• Question:If you owned a McDonald's and all your employees were just clones of yourself, what problems would your McDonald's have?
  • Andrew:Okay, so you know in American Gladiators at the end when they have those guns that shoot the tennis balls? I would have that but they'd be shooting chicken nuggets and then I would have a really big dog that would try to eat the chicken nuggets in the air. Like, catch them in his mouth.
Cutting Fangs

This is an unrefined drabble that was dropped from the first draft of my House Arrest AU due to a change in plot and misrepresentation.

Summary: Vampire ghosts- and half-breeds of- routinely lose and replace their fangs throughout their lifespans. Dan Phantom, however did not get that memo and Jazz and Danny are left to deal with a 26 year old male fussing like a child because his mouth hurts.

  • Guy on train:I'd fuck you if you didn't have so many tattoos.
  • Me:*turns up music*
  • Guy:I said I'd fuck you if you didn't have so many tattoos!
  • Me:*takes off headphones* Leave. Me. Alone.
  • Guy:Why the fuck do you have so many tattoos?
  • Me:
  • Guy:Are you fucking deaf as well as a piece of trash?
  • Lady by door:Hey. Leave her alone.
  • Guy:Are you her trash girlfriend? Fucking dykes, all tattooed like fucking men. Disgusting waste of pussy.
  • Lady:*moves forward, carefully moves jacket so only I can see the badge on her belt* Are you okay?
  • Me:Fine. Just wish he'd go away.
  • Lady cop:I can make that happen.
  • Guy:Oh, yeah, bitch? Who the fuck are you? I'll kill you!
  • Lady cop:And that's what I was waiting for. *grabs guy, holds him against the door* Harassing women on the train was enough, but you just threatened a cop. You're battin' a thousand tonight.
  • Entire train:*applauds*


I took inspiration from Beyonce’s latest album (both in subject matter and marketing) and decided to drop a drawing from nowhere to end my Tumblr rut.  I took out the prints on Beyonce’s jacket and Jourdan’s trousers because it was too hard and I gave up.  
*Thank you Karen Langley and Ricky Saiz for this visual urban fashion head explosion.

**Thank you Timbaland for my favourite beat of yours in forever.  


Will “do you even lift” Graham