You were born to be you, not some watered-down version of you that fits your crush’s mold of the ideal partner. You wouldn’t be happy there in that situation, anyway. Hiding parts of your truth or editing yourself to be more ‘likable’ has a bitter flavor of silence that only you can taste. You’re not the only one that suffers from that omission or lie, though. There are people out there looking for someone just like you, who’s maybe a little bit 'too’ this or that, in your opinion, but not at all too much or too little in theirs. They suffer, too, because they miss out on the privilege of meeting you. Yes, I said the privilege of meeting you. Anyone who has the opportunity to know and love you just as you are is privileged, blessed, or whatever else you want to call it. You are exactly what someone out there is looking for.
I’m not saying this because it’s idealistic; I’m saying this because it’s true. There is no perfect match, ever, but someday, you will be as close to perfectly matching someone’s ideal partner characteristics as anyone can be. And then you’ll be even better than they ever could have hoped for; that checklist of the characteristics they once sought will get chucked out the window. They’ll no longer need it. You embody the most important qualities that they were looking for and then some they were too timid to even ask for because those are so rare and beautiful.
Hang in there in your time of not believing this quite yet. The writer Goethe said, 'The soul that sees beauty may sometimes walk alone.’ Note that he did not say forever. In the meantime, in that sometimes that you’ll walk alone, cherish that beauty you see. You’ll get to share that beauty with someone someday, but for now, enjoy your solo meanders through parks, quiet afternoons reading novels or watching classic films, or reflective evenings on your couch, drinking cups of tea and watching sky-shattering storms pass. Build a life you’ll be excited to share with someone someday, but live it today just as it is, and be true to yourself wherever your feet touch the ground. Your truth is astounding. You are, too.
Live your truth out loud, for it will lead you to where you are meant to be. For the romantics out there, 129/365