life lesson

Witches can be right, Giants can be good. You decide what’s right, you decide what’s good.

Into the Woods

His Mom Served Burnt toast , but he was shocked when his Dad said this.
“When I was about eight or nine, my mom burnt some toast .
One night that stood out in my mind is when she had made dinner for us after a very long and rough day at work, She placed a plate of jam and extremely burned toast in front of my dad. Not slightly burnt but completely blackened toast.
I was just waiting to see if anyone noticed the burnt toast and say anything. But Dad just ate his toast and asked me if I did my homework and how my day was. I don’t remember what I told him that night, but I do remember hearing my mom apologizing to dad for burning the toast. And I’ll never forget what he said:
“Sweetie, I love burned toast.”
Later that night, I went to tell my dad good night and ask him if he really liked his toast burned. He put his arm on my shoulder and said,
“Your momma put in a very long day at work today and she was very tired. And besides, A burnt toast never hurts anyone but you know what does? Harsh words!”
The he continued to say “You know, life is full of imperfect things and imperfect people I’m not the best at hardly anything, and I forget birthdays and anniversaries just like every other human. What I’ve learned over the years, is that learning to accept each others faults and choosing to celebrate each other’s differences, is one of the most important keys for creating a healthy, growing, and lasting relationship. Life is too short to wake up with regrets. Love the people who treat you right and have compassion for the ones who don’t.”

Enjoy Life Now.

It’s okay to plan some stuff and it’s okay to figure out what we did wrong, but our plans are randomly going to fall apart and our lessons are randomly going to be wrong but if we just keep the cameras rolling and shoot a lot of crap eventually Annie is going to reach down her shirt and pull out a laser bomb.  I didn’t write that. We didn’t plan that. God made that happen. God made this movie. And it’s dumb and we’re dumb for being in it.  Life is a big, dumb pointless movie with no story and an abrupt ending where the hero gets shot by Dracula in the middle of a lunch order during an outtake but somewhere in there every once in a while… [jeff-Annie reaches down her shirt]. So we keep the cameras rolling and we edit out the parts we don’t like and we STOP thinking about Chris Pratt so much because it is not healthy.
—  Abed Nadir in Community S6E8: Intro to Recycled Cinema

You were born to be you, not some watered-down version of you that fits your crush’s mold of the ideal partner. You wouldn’t be happy there in that situation, anyway. Hiding parts of your truth or editing yourself to be more ‘likable’ has a bitter flavor of silence that only you can taste. You’re not the only one that suffers from that omission or lie, though. There are people out there looking for someone just like you, who’s maybe a little bit 'too’ this or that, in your opinion, but not at all too much or too little in theirs. They suffer, too, because they miss out on the privilege of meeting you. Yes, I said the privilege of meeting you. Anyone who has the opportunity to know and love you just as you are is privileged, blessed, or whatever else you want to call it. You are exactly what someone out there is looking for.

I’m not saying this because it’s idealistic; I’m saying this because it’s true. There is no perfect match, ever, but someday, you will be as close to perfectly matching someone’s ideal partner characteristics as anyone can be. And then you’ll be even better than they ever could have hoped for; that checklist of the characteristics they once sought will get chucked out the window. They’ll no longer need it. You embody the most important qualities that they were looking for and then some they were too timid to even ask for because those are so rare and beautiful.

Hang in there in your time of not believing this quite yet. The writer Goethe said, 'The soul that sees beauty may sometimes walk alone.’ Note that he did not say forever. In the meantime, in that sometimes that you’ll walk alone, cherish that beauty you see. You’ll get to share that beauty with someone someday, but for now, enjoy your solo meanders through parks, quiet afternoons reading novels or watching classic films, or reflective evenings on your couch, drinking cups of tea and watching sky-shattering storms pass. Build a life you’ll be excited to share with someone someday, but live it today just as it is, and be true to yourself wherever your feet touch the ground. Your truth is astounding. You are, too.

—  Live your truth out loud, for it will lead you to where you are meant to be. For the romantics out there, 129/365 (e.f.a.)
Anxiously seeking approval is often an attempt at trying to gain and keep a sense of control. If we can just make people ‘happy’ by being what we imagine they want us to be, then we won’t be rejected or abandoned. Truth is, this just doesn’t work. If anything, it allows us to be walked on and possibly manipulated or taken advantage of.
—  Something my therapist said.