I should really be writing my gov paper..........
I guess you could say that this week was pretty rough. I got deferred from my first choice and of course I was devastated. I cried for two hours straight and cried sporadically throughout the school day on Friday. It hurt a lot. I honestly thought something was wrong with me. That I was not good enough for them. This one kid got in from my school and I thought to myself what makes him so much better than me. I worked my butt of in high school and yet he got in over me. At first of course I despised him, but I am happy for him. I am happy for everyone who got into college. It just wasn’t meant to be for me. This deferral was not all that bad. It made me realize how awesome my friends are. How they are willing to cheer me up no matter what. I am really glad for that. I think I would still be moping if it was for them. Senior year has been rough, but it had made me realize what awesome friends I do have. I usually hate hugging people, because I really dont know how to hug, but all I wanted to do on Friday was hung all of my friends. They just make me so happy and I am grateful for every one of them.
On another note LBMC was this weekend and I had the most amazing time. I know I did not win an award or anything, but I improved so much that I am proud of myself. In committee, debate was invigorating. I never had such good debate in committee. The bills were honestly amazing. Committee at Lawrence was honestly awful last week and even though I got a shout out in that committee, I was more satisfied with my speaking at LBMC. I guess I like to concentrate on self-improvement more than winning an award. I even spoke in House and that made me the happiest =]. I never went up before, but I kinda wanted to prove to myself that I deserve to be on board. I may not win awards, but I want to show others that I can speak and actually express my opinions. I asked questions, went up for general debate, and spoke at yield fests. That feeling of going up there was amazing. I know I was shaking whenever I spoke, but that honestly didn’t matter. I conquered a fear and that made the happy. The best moment at this congress though was when this girl Lauren from Tri-D came up to me and said that I spoke well. No one ever really comes up to me at congress and this honestly made me so happy. No one really knows me at congress and for this one girl to actually come up to me and compliment made me feel so happy. I needed congress this weekend, to get distracted from college, from life.
I am grateful for UMC,my delegation HERRICKS and all of my friends <3
Now to get back to gov….but wow this was a really long post, but I am in such a good mood. Thanks LBMC :D