27. But don’t worry—I’m totally hip to your young person’s lingo.

image

Unbeknownst to Bilbo, ‘blunt the knives’ is actually sliightly out-of-fashion dwarf slang for some sort of sex act (hand job, blow job, or anything else, really), hence Bofur’s very wink-wink-nudge-nudge “Oohh d’ya hear that lads? He says we’ll blunt the kniiives!” Only, of course, what would’ve turned into a bawdy song gets somewhat hijacked by Kili and Fili, who are too young to recognise this old-fogey lingo.