lalalaa

Title: Smoke You Out

Word Count: 5000+

Summary: Blaine is a sort of hopeless Sex Ed teacher, and Kurt is a jackass who thinks his classes need a little more of a hands on approach.

Basically I wanted to write nerd!Blaine and badboy!Kurt but I wanted teacher!Klaine as well so this happened. And it’s basically pure crack and then porn.

10 Conyo-mandments

1. Thou shall make gamit “make+pandiwa”.
ex. “Let’s make pasok na to our class!”
“Wait lang! I’m making kain pa!”
“Come on na, we can’t make hintay anymore! It’s in Andrew pa, you
know?”

2. Thou shall make kalat “noh”, “diba” and “eh” in your pangungusap.
ex. “I don’t like to make lakad in the baha nga, no? Eh diba it’s like, so
eew, diba?”
“What ba: stop nga being maarte noh?”
“Eh as if you want naman also, diba?”

3. When making describe a whatever, always say “It’s SO pang-uri!”
ex. “It’s so malaki, you know, and so mainit!”
“I know right? So sarap nga, eh!”
“You’re making me inggit naman.. I’ll make bili nga my own burger.”

4. When you are lalaki, make parang punctuation “dude”, ‘tsong” or “pare”
ex. “Dude, ENGANAL is so hirap, pare.”
“I know, tsong, I got bagsak nga in quiz one, eh”

5. Thou shall know you know? I know right!
ex. “My bag is so bigat today, you know”
“I know, right! We have to make dala pa kasi the jumbo Physics book
eh!”

6. Make gawa the plural of pangngalans like in English or Spanish .
ex. “I have so many tigyawats, oh!”

7. Like, when you can make kaya, always use like. Like, I know right?
ex. “Like, it’s so init naman!”
“Yah! The aircon, it’s, like sira!”

8. Make yourself feel so galing by translating the last word of your
sentence, you know, your pangungusap?
ex. “Kakainis naman in the LRT! How plenty tao, you know, people?”
“It’s so tight nga there, eh, you know, masikip?”

9. Make gamit of plenty abbreviations, you know, daglat?”
ex. “Like, OMG! It’s like traffic sa LRT”
“I know right? It’s so kaka!”
“Kaka?”
“Kakaasar!”

10. Make gamit the pinakamaarte voice and pronunciation you have para full
effect!
ex. “I’m, like, making aral at the Arrhneo!”
“Me naman, I’m from Lazzahl!”

Please someone write a destiel fic about Dean who has to fly to Los Angeles to attend the wedding of Sam and Jess (He’s the best man, obviously) where he meets Castiel, a co worker of Jess who works at the local hospital. At first they don’t really like each other, Cas thinking that Dean is an arrogant bastard and Dean thinking Cas is a #1 douchebag. But they become great friends after Cas had to give Dean some stitches (I told you, Cas. That dog hated me from the start. Can’t blame it tho, everyone wants a piece of me ”Cas?” Uhm..yeah..I mean..Castiel is quite a mouthfull..) They start to flirt casually and they end up dating. Bonus points if it kinda ends with: I always wondered why they called it the City of Angels, but I think I understand now. I found mine.

myideassucksomuchimsosorry

the-liars-you-love:

Send me a “~” for my muse’s reaction to yours sliding their arms around my muse’s waist and kissing them.

Lonnie hadn’t seen that one coming. After their meeting at the hospital when she got back from Cambodia, she hadn’t really imagined that it would be simple for Leon to walk up and kiss here, yet here they were. She felt a rush of color to her face when he slid his arms around her waist and she settled her hands on his shoulders. When their lips met it seemed like the most normal thing in the world, except that it really wasn’t. She returned the kiss gently before pulling away and resting her forehead against his. “What was that for?” she asked quietly, a smile obvious in her tone.

One of his many flaws was that he was overconfident, and especially now after having all his confidence being taken away from him by Scott, he needed to express his certainty in some way. Since rather than rejecting him, Lonnie welcomed it, and Leon could slowly start to build up his self-esteem with her help, even if it wasn’t intentionally given. “Just happy to see you.”

youtube

Take A Hint - Victoria Justice & Liz Gillies - Live

Omfg Liz headbanging.

2

- Estou apaixonado por você, Bella - disse Jacob numa voz segura e firme. - Bella eu te amo, quero que escolha a mim e não ele. Sei que não sente o mesmo, mas preciso dizer a verdade, assim você saberá que tem opções. Eu não quero que um mal entendido nos atrapalhe.

(..)

- N.. - comecei a objetar, mas era tarde demais.

Os lábios dele apertaram os meus, parando o meu protesto. Ele me beijou raivosamente, a sua outra mão apertando a minha nuca com força, tornando impossível escapar. Eu empurrei o peito dele com toda a minha força, mas ele nem pareceu reparar. A boca dele era macia, apesar da raiva, os lábios dele se moldando aos meus de uma forma cálida, desconhecida.
Eu agarrei o rosto dele, tentando afastá-lo, falhando novamente. Dessa vez, no entando, ele pareceu reparar, e isso o deixou agravado.
Os lábios dele forçaram os meus a se abrir, e eu podia sentir a respiração quente dele na minha boca.
Agindo por instinto, eu deixei as minhas mãos cairem dos meus lados, e fiquei quieta. Eu abri os meus olhos e não lutei, não sentí... eu só esperei que ele parasse.
Funcionou. A raiva pareceu evaporar, e ele me afastou pra olhar pra mim. Ele pressionou os lábios dele levemente nos meus de novo, uma vez, duas… uma terceira vez. Eu fingí que era uma estátua e esperei.
Finalmente, ele soltou o meu rosto e se afastou.

Eclipse, capítulo 10.