leverage**

some random leverage headcanons:
  • eliot spencer: leap baby. he was born on one of those rare february 29ths rarely seen in the wild and thus only has one real birthday every four years. parker, who had never really thought about the concept of leap babies before this fact about eliot came to light, is HORRIFIED by this, and takes to throwing eliot impromptu makeup birthday “parties.” given that parker spent many years throwing herself birthday “parties,” that word is a loose definition of the happenings at best; usually she takes him to steal something expensive under false pretenses and then yells SURPRISE when he realizes why they’re really there. hardison, on the other hand, is very focused on the fact that eliot’s 40th birthday will technically be his 10th, and goes to great lengths to put together elaborate events that are not remotely appropriate for the grown man eliot actually is. eliot will insist to anyone who will listen that he hates both of these approaches, but everyone knows that he’s lying.
  • once every six months or so eliot has to replace their microwave because parker has put foil inside of it and turned it on. she claims every time that she “forgot” to take it off some food she was reheating, but eliot has replaced like 15 microwaves and never once found anything but foil inside the old ones; he’s pretty sure she just likes blowing the damned things up. he would personally rather just live without a microwave at this point, but hardison point-blank refuses – eliot’s home cooked meals are all well and good, but sometimes a man just needs his hot pockets. 
  •  hardison likes to take long, luxurious showers, but he is 100% convinced that there is something wrong with the hot water in their building, because every now and again, totally randomly, with no correlation to length of shower or time of day or use of other water-based appliances he can figure out (and believe me, he has devoted considerable time to his attempt to do just that), the water will abruptly go ice cold and ruin his whole shower experience. someday soon, he will figure out that the link between these incidents is eliot, standing next to their water heater with a wrench and cackling to himself as hardison shrieks blue murder above him. when that day comes his revenge shall be swift and merciless. 
  •  at some point, parker sees some film or tv show that features the concept of blowing a kiss and makes that squinty-eyed devious face that always makes hardison and eliot exchange a look of concern/borderline terror. shortly after that, it becomes apparent that she’s decided that she can poke their injuries all she likes if she kisses her finger before she does it. this is, of course, very wrong, but they both find it – especially the long suffering face she makes as she does it, as if to say FINE, YOU BIG BABIES, IF YOU WON’T JUST LET ME JAB AT IT LIKE NORMAL PEOPLE ANYMORE – too adorable to correct her (not that either of them, eliot in particular, would admit it). 
  • hardison does, eventually, brew up a batch he calls thief juice. it does weirdly well, eventually becoming a staple on the brewpub’s beer list, though there’s always a steep drop in sales whenever parker starts sneaking up behind people who order it to declare proudly that it’s a mouth crime.

@vannabelt: Amazing progress pic from my client, pictured above, of the results she- together with the support of #GelV- was able to bring about! Although individual results may vary, she was able to proactively tackle skin aesthetic issues- namely dimpling, cellulite, and stubborn textural concerns. The result? The safe and effective accelerated smoothing of the topical layer of skin, thereby making unsightly lumpiness less pronounced by way of our cold-sensation formula derived from camphor, menthol, and centella asiatica. To further streamline her progress in not only addressing superficial issues, but also tightening and trimming targeted areas, our innovative compression apparel designed for the thighs would be ideal leveraged for my client’s specific concerns. Virtually all of us have experienced or become a slave to the unyielding grip of cellulite, stretch marks, or flaccidity- now it’s time to do something about it! Our herbally-based gel, when used in combination with a sustainable lifestyle shift to not counteract your progress, has bridged the gap between thousands of clients’ DESIRED and ACTUAL results. Click the link in the bio to learn more about what #GelV can do to help you reach your individual fitness goals in less time than you may have ever dreamt possible!

Guys, buying the Leverage soundtrack has changed everything about housework.

Dishes?  No no, searching for a hidden device

Sweeping the floor?  No, sweeping for bugs

Putting the laundry away?  No, undercover sneaking past my cat who must not see my face.

Dunnnn dundun dun dun da dun dun…

Okay but lol if you think any combination of the leverage ot3 would have a baby.

A kid? Yes.

A baby? Eh.

A kid living alone on the streets, picking pockets, starting fights, getting caught in the middle of a B&E? YES. THAT IS THE CHILD THEY WOULD TAKE IN AS THIER OWN AND LOVE AND RAISE.

The Merge Trophy (part 1: He’s pure evil)

Writer: Me (pikitanita.tumblr.com) 

Ship: Kai x Reader 

Plot: Kai kidnaps you, and it appears you’re not just leverage, but that he thinks you’re part of his victory. He wants to claim you, while you still hate him. 

Timeline: The day after he kidnapped Elena to practice magic. 

Warnings: Evil Kai (pre-merge), violence, swearing, 4354 words (long), written by non-native english speaker (I do my best! :) )

Note: To be continued…


Keep reading

4

Alexander: Tara’s the smartest girl in our class.

Bella: Great. What are your favourite subjects, Tara?

Tara: Pretty much everything except Science. It’s so boring.

Mortimer: [winces]

T: I mean, who cares about life on other planets and all that what-if astrology crap when there’s so much wrong with this one? Poverty, weird weather, wildfires…

M: What would you kno-

Al: Well, you did write that paper that you got an A on, remember?

T: Yeah. Ugh. Most boring thing ever. I’m going to get into the arts when I get to college. Find ways to leverage a lot of commercial viability off them.

Armand: That’s my girl.

M: [almost passes out]

(me and Jo being crazy about the idea of Stiles meeting the Trio [aka Hardison, Parker and Eliot] from Leverage)

Jo in italics.

Also, I just finished watching The Morning After Job (Leverage, season 3), where Hardison becomes overly fond of a baseball bat. And now I can’t stop picturing he and Stiles bonding over baseball bat usage. And Stiles saying ‘age of the geek, baby’. And being surprised that Elliot isn’t a werewolf, given that he does growl.

Oh man! Yeah! I can so see that! I may also just really need Stiles to say “Age of the geek, baby” now, to Peter preferably. But MAN YES. I actually need Stiles being friends with the whole trio! Geeking out with Hardison, having Parker teach him the ways of the Vents, playing baseball with Eliot and Eliot big brothering him and teaching him how to fight without a gun. Oh man. This is perfect. Also, Eliot is better than any werewolf and I want to see him in a one-off with Derek :D

Yes! I bet they ran into Stiles (or he ran into them) on a job. They finally (finally!) get into the secure location, and there’s a kid in a plaid shirt sitting in the server room downloading all the information they need. And he looks incredibly guilty.
Good call on Elliot playing big brother, he totally would. And Stiles would take advantage of every learning opportunity. And through Parker Stiles would learn a whole new way to sneak around. He gets to pretend to be a super spy–and take advantage of his body type. “Skinny, defenseless Stiles” would like to see a werewolf get through an air vent. Those shoulders aren’t an advantage now, huh buddy?
They keep in touch afterward. Hardison and he play WoW together (or another online gaming community that battles mythical creatures). And bonding over their vehicles. Stiles would not rank Lucille above his Jeep, but he would respect her

You know, I was thinking of an Leverage/TW crossover fic ever since I started watching Leverage, but now all I want is Stiles to be the favorite of the trio and they coming in to save him from some baddie right at the same time as the Pack bursts in, or having just freed Stiles as the Pack gets ready to do it and the two words clashing. And Parker wouldn’t even be surprised by the supernatural, just take it as a normal thing, and Hardison would be all “Well, your google search did get extremely bizarre lately”. And Eliot would stare Derek down and tell Boyd he wants to spar with him at some point and just, you know, everybody would look like him all “you can tell they’re werewolves?!” and he’s just all “It’s a very distinctive posture.” ALSO, fuck yes to Lucille and Roscoe bonding time.

This is now a thing I want (that basically sums up my entire experience with Steter people).

I think Parker would be the one to ask all the ridiculous werewolf questions (completely without shame). And Peter would be the one to provide answers (of varying degrees of truth).

And something like: Boyd agrees to spar with Elliot, on one condition. He has to spar with Erica first.

paradoxgavel asked:

Do you know of any shows, games, books, etc. that have an alloromantic asexual in it? I've been looking all over for some body I can't find any.

Check out our masterpost of recommendations of just asexual fiction - I’m sure some of those will be what you’re looking for! In particular, try out Leverage. Parker is easily interpreted as asexual, and while I read her as demiromantic, you might see her another way! Also, try fanfiction. 

-Kiowa