I need to make a dating profile that says Hi, if you aren’t a piece of shit, and you look like Bruce Dickinson from about 1982 to any time, I’ll review your application and maybe email you, but probably not, because you’re probably also a piece of shit.

The description piece of shit includes: shitty authors, shitty artists, neckbeards, asshats, fuckbags who think they can just tell me oommmmg you should put your poetry in my shitty sci fi pulp disaster book (yeeeah right), and also middleaged dudebros who think it’s hilarious to try to say nasty shit to me while I’m working.

God forbid I can’t meet a seemingly normal guy who is nice to me AND single. Apparently being nice AND single is too fucking much.

I need to move, about a year ago, somewhere the fuck else.