A young man awakens in a field. He has no clue where he is, but it happens to be his birthday. Though it was 13 years ago he was given life, it is only today he will have to solve difficult puzzles with the consequence of death.

What will the name of this young man be?

> John: Pester your best bro.

You don’t really know what possessed you to do it.

Maybe it’s because you spent a portion of your day just talking to other Dave’s, so you, for the lack of a better way to put it, started to miss the one you knew. You already know he isn’t going to answer, just like the other times you tried, but here you are, hopping on pesterchum without another thought.

— ectoBiologist [EB] started pestering turntechGodhead [TG] at ??:?? —

EB: daaaaaaaave!!
EB: dave!
EB: hello??
EB: oh jeez, are we still playing this game?
EB: come on, dude! i promise i’ll even act all surprised whenever you finally decide to say something, and let you fill up your own prankster’s gambit.
EB: i’m serious too. so serious that i’m writing it down on a random gear in your planet. it’s one of those closest to your apartment, so you can’t miss it!
EB: see, it says: i solemnly swear i’ll let dave strider have a full prankster’s gambit if he lets me know he’s still listening.
EB: so say something already.
EB: even your usual irony will do.
EB: still nothing?
EB: well, ok. who knew dave strider would be so shy? hehehe.
EB: i’ll just keep typing stuff at you until you do reply, so here goes!
EB: ok, so today i visited your planet again, right? the crocs were sooo crazy.
EB: it’s almost like they’ve been waiting for me, because they kept nak nak nak’ing and saying you’re alive! you’re here!
EB: i thought it was kind of weird. i mean, why wouldn’t i be alive? EB: and what were they doing waiting for me anyway?
EB: they’re supposed to be your game consorts, right?
EB: bluh, this is just confusing me.
EB: anyway, after they settled down (and it took a while, they were really that excited to have me around, hehe, it’s cute), we just sort of… chilled out??
EB: they kept nak’ing, but aside from that, they didn’t do much of anything.
EB: when i left, they seemed genuinely sad. they really must have been that lonely.
EB: this is a sign that you need to come out from where you’re hiding, dave. just so you can remind these crocs that you haven’t forgotten them!!
EB: or me.
EB: or rose and jade and
EB: do you know where they are right now, dave?
EB: i haven’t seen them in a while either, and they haven’t told me anything— just like you haven’t.
EB: but that’s ok. you guys are probably just busy with something, so hurry up and finish whatever it is. i really need a sign that you guys are still there!!
EB: (and if you are, and you’re just trying to psych me out, then oh man, that’s double the prankster’s gambit. you got me real good!)
EB: anyway… i should go.
EB: i’ll bug you again tomorrow.
EB: bye, dave!

— ectoBiologist [EB] ceased pestering turntechGodhead [TG] —

That should do it. You feel a bit better now because of it, too.

But man. You cannot wait for the day Dave decides to check up on all his offline messages. He’s in for an avalanche of surprise, hehehehe.